Stay
by Wren Gebel
Summary: "Why did you stay?" Malfoy asked. I held my breath. Good question. "Because you needed someone. And that was me," After the Quidditch match, Hermione goes the Room Of Requirement instead of an empty class room. What she finds there might change her life, and if she's lucky, someone else's too. Rated M mostly for language and possibly others. Chapter 23 is up now, have a great read!
1. Bookshelves

**Disclaimer:Nothing you read in this story belongs to me. All credit goes to Queen J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Bookshelves**

_I need a place to cool down. I need a place to cool down._

I kept thinking this over and over again in my head as I marched briskly toward the Room of Requirement. I was just so tired of Ronald lately! My unruly curls flipped behind me from my fast pace. My hands were balled in tight fists, my fingernails almost cutting into my skin. He and that Lavender Brown were driving me nuts! And tonight was suppose to be fun! A night of celebration! Gryffindor had won the Quidditch match! And it was fun, until Ron laid one on Lavender _right in front of everyone._

My heavy footsteps echoed off the walls loudly. It was after hours, but I was too angry to care if I got caught. Tears of anger burned down my face. Merlin I hate him so much! How long had he been flirting with me? Since fifth year? And I was just starting to get interested and flirt back when he had to pull something like this! And the worst part is that I can't talk to anyone. Harry and Ginny think it's oh so cute. Disgusting!

I growled softly without meaning to. My steps became faster with anticipation as I neared the Room. Drawing closer I could see that the door was already there, waiting for me. If I wasn't so angry I might have noticed how odd that was, but my mind was so clouded with hatred toward Ron that I couldn't think about anything else.

The light from the torches shown brightly off the elaborate metallic designs that spiraled throughout the large door. _You can let your anger out here._ It seemed to say, or maybe it was just my wishful thinking. I really needed to cool down before my head popped off.

My hands were pale and shaking fiercely when I flung open the door with enough force to smash anything behind it to smithereens. However, there was nothing directly behind it, so it swung open silently and stopped moving right before it hit the wall. I slammed it shut, but it only made a small 'click' as it connected to the frame.

For a moment I just stood there shaking and taking in the room, trying to decide if the Room really understood what I wanted. There were glass vases everywhere. There was a long window seat on the far wall with plenty of pillows and blankets. It looked out on a spectacular view that I knew must be bewitched, because you cannot see the ocean from Hogwarts. There were many bookshelves full of big fat novels placed everywhere in no particular order and a dozen windows hung from the wall to the left. A bucket full of hard white balls was placed next to them.

I hoped the room was sound proof because I was going to scream. Loudly.

I picked up a vase and chucked it as hard as I could at the far wall, putting all my anger into it. It smashed to pieces with a satisfying crack, littering the floor. I stared wide eyed at what I'd just done. Never before had I ever done anything like that, but it felt so good.

I picked up another one and threw it fast. Then another and another. I imagined them smacking into Ron's face. Some time during my fit I stopped crying and my tears dried to my face, leaving it to feel dry and almost sticky.

I was making a huge mess, but it felt too amazing to stop. I picked up a ball from the bucket and pelted the nearest window, creating a huge crack all the way across and a large hole in the middle. Eventually I even stopped thinking about Ron and Lavender. I don't think I ever felt better.

The muscles in my right arm were starting to ache, but I kept going. My fiery rage couldn't be stopped now. The heat in my arm cooled the rest of me down somehow. The more _it_ hurt the less _I_ hurt.

When I ran out of windows to smash I turned to the bookshelves, but stopped when I looked at them, panting hard. I loved books too much to destroy them, even if they would repair right away, but that wasn't what made me stop. Two of the bookshelves were already empty, the ripped and crinkled books lay in a heap at the bottom, and one bookshelf was half destroyed, like someone had been interrupted half way through.

My heart started pounding faster than it already had been. What if they were still in the room? They had to be. The door had never opened. Why didn't I notice this before?! Why didn't I think that the door already being there meant someone was here? Why am I so thick!

My face grew red, realizing that they had probably seen my whole temper tantrum go down, but obviously they had had one themselves.

I walked cautiously toward the bookshelves, thinking that that was the only place they could hide. I felt awkward and silly creeping around the mess like a child playing hide and seek, but I didn't think it was appropriate to call out either.

Even if I was going to say anything it was too late. The bookshelves dissipated and there was nothing blocking my view anymore. For a moment, the sight made me want to heave.

Way back in the corner someone was hunched up in the fetal position with their face in their hands. Their back, covered by the white school uniform shirt, was shaking slightly like they were crying, but no noise was escaping.

The air suddenly got thin and cold. I couldn't breath. Goosebumps boiled up and down my arms, making the little hairs stand on end. I could feel the sadness radiating off their body. I wanted to touch them and tell them it was okay. Whatever they were worrying about, I wanted to comfort them in a motherly way, the way I would do to Harry and Ron if he wasn't such a git right now.

Quietly, I walked forward and stretched out my hand to touch their back gently. I narrowed my eyes at the quivering form, thinking I recognized the platinum hair. My fingers brushed their shoulder lightly, but it was enough to make them whip around fiercely and me jump.

Cold grey eyes bore into mine. They filled with surprise for a moment, but even through that I could see the pain. The sadness and tears on his face completely caught me off guard. What I said next was supposed to be shouted and dripping with disgust. But instead, it came out in a horse whisper and my voice caught in my throat.

"Malfoy?"

"Fuck," he wiped his tears quickly, but his eyes were still red and bloodshot. I could tell he was trying to hold back more.

And that was all he said. No insult, no yelling, no fighting. Just that. Maybe I should have felt like he deserved what he was crying over, but Malfoy never cries, not for real. He didn't even look like he was angry to see me, he just looked like he'd given up. I felt bad for intruding on what ever he had been doing. Obviously he wanted to be alone or he would have just gone to one of his cocky sidekicks.

"I'll just go," I whispered. I turned around and watched the glass disappear into a fog and then the room was incredibly bare and white. It probably didn't know what either of us needed right now. I was confused myself.

My footsteps echoed in the large blank space. I moved quickly to the door so that Malfoy could just be alone. This was the closest I'd ever felt to feeling bad for him, something must have hurt him a lot. Maybe his mother was ill, perhaps his father had died. I don't know, but for it to make Malfoy cry like that, it must have been bad.

My hand was on the door handle when I heard the scratchy words that made my blood run cold. I froze. My eyes wide. I couldn't have heard that right. But there it was again. It must _really _be bad.

"Please,"

Hardly a whisper. I turned around, he was crying again and not even bothering to wipe the tears away. I stared at him in shock.

"Please just stay. You don't have to touch me or talk to me or look at me, but don't leave. Please,"

I couldn't believe what I heard. He realized who I was, didn't he? Draco Malfoy never begged for anything. He looked so small and weak. When was the last time he ate? His skin was even paler than I remembered. Black circles around sunk in eyes.

I didn't say or do anything. I couldn't. Why doesn't he just ask one of his mates? Why doesn't he just get Pansy to suck face with him for awhile? That would make him feel better I'm sure.

He put his face back in his hands. Great. I made him feel worse. I shouldn't feel bad, but I do.

Now what am I doing? Am I actually walking away from the door? _Stop!_ I screamed to myself. _Just leave him! It's Malfoy! He's a git! Just go!_ But I couldn't stop. My feet just kept moving. The ground turned into a thick white carpet that would be comfortable to sit on. I felt the need to comfort him, even if he'd done some pretty mean things in the past.

To my own disbelief, and I'm sure his, I sat down next to him. Not too close, but close enough for him to know I was there.

It was quiet. He didn't look back up and I didn't look at him. Neither of us said anything. I don't know how long we sat there, the lights dimmed slightly so that it wasn't so bright and it seemed to be getting a little darker bit by bit. I I stared at the blank wall in front of me and listened to him cry. It was so peaceful somehow. It meant Malfoy was actually a human. With feelings. It meant his had been hurt badly.

Eventually his breathing became slower and more relaxed. When it took on a steady pattern I dared a look at him.

His head was on his arms, but lolled to the side so that I could see his face. His normally perfect hair was a mess of snow white strands, some sticking up and some falling down into his face. His eyes were closed and the lids were red and raw from rubbing them. Tear marks were prominent down his hollow cheeks. He looked like a wreck. A frail, helpless, wreck.

I don't think I'd ever seen anything like it. Someone who's supposed to be cocky and tall and arrogant was sitting before me, small and weak and fragile. And it was probably the saddest thing I'd ever witnessed.

Was I supposed to stay? Did I want to stay? No doubt the Gryffindor party would still be in full swing in the common room, so if I when't back there I'd get no sleep and I didn't want to be bothered either. Also, I had no idea were Ron and Lavender would be. Even the thought of the two made my blood start to boil again. I was afraid I might do something really horrible if I ran into them.

I looked back at Draco. Should I wake him? He looked as though he hadn't slept for days, this was good for him. Why did I care?

I leaned my head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, like the ceiling in the Great Hall, it was bewitched to look like the night sky. I looked dreamily for constellations I knew, which wasn't many. But it was so beautiful that I hardly cared. Draco breathed deeply, I mimicked him and closed my eyes. I felt light. Sleep masked me so I felt like I was just a body-less soul, floating in a world were nothing mattered. Ron didn't matter. Lavender didn't matter. The fact that I was sitting next to my worst enemy didn't matter.

* * *

I woke with a start. Something was shoving me hard and someone was yelling.

"Bloody hell! Granger, get the fuck off me!"

My eyes sprung open and I toppled backward from Malfoy's hard pushing. Had I fallen over on him during the night? I could understand some of his anger, but after all, he had been the one who asked me to stay.

His pale face was tinged with red. He still had dark circles around his eyes and sunken cheeks, but he didn't look as weak as he did last night.

He stood up quickly and took out his wand which he pointed at me with force and hatred. I stared back at him, slightly dazed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he spat.

I brushed the curls from my face and stood up so I didn't seem intimidated by him. What was he on about? I should be asking _him_ that! I took out my wand too so that I could block any hex he threw at me.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

I jumped slightly at the force in his voice and then prayed that he hadn't seen.

"Maybe you don't remember!" I shot back, "But you were the one who asked me to stay last night!"

His eyes flashed for a moment and he lowered his wand slightly. But just as quickly, the scowl was back on his face and his wand was brought back up. This was more like the Malfoy I remembered.

"I was drunk!" he stumbled over those few words a bit.

Was that really the best he could come up with? He was drunk?! Was that red hue in his face from anger or embarrassment?

I laughed sarcastically. "You were drunk?" I confirmed.

"Obviously. I'd never get that close to a mud-" he stumbled over his words. "-you, if I was sober,"

I was completely taken back, but I made sure not to show it. Why didn't he say it? He had been given the perfect opportunity to spit that foul word at me and watch my confidence go crashing down. But he didn't. His breakdown last night, begging me to stay, and his missed opportunity at using the word, really had me thinking. What was wrong with Draco Malfoy? What was going on in his life that made him like this? It was scary, I didn't like it.

His eyes were wide like he had just realized what he'd stopped himself from doing. His wand was a little too low again, and after a few seconds he still didn't bring it up. I knew then that he wasn't going to do anything and I relaxed a little.

"You didn't sound that drunk," I crossed my arms. He narrowed his eyes again and furrowed his brow. "I didn't smell any alcohol on your breath," I raised an eyebrow at him, very proud of myself for noticing those details. "Why would you be drinking anyway? Slytherin lost, I don't think that's something for you to celebrate about,"

He adjusted his grip on his wand nervously and reset his feet. I watched his lips part slightly like he was going to say something, but he kept snapping his jaw shut before any words fell out of his mouth.

His hair was still a mess, but it was refreshing from his usual slicked back and perfect hair, it was almost comical. His Slytherin tie was loose and dangling like a pendulum. And the top two buttons of his shirt were undone along with half of his shirt being untucked. Again, so unusual compared to his usual crispness. It was indeed, an odd sight to see.

Evidently he couldn't think of any snarky comments to shoot back because all he said was, "Don't tell anyone about this. Don't you dare say anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you honestly think I was about to announce to the whole school that I spent the night in The Room Of Requirement with the Slytherin ferret?" I bit back.

Again he hesitated. "I wasn't talking about that,"

I smirked at him.

I would never stoop that low. What I saw last night was a rare form of Malfoy, and I knew how horrible of a person I'd be if I told anyone. But that wasn't going to stop me from using this as black mail. We'll see if Malfoy dares to trip me in the halls again.

"Fine," I hissed.

He stared hard at me for a second longer and then turned quickly on his heal. He marched to the door and slammed it shut behind him. So I was left alone to wonder what in the world had just happened.

I checked my watch.

Great. I was late for breakfast. Still in my Gryffindor pride wear, I sprinted from the Room and toward the Great Hall.

I ran up to were Harry and Ginny were sitting, keeping as far away from were Ron and Lavender were busy cramming their tongues down each other's throats.

"Hey," I said breathlessly and trying to distract myself from the two.

Harry gave me a worried smile.

"What happened to you last nigh?" Ginny asked, all the while eyeing my disheveled appearance.

"I just needed some air," I said, taking a seat and filling my plate. "Things were a little too crazy for my liking,"

I tried really hard to ignore her worried stare.

"But were did you go?" She pried. I stuffed eggs into my mouth. "I didn't hear you return and you weren't there when I woke up,"

Great. Perfect. Lovely. Wonderful. Crap.

I chewed my eggs slowly as an excuse for why I didn't answer her right away, all the while trying to come up with a good explanation. If there was one thing I knew about Ginny, it was that she wouldn't just drop it.

I glanced over at the Slytherin table, and more specifically, at Malfoy. He was by himself and he wasn't eating. Just playing with his food. As though he sensed my eyes on him, he looked up and directly at me. I saw him glance nervously between Ginny and me. He glared hard at me. _You better not be talking about that._ I glared back. Neither of us wanted to be the first to look away._  
_

A hand flashed in front of my face, making me blink and loose eye contact. When I looked back he was already bent over the food he wouldn't eat.

"Hello?" Ginny said.

Harry gave me another worried look, but I ignored him.

"Sorry," I said, recovering. "I just went for a walk and then got up early to go to the library,"

Lies. All of it, lies. But not bad ones. I would have pat myself on the back if that wouldn't have looked suspicious.

Ginny seemed to accept it, but Harry wasn't so easily swayed.

"Is there something going on, Hermione?" He asked. "Is it Ron and Lavender? Because, even after one night, everyone's a little tired of them always connected at the mouth,"

"No!" I said, a little too quickly, brushing it off. "I'm just stressed out from studying and homework," I gave him a wide grin as if to say that everything really was fine.

He returned it with another nervous one and then went back to his plate.

I looked up and down the Gryffindor table, just now realizing how many of us were missing. I imagined most had stayed up too late and some had drank a little too much and hadn't gotten their hands on a hangover curing potion. Out of the many, I noticed that Dean was absent, along with Seamus, which surprised me a little. No doubt those two had supplied most of the alcohol, but I thought they would be smart enough to bring hangover curing potions.

"I have an idea!" Ginny squealed, suddenly getting excited and making both Harry and me jump.

"This will be good," I muttered.

She ignored me. "Let's go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, just us three!"

I bit my lip. It would be nice, but... "Ginny, I don't think-"

"Oh come on!" she wailed, cutting me off. "You could use the break, Hermione! And when was the last time you went?"

_Not that long ago._ I started to say, but thought it was best not to interrupt.

"Let's go as a group, I doubt Ron will want to go, we can do some shopping and stop at The Three Broomsticks on the way back!" She was practically bouncing with excitement.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I could use the distraction. "Only if Harry will go,"

Ginny and I both turned to him. He smiled. "I'm game,"

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**A/N: And so begins our journey with Stay. Special thanks to all my returning readers from my last story, Searching. No, this is not the sequel to Searching, but I will post updates about a possible sequel in that story.**

**And a special welcome to all my new readers! **

**My previous readers will know that I love reviews, so any questions or comments you have should be put in the review box right down there. vvv **

**I will make an effort to contact you if you have a specific question or concern.**

**With this story I'm going to try to follow the actual story line, but it will be slightly AU because I will add or subtract time in between major events in some cases. If I get some things mixed around, please tell me, but bear with me. I will try to fix it, but it might not always happen.**

**My updates will be pretty random, but normally if I get a lot of reviews I try to update faster.**

**Thanks for making it all the way down here!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	2. Hogsmeade

**Hogsmeade**

Our breath crystallized in the cold air in front of us like little personal clouds. Harry, Ginny, and I trudged through the light snow on the path to Hogsmeade with rosy red cheeks and ice-cold fingers. Next spell I need to learn; the warming charm.

The sky was as white as the ground was, but the sun still shone through enough to reflect brightly off the snow and into our eyes, making us squint against it. Smoke puffed heavily out of the chimneys off most of the little shops, indicating a fire was inside, working hard to keep the shoppers warm. And it was snowing very lightly and lazily, just enough to cover up old footprints.

As we got closer I glanced at the spot were Katy Bell had been cursed and swallowed a nervous lump at the terrifying memory. Harry was still pretty convinced that Malfoy had been behind it and he kept trying to persuade Ginny and me to believe it too. He'd already managed to get Ron, but he was halfway convinced to begin with. I wasn't sure how I felt.

It reminded me of Harry's sureness on Malfoy becoming a Deatheater too, but I didn't think so. Expetially after what I saw two nights ago, I don't think he'd be able to handle that. And besides, Draco Malfoy was just a boy for heaven sakes! He's much to young for that, isn't he?

I stumbled slightly when the path made a curve, bringing me back to the present. Ginny was talking something about how awful Snape's Defense Against The Dark Arts class was. I showed her I was listening by smiling and nodding whenever she looked my direction. Harry was agreeing profoundly and also adding in about what a git Snape was. I hoped no one overheard.

Just as we reached the dark iron gates into Hogsmeade, the last two people I wanted to see came skipping out.

Arm in arm, so close they could hardly walk, was Ronald Weasley and Lavender Brown. I sighed internally. This was supposed to take my mind off of Ron.

"Oh look, Won-Won! It's your friends!" Lavender said, mainly pointing to Harry and Ginny, jumping slightly, and giving the biggest most fake smile I'd ever seen.

I smiled back politely, but it was more like a grimace.

"Hey," Ron said to us. "Lav and I were just going to go for a walk around the lake, you can come if you'd like,"

It took all of my being not to roll my eyes. Like I'd want to go watch them snog the whole time. I kept my jaw locked for fear that I'd laugh out loud.

Thankfully Harry answered. "I think Hermione and Ginny wanted to do some shopping," he offered.

Ron's eyes lit up, he didn't want us to come anyway. "Okay,"

Lavender giggled. "I guess it's just you and me!" She squealed and getting so close to his face that her nose brushed his cherry red cheek.

I could have puked.

We watched as Lavender clung to Ron's arm tightly and pulled him quickly away from us, grinning brightly all the way. I realized my hands were clenched in tight fists and my jaw was aching from grinding my teeth too much.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked.

I shook my head lightly. "Ya," I said. "Just a little queasy is all,"

"Same here," Ginny said. "Those two make me sick. And it's only been one day! Everywhere they go, there they are together, snogging each other silly,"

Harry laughed lightly, but I was too angry to do anything.

"Anyway, come on. I need to get some Christmas shopping done," Ginny grabbed our hands and pulled us through the tall gates and onto the street of the village from a fairy tale.

* * *

First we stopped at Dervish and Bangs were Harry and Ginny practically latched themselves to the Quidditch equipment. They looked and touched and pointed and commented on all the fancy broom grooming kits, protective wear, Quidditch posters, and the new brooms themselves. And for several minutes, they bickered over which broom was actually the best.

I pretended not to notice their petty fight until Ginny started yelling that she knew more about Quidditch than Harry did. Harry's face turned beat red. For a moment I thought he might explode.

Quickly, I ran over and grabbed his arm before he could say anything stupid. We got a lot of annoyed looks as we left the shop and Harry and Ginny were still glaring at each other. They'd get over it soon enough, Harry likes Ginny way too much to hold what she said against her.

And sure enough, as soon as Ginny spotted Zonko's Joke Shop, her face brightened and she ran toward it, completely forgetting about the argument she just had.

"This is were I'll get Ron something!" she told me excitedly. "He loves getting Fred and George back whenever he can, so I think I'll get him something he can use, instead of playing the prank on him,"

I nodded in encouragement and thought about what I should get Ron for Christmas. Maybe I'd just get him something about Quidditch like I planed on for Harry and Ginny.

"Are you coming to The Burrow for Christmas?" Harry asked as we walked slowly toward Zonko's.

_If Lavender isn't going._ I wanted to say. "I don't know," I scuffed my feet. Maybe it'd be nice to surprise my parents by coming home for Christmas. I should get them something too, they'd love something quirky from Hogsmeade.

"Okay," Harry said. "It'd be nice to have you there though, I think Ron might be bringing Lavender, and Ginny's mentioned bringing Dean,"

I smiled sadly at Harry, understanding just how he felt.

We pushed ourselves through Zonko's door and into the incredibly packed little shop. It seemed like the whole school was in there. I barreled through the crowd toward the back were I had spotted the carrot top of Ginny's head. I didn't even bother calling for her, she'd never hear over the loud bangs and pops and chatter.

She was looking at some Christmas crackers that blew up in your face when you popped them. She seemed to be deciding between one that would smell horrible and one that would coat your face in a purple powder.

"What do you think?" she asked Harry and me. "Which would Ron want to use more?" She held up the red and green crackers for us to see.

"Definitely the smelly one," Harry said, grinning.

"Good!" she said. "Let's go to Honeydukes now that that's decided,"

Ginny quickly paid for the crackers and we shimmied out of the shop and back into the frigid air.

Once outside, we heard a voice that made both Harry and Ginny cringe.

"Ginny! I've been looking for you!" Dean Thomas ran up to us and stood in front of Ginny.

Harry tensed up and glared at Dean who was trying to take Ginny's hand.

"Let's go to The Three Broomsticks, I'll buy you a drink," he said.

Ginny crossed her arms defiantly. "I'm still mad at you, Dean,"

He furrowed his brow. "But that was yesterday! Come on!" He rubbed her arms and looked sorrowfully into her eyes.

Harry's face turned red and he glared hard at Dean. I pretended to be looking at something very interesting across the street. Ginny and Dean fought a lot, but somehow they always managed to get back together. I felt like Ginny was too trusting. He would always do something to make up to her and by the end of the day, Ginny would be crying in her bed again. She deserved better.

"Dean-" she started, but he cut her off with a peck on the lips. Her face lightened as Harry's darkened. "I don't-" he kissed her again, making her giggle.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. It was happening again.

"Fine!" she yelled. "One drink! That's it! I'll catch up with you later," she told Harry and me.

Ginny took Dean's hand and walked away. I gave her a worried look when she passed, much like the one she gave me when I showed up late for breakfast yesterday.

_One drink._ She mouthed at me.

I turned to Harry who was watching them walk away sadly. "Come on, lets go to Honeydukes," I took his arm and started walking, trying to distract him from Ginny. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, and that Ginny would come around eventually, but I didn't want to embarrass him by letting him know I knew how much he liked her. Besides, wasn't the same thing happening between Ron and me?

We each got some sweats from Honeydukes and then I dragged Harry to the bookstore were he had to restrain me from spending all my money.

"But I want them all!" I said. My arms were packed full of books and I couldn't decide on just one.

Harry sighed and shook his head. "I know, but if you buy them all you won't have any money left for anything else. You still have to buy your parent's presents don't you?"

I groaned. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it. I set the stack down on a table in the back and laid them out so I could analyze each one. Merlin, I wanted them all so badly.

"You could buy one now and the rest when you're finished," he offered.

If I did that I'd just be itching to come back here tomorrow. I knew I shouldn't have come in here! But it just looked so welcoming and warm and when the door opened it smelled like parchment, and I just couldn't resist!

Harry scratched his head. "How about I buy you one for Christmas, that way you could have two,"

My eyes lit up and I smiled excitedly at him. "Really?!" I gasped. He nodded. I bounced lightly and put a finger to my chin as I decided which two I wanted most.

After I picked out the two I wanted we started heading back toward the castle. It was almost supper time and our stomachs made sure to keep reminding us, too. I shrunk my bags down so I could fit them all in just one and helped Harry do the same.

We made a quick stop in the Gryffindor common room to drop off our stuff and shed our winter wear. Then we found ourselves back down to the Great Hall were we sat next to Neville who seemed to be trying really hard not to stare at Ron and Lavender as they fed each other and made cooing noises.

"Hey Neville," I said while I slid into the spot next to him.

"Hi Hermione!" he said cheerfully. "Hello Harry!"

Harry smiled and nodded back at him.

"How was your day?" Neville asked us nicely.

"Good. Harry, Ginny, and I went to Hogsmeade," I said. "How was yours?"

"That sounds like fun," he said and took a bite of his potatoes. "Mine was fine. Mostly I just.."

But I didn't hear the rest of what he was saying. I didn't mean to zone out or be rude, but just as I was shoveling corn in my mouth I happened to glance over at the Slytherin table, and of course, right at Malfoy. But the surprising thing was that his eyes were already on me. I dropped my spoon with a clang on my plate. He scowled at me hard and then went back to swirling his food around with his fork.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Neville asked.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry look at me and then follow my gaze to Malfoy.

"What did that git do now?" he asked, getting a foul expression on his face.

I shook my head and looked down at my food. "Nothing, just a dirty look," I said truthfully. "You were saying, Neville?" I tried to change the conversation and I picked my spoon.

"Right," Neville said.

Harry gave a concerned and confused look. I glanced at him once and then ignored it by engaging in Neville's conversation. But that didn't stop me for wondering what the heck Malfoy had been doing. I already told him I wasn't going to say anything, he needed to stop worrying and stop glaring at me from across the room.

* * *

After supper, Harry, Neville, and I walked back to the common room and we talked for a bit more in front of the warm fireplace. I sat in the comfy armchair and Harry and Neville sat on the sofa. We were all laughing and joking fine with Seamus until Ginny burst angrily through the prorate hole.

She wasn't crying, but she looked bloody angry. She shot me a glance and then marched furiously up the steps to the Girls' Dormitory. I glanced at Harry who was looking after her, worried and then I got up and followed her.

Her hair was spread out like a fan above her on the bed and she was screaming into her pillow. I walked over to her cautiously and sat down on the bed next to her. I didn't know what to say so I just rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Eventually she calmed down and stopped screaming. When she sat up I asked her what was wrong, although I was pretty sure I already knew.

"Dean and I had a row again!" she said angrily. Her fist were clenched tightly in her lap and her orange hair was a mess all about her head.

"Did you two break up?" I asked as softly as I could.

She sighed. "No,"

"What?" I yelled. "Why not?"

"I dunno," She slumped her shoulders. "I just can't bring myself to call it off,"

I stared at the far wall. "I hate to see you unhappy, Gin. Maybe it's time. All you two do is fight,"

She looked up at me angrily. "That's not true! We do a lot of things!"

I held up my hands defensively. "Okay! I'm just saying that you should be with someone who makes you happy," I smiled weakly at her.

She put her face in her hands, making her hair fall down around her like a scarlet curtain. "I know,"

* * *

I went to bed that night thinking about what I told Ginny. I was so jealous of Ron and Lavender, although I'd never admit it, but some times I wondered if Ron and I would actually be happy together. Maybe he and Lavender really were perfect for each other, even though they discuss everyone else. Maybe I should be happy for them instead of being mad at Ron all the time.

But that also made me wonder if I would ever have anyone like that. There's someone for everyone is a lie. My aunt never married. Neither did Filtch, or Dumbledor, or McGonagall, or Snape, as far as I know. If there was no one for them, maybe there's no one for me.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, don't hate me, I know there's no Dramione happening in this one, but I needed to do this so you kind of understood what was going on with each character. I promise there will be Dramione soon! Sorry for the short chapter, I'll try to make them longer in the future.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I love your reviews so much so please just tell me what you think! I want to know if you hate it or love it or kinda like it or meh or if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm doing something right or pretty much anything!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	3. Broom Cupboard

**Broom Cupboard **

I raked my fingers through my hair. This was wrong! This was all wrong! The potion is supposed to be green, not black! It's supposed to be lightly bubbling, not boiling! I was doing everything the book said, how come nothing was coming out right?! I looked back at the book. It said to cut the Sopophorous bean into three equal slices. With a shaking hand, I picked up my ruler and measured the bean carefully. Then, with a careful hand, I sliced it as equally as I could and then added the sliced bean to the potion.

Nothing happened.

Nothing.

I looked up, confused and shaken. Professor Slughorn was smiling at us brightly from behind his cluttered desk. I looked around tentatively, hoping that everyone else was having the same problems as me.

Ron was stabbing his beans furiously and turning bright red. Pansy was sweating over the cauldron, he black hair falling down into her eyes while she stirred the the potion over and over. The girl next to me looked scared and lost while she peered into the cauldron, her short fuzzy hair was a mess on her head and her hand was on her forehead. Malfoy was looking boredly between his book and his potion. He seemed to have given up. And Neville was paying no attention to his cauldron at all. Instead, he was looking at Harry.

With surprise and anger, I realized that Harry's potion was perfect. It was a perfect blue-green, with yellow puffs of steam rising into the air, and it was lazily bubbling like it was no problem. He was easily stirring in a clockwise manner and looking pleasantly at his book, oblivious to the eyes on him. I looked from my potion to his. What was Harry doing right that all of us were doing wrong? For two weeks he's been top in potions while the rest of us struggled to get a P!

It wasn't fair! Harry never studied and some how he was still doing better than everyone. It wasn't like this last year, or the year before. I hated to think it, but maybe Professor Slughorn was giving Harry special treatment. But that couldn't be. Maybe Harry was one of his favorites, but Slughorn had invited more than just Harry to his Christmas party. I'd think he'd treat everyone invited, superiorly as well, and I sure wasn't getting extra help.

_Ding!_

Great. Class was over and my potion was no where near done. Slughorn stood up and cleared his throat.

"Right!" he said. "If you'd all stop working on your potions now, I'll come and grade them,"

He started at the far table where a group of Slytherins were.

"Good," I heard him say while I frantically tried to finish mine. "The colour is off a lot, but the texture is perfect. I think an A for you, Peters,"

_One pinch of powdered Mandrake, but no less._

I added it quickly, trying to make sure it was exactly one pinch. The potion hissed. I looked around sheepishly to make sure Slughorn hadn't heard, but he was frowning at Neville's cauldron, which was spitting red liquid everywhere and puffing out heavy black smoke.

_Stir clockwise three times and then counterclockwise five times and __immediately turn off the flame._

By the time I was done stirring, Slughorn was looking wide eyed at Harry's.

"Mr. Potter!" he exclaimed while Harry beamed. "This is the best I've seen so far! Amazing! Absolutely perfect!" I frowned hard and slammed my book shut. It wasn't going to help me anyway. And my potion was now only greyish-green. "This deserves an O, definitely!"

Harry looked smugly in my direction. I wanted to take my potion and dump it over his head right then.

"Miss Granger," Slughorn said, coming around to my table. He eyed my potion for a while and then dumped his finger in it and rubbed the grey-green between his index and thumb for a moment. "Good work. The colour is almost there. The texture is spot on and the steam is almost exactly sunflower yellow! An E, for sure!"

I furrowed my brow. "An E?" I said in disappointment. "But sir, I followed all the instructions perfectly!" I whined.

"I'm sure you did," Slughorn said, frowning. "But as you can see by looking at Mr. Potter's, it is not completely correct. I'm sorry Miss Granger, but my grading is an E. Perhaps you would prefer an A, or a P?"

I bent my head. "No, sir,"

Then Slughorn left me to sulk and went to grade other student's potions. I listened carefully to the other grades. No one except Harry got an O. I guess everyone's was pretty horrible, some even got grades as low as a D. So what was Harry's secret?

When all the potions had been graded, and almost everyone thoroughly displeased, Slughorn dismissed us and we filed out of the doorway to our next class.

I turned right down the hall and toward Ancient Runes, which wasn't a favorite among most, so the hallway was fairly empty. I used the lack of students to let my anger play across my face and whisper a few insults toward potions in general.

I kept my head bent and my hair over my face so that if anyone did happen down this hall, they wouldn't see much. My knuckles turned white from holding my books too tight. Blast Harry! He made us all look like fools! But I can't be mad at him, I'm already mad at Ron. I don't know if I can handle being angry at two people at once.

My steps were fast, but apparently not fast enough. As I was walking by a broom cupboard, there was a rough tug on my arm and then I was no longer in the hall.

I was too surprised to cry out or fight against whomever had a hold of me. I blinked for a second against the sudden darkness before I realized what had happened.

My back was up against the cold stone wall and my shoulders were being pushed back by strong hands to keep me in place. I reached out and shoved whoever was in front of me. My hands hit the bottom of their chest and I could feel their ribs, even through the robes. There was a grunt as they stumbled back and I fished for my wand.

Before I could get it out of my pocket, they slammed into me again, causing my head to hit the wall hard. I let out a small whimper of pain.

"Who's there?" I said forcefully. "What do you want?"

"I thought I told you not to tell anyone," they hissed. That voice was unmistakably Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" I said, squinting through the darkness around us.

"Who'd you tell, Granger?" He said. I felt his cool breath on my face and realized that we were way too close. _Way _too close.

"No one," I wrinkled up my nose and tried to push him away again. He just slammed my shoulders back into the wall. "Let me go!" I yelled.

"Who. Did. You. Tell?" he grit his teeth. I could just imagine his eyes turning icy.

"Why do you think I told anyone?" I spat and pushed against his chest, hoping he was weak enough that it would give. He only seemed to move closer.

"Because Potter's been following me around like a lost puppy!" his grip on my shoulders tightened, making me squirm underneath him. I could feel his nails digging into my skin through my robes. That was going to leave a mark. "Now, who else knows?"

My eyes widened. "He is?" I asked in disbelief, my arms slacking a little. Harry was following Malfoy, that was news to me. I knew he didn't trust Malfoy, but he had yet to tell me he was stalking him.

"Answer my fucking question," his face was so close to mine that our noses were almost touching. I could feel it's presence in the air just before my face. I could probably bite the pointy thing off if I really needed to.

"I didn't tell anyone!" I yelled. "Now shove off, Malfoy. I'm going to be late for class!" I pushed against his chest again, but he still wouldn't budge.

It was silent for a moment, like he was thinking. His hands were still on my shoulders, but his fingers weren't digging into my skin anymore. I could smell his musky cologne lightly. It smelled expensive. But more, I could smell his breath, which was tinged with peppermint and still dusting my face.

I stared hard at the place I thought his face was, just in case he could see me.

Then, after minutes of deafness, he quietly asked a question that struck me funny. "Why?" was what he said.

Again it was quiet for a moment. I really couldn't think of what to say so I asked him, "What?"

"Why?" He said louder.

I don't know. Why didn't I tell anyone? "Maybe I'm not as low as you think I am, Malfoy," I answered. "Can I go now?" I wiggled again.

"One more question," He whispered. His voice was close to my ear and his breath was on my neck now. "Why did you stay?"

I held my breath. Good question. Honestly, I was still trying to figure that out myself. And I had no witty comeback, so I answered with what I thought was the truth. "Because you needed someone," I whispered. "Because you felt alone and hurt and you needed someone who wasn't going to ask questions, or start a conversation, or bother you. And that was me,"

His breath was back on my face, but he didn't say anything. I could feel his eyes trying to look at me. I closed mine and leaned against the wall willingly. My arms fell to my sides, giving up on pushing him away.

Each time his breath cascaded down my face I felt more and more numb. I forgot about classes for a minute and just let what I said weigh on both of us.

Gradually, the weight of his hands on my shoulders lessened until they were completely gone and it was cool there without his body heat. Then his breath left and I heard the door open and close, allowing a small splash of light to hit my lids briefly. He was gone. I could breath.

* * *

The rest of my day wasn't quite so eventful. I was late for Ancient Runes, which never happens, and on top of that, I couldn't focus on anything. I was hardly able to jot down the homework before my mind ran to other things.

Had Harry really been following Malfoy?

Why was Harry following Malfoy?

What was going through Malfoy's head right now?

What was going through his mind back in the broom cupboard?

Had anyone seen us? That would be embarrassing.

"Hermione?" someone was saying. "Hermione? Hermione!"

I jumped and shook my head. I was in the Gryffindor common room with my face in a book. When did I get here? I couldn't remember really anything passed Ancient Runes.

I sighed when I realized who was standing in front of me. None other than Cormac McLaggen, who couldn't seem to get the message that I wasn't into him.

"I'm busy, Cormac," I said, burying my face back in my book and willing him to leave. Instead he sat down, way too close, and draped his arm around my shoulders. I cringed.

"Are you now?" he asked, leaning in to look at my book, which I blocked by holding it closer to my face.

"Yes," I scooted down the sofa as far as I could, but it didn't take long for him to follow. What a creep. "So if you don't mind..."

He chuckled, but didn't move. Then his face started moving to the side of my head and I froze in fear. He'd better not. I shivered when his nose lightly brushed the shell of my ear and his hot breath moved the little hairs.

"It's upside down," he whispered.

My face turned red as I realized for the first time that my book was indeed, upside down. I turned it around as quickly as I could and tried to find where I last remembered reading as to help myself ignore Cormac, but I couldn't even remember starting the book at all. What was this about anyway?

Then I felt teeth. Cormac was running his teeth along my ear. I stood up quickly, knocking his face with my shoulder, although I wish I had done it harder.

"I'm going to dinner," I said, loudly and quickly. My face was burning, a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"I'll walk you there," he stood up and put his hand on my waist.

"NO!" I said too quickly and practically running away from his hand toward the girls' dormitories. "I mean, I have to put some things away, you go on ahead,"

He put a hand on his hip and ran the other through his short curls. "It's okay, I'll wait," he said.

"Please," I practically begged. "Just go on without me!"

"Shh..." he hushed, walking over to me. I backed up and stood on the stairs so that he couldn't reach me. "I'll wait,"

I rolled my eyes and whipped around. I marched up the stairs and angrily plopped down on my bed. Looked like I wasn't going to supper, because not even Amortentia would make me want to walk to the Great Hall with him.

* * *

After ten minutes of blankly staring at the ceiling, my mind had traveled to the same things I had been thinking about all day. I even forgot that Cormac was downstairs waiting for me, until I heard his voice waft up the stairs like a bad odor.

"Hermione? Are you alright?"

I held my breath, hoping that if he didn't hear a reply, he'd just go away. But five seconds later his voice pierced my ears again.

"Hermione?!" he yelled. "I'm coming up!" there was a moment or silence and then a loud crash as the stairs turned to a shoot and Cormac fell. I giggled silently at the thought of him landing on his ignorant behind. "Never mind," he called.

Then another voice rang throughout the common room. It was higher and there was a definite tone of sass to it.

"Hermione?!" Ginny yelled.

I heard Cormac murmur something to her and she said something back. I covered my face with my hands and tried to understand what they were saying. It just sounded a lot like whale calls to me, but angry ones.

Pretty soon, Ginny came marching up the stairs and into the dormitory. Her hair was flying and her face was red, but she looked rather proud of herself.

"Come on!" she said while pulling me up. "Let's go eat,"

"But, Cormac is down there! He's waiting for me, and it's disgusting!"

"Hermione Jean!" she scolded. "I would have thought you knew how to get rid of him!"

"Ginny!" I yelled back in the same tone. "I don't want to get detention!"

She simply smirked at me in reply and raised her eyebrow.

"Anyway," she grabbed my wrist and pulled me from the bed. "You don't have to worry about him anymore,"

I raised an eyebrow at her, but let her pull me along. "Why? What did you do?"

She thought for a moment while we walked down the stairs and into the common room. Cormac was nowhere to be seen. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I may or may not have sent him to the hospitable wing," she said shyly.

"Oh, Ginny! What did you do to him?" my eyes grew and I studied her carefully. She was joking right? Please tell me she was joking! I'd rather not have her be expelled. She was my only _girl_ friend.

"I didn't do anything!" she said defensively.

I frowned at her. "Then where is Cormac?" I was confused now.

She opened the portrait hole and pulled me out. When we were in the hall she turned to me.

"I sent him to the hospitable wing. Now don't worry about it! Let's go eat, Harry's waiting,"

Before I could tell her how much trouble she could be in for whatever she did to Cormac, she was pulling me quickly down the stairs and I didn't have time to speak.

* * *

The first thing I noticed when we arrived in the Great Hall was the large gap around Ron and Lavender at the Gryffindor table. The second thing I noticed was that the two were in another snogging session. I narrowed my eyes and groaned at them.

"You like Ron, don't you," Ginny said.

I jumped. "No!" I said. Too quickly.

She smirked at me knowingly while my face went two shades darker than her hair. "While everyone else is disgusted by their constant snogging, you get angry," she wiggled her eyebrows.

I sighed. "Okay, I used to like Ron," I admitted. "But not anymore, no offence, but he's a git,"

She giggled. "He is a git," We walked passed the Slytherin and Hufflepuff tables. "But I know how you can upset Ron as much as he's upsetting you," She said slyly.

I raised my eyebrows. "How?"

"Take Cormac to Slughorn's party," she said, flatly.

"No way!" I yelled. I would never be caught dead with Cormac.

"No, but think about it!" Ginny pried. "It would piss off Ron soooo much! He hates Cormac more than you do!" she laughed at the thought.

Even I giggled a little at the thought of Ron's face turning bright red with anger. "I'll think about it,"

* * *

**A/N: Okay! Here you are! Make sure to let me know what you're thinking in the reviews! Especially if you have any questions!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	4. Alone

**Alone**

I slammed one of my heavy books that I was carrying into the bookshelf. Then I marched quickly and angrily to put away the next. Harry was following behind me.

"I'm perfectly fine with Ron dating who ever he likes!" I said, a little too loudly for the library. I got a couple nasty looks, which I promptly ignored.

"Then tell me who you're taking to Slughorn's party!" he insisted for the hundredth time. He was convinced that I was taking someone just to make Ron mad because I didn't like who he was dating. Well, he was right, but I wasn't going to let him know.

"It's a surprise," I shoved another book in the shelf.

I was angry at Ron again. I was angry at him a lot lately, but just for stupid things. Everything about him was annoying for some reason. They way he ate, walked, talked, laughed, blinked, breathed, everything! I couldn't stand him sometimes. And Lavender only added to it. It wasn't that I hated her for going out with Ron, it's that it was annoying that Ron was going out with her. Gah! I could punch him some times for just itching his head!

"Anyway," I turned to face Harry and changed the conversation. "It's you we have to worry about,"

He raised his eyebrows and put a hand on his chest. "Me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Right," I confirmed. "You have really got to be careful. There's been rumors that girls are trying to slip you love potions,"

He smirked and straitened up. "So?" he asked smugly.

I looked at him in shock. "So?! They're only doing it because they think you're 'The Chosen One',"

"But I am the chosen one!" he snickered.

I smacked his arm with one of my books.

"Okay, sorry! I'll take someone I like," he said.

"Who?" I asked suspiciously. I hoped he knew Ginny was already taking Dean.

"It's a surprise!" he mocked.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, we're going to be late to Potions," I grabbed his arm and yanked him from the Library.

* * *

"Ronald, could you please stop snogging Lavender for one moment so we can finish the assignment?" I was trying really hard not to shout.

Harry, Ron, and I were in the Gryffindor Common Room, finishing up a Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment together. Of coarse Ron had insisted on working with Lavender, and neither Harry, or I said anything, in fear of coming across as rude. But this was getting a little ridiculous. Every time Ron said something halfway intelligent, Lavender lunged at him with praises and cooing and lots and lots of snogging.

They broke apart at my words. From the dirty looks I got, I knew this would end in a fight.

"I'm sorry," Lavender said, her words dripping with sarcasm and her brows raised. "Are we bothering you?" She cocked her head to the side, questioningly.

I almost laughed at the stupid question. My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "Ya, a bit," _Don't get angry. Don't get angry._ I didn't think I could handle another emotional night right then.

"Then perhaps you should finish the assignment somewhere else," Lavender shot and crossed her arms at me.

It was all I could do not to reach out and slap her. I clenched my teeth and curled my fist, I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep calm. I looked at Ron, hoping he would take my side and say something to his girlfriend. Instead, he mimicked Harry's movements of looking between Lavender and me, although Harry seemed more frightened.

I was so angry that I could feel tears come to my eyes. _Don't get angry. Don't get angry. _"Perhaps you and Ronald should find somewhere else to snog!" I practically shrieked.

"Won-Won and I don't have to go anywhere!" she replied in horror. "We have just as much right to be here as you do!"

I couldn't stop my jaw from hitting the floor. This girl was impossible! And Ron was making it worse by saying absolutely nothing to her. How could he just sit by and let his best friend be insulted like this? Maybe I wasn't his best friend anymore. Maybe I wasn't his friend at all.

I looked helplessly between Lavender's smug face and Ron's blank one. My blood boiled and my face became hot.

"Fine," I finally said. Grabbing my books and parchment and throwing them into my bag, I stood up. "Carry on with the disgusting act of cramming your tongues down each other's esophagus, while I do something that will actually help me succeed in life," I huffed, slinging my back fiercely over my shoulder.

Giving a last look at Lavender's smug face, I turned on my heal and marched toward the portrait hole. Before I could even reach the handle, there were angry tears on my face.

I slammed the portrait shut behind me without a second glance and ran. For a while, I wasn't sure were I was going, I just knew I had to get away from them. It was after hours, but I was too clouded with hurt and loathing to care.

My feet pounded loudly in the halls and on the stairs. I should have gotten caught, but I didn't.

My vision was blurred from tears and the torches' odd shadows on the walls. I felt so betrayed. I thought Ron was my friend. Yet he did nothing! Of course Harry said nothing either, but it was _Ron's girlfriend!_

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the miraculous Room Of Requirement doors. I reached up to yank them open, but stopped with my hand resting on the cool metal.

I racked my memory. Had these doors already been here? Or had they just appeared now? Great. I couldn't remember! I didn't want a repeat of what happened the last time I flung open the doors without thinking. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember. I had just been too focused on my anger and hurt to notice.

I turned my head sharply to the right. Panic bubbled in my stomach. There was someone coming, their footsteps were echoing softly off the walls, but they were moving fast.

I didn't have time to think. I pulled open the door quietly and slipped inside. It didn't matter if anyone was inside now, Hermione Granger could _not _get a detention.

My eyes widened when I turned around in awe. I'd never seen this version of the Room before. It was amazing. There were heaps and piles and stacks of everything under the sun here. It must have been the place someone went when they needed to hide something. It seemed right. I needed somewhere to hide, so here was the Room. My fear dialed down, assuming that this Room was for me.

I ran over to a dusty pink armchair next to a table full of trinkets and plopped down. I curled my legs up and rested my head on my knees. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself, but I couldn't stop the tears from soaking my jeans. I took deep, shaky breaths, but nothing helped. All my life, I had been told to go away in some form, no one at school wanted me around. I had hoped I'd never have to hear it from my best friend.

I listened to the noises the room was making. There was a fluttering and a soft dripping. Every once in a while a cricket somewhere would chirp. But I blocked out these sound and focused on a whirring noise, like wind through a small gap. The constant noise was calming, and it wasn't too loud or too soft.

And then there was a click, like something settling somewhere in the room, but I ignored it. I kept my eyes closed and focused more on the whirring, hoping that maybe I could fall asleep so I could forget about this for awhile, I could finish my homework later.

"Granger? What the hell-"

I looked up quickly with my heart beating fast. Great. Just what I needed. Malfoy to come put me down some more.

But he stopped mid sentence when I looked at him. He seemed almost frightened or startled. His wide grey eyes darted nervously from my face to something far behind me. I wiped at my eyes until they were raw. I didn't trust Malfoy enough to see me like this.

He stared at my face, still startled, for awhile before he seemed to try to regain himself.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" His words were harsh, but I could have swore that I heard a dash of concern.

I blinked in response. I didn't know whether or no to be upset. He frowned at my face, his golden brows falling low over his eyes and the side of his nose crinkled in confusion. For a moment, I had an odd sense of deja vu. It reminded me of the first night in the Room, except it had been I who had found Malfoy like this.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, still harsh. "Why aren't you with Potter and Weasley?"

Again, I couldn't hold back the tears when he spat out Ron's name. Why wasn't I with him? Why wasn't I with my friends? Why were none of them here with me?

I put my face in my hands so Malfoy couldn't see. I felt so weak, especially in front of him.

Through my fingers, I saw him tentatively look around, as though he was worried someone else was here. He was no longer frowning, but he looked terrified. He let out a deep breath and ran a spidery hand through his platinum hair. And then, he took a step toward me.

And then another.

And another.

Until he was standing right beside me.

I didn't raise my head as he sat down on the arm of the chair and let out another deep breath. I didn't stop crying quietly either. My fingers were moist of the tears and my cheeks felt raw where my palms had been rubbing them. I took deep, shaky breaths to stop myself from sobbing aloud.

Malfoy looked around again, and then down at me. I could feel his gaze, whether it was angry or not, burning into my face, but I refused to look at him. I refused to let him see me like this.

"Okay Granger," he said quietly, and widely differently from his earlier tone. "What's wrong?"

This surprised me enough to look up at him. He was making fun of me, right? But when my eyes gazed over his face, I saw nothing but sincerity.

I frowned at him. "What?" I asked in disbelief. He couldn't really be interested in what was bothering me.

He moved a bit so that he was facing me better. His legs dangled off the front of the plush chair's arm. He folded his arms over his knees and leaned into them a little. His stormy eyes seemed sad. Maybe he was sad to be talking to me, or sad from his own problems, or sad because I was sad. Any way, it was a bit unnerving.

"What's hurting you?" he said.

I frowned harder. "Why do you care?" I realized how mean it sounded too late.

He raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. "I don't. But you stayed when I was like this, so... I guess.. this is repaying you,"

I almost laughed, but not because I thought it was funny. "I don't want your repayment, Malfoy,"

He pursed his lips. "Fine then," he stood up. "I'll just go ," he walked toward the door.

I felt more and more empty with every step he took away. And colder, like he was my heat source. Oh Merlin, what was I doing? I jumped up from my chair. "Wait!" I shouted and he stopped. I took a step forward.

Slowly, he turned to look at me. His expression was the same, but now his eyebrows were raised again.

I stared at him for a while before I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

I took a deep breath. "I just..." I stuttered, unsure of what I wanted him to know. I just knew I wanted him to stay, I couldn't be by myself. "I feel... so alone," I admitted.

Something softened in his eyes when I said that. I continued as he took a step toward me. "I feel like I can't talk to anyone or tell anyone what's _really _going on. I don't think they would understand. And I'm tired of being alone!" I cried and wiped furiously at my face, angry that I couldn't control my own tears. Malfoy took another step to me and we were standing toe to toe without really touching. I looked in his eyes and saw that he was trying to hold back tears too. I saw that some how, he knew exactly what I was saying. "I'm tired of Ron, and I'm tired of Lavender! I'm tired of people pushing me down," there was a flicker of regret in his eyes when I said this. "I don't know what to do anymore! And no one understands!"

His jaw quivered and his uneven breathing cascaded over my face like tiny gusts of wind. "I understand," He breathed.

I frowned through my tears. How could Malfoy possibly understand what a 'Mudblood' was going through?

"I know exactly what that feels like," His breath was shaking uncontrollably. He looked so sincere, I think I might have believed him.

Before I knew what was happening, before I had time to react, Malfoy bent his head and I closed my eyes. He pushed his lips on to mine and moved them slowly and gently. My tears slithered down my face and moistened our lips.

Right then, I didn't care that I was kissing Draco Malfoy. I just knew that what was happening didn't make me feel alone. Somehow, this told me that he did know exactly how I was feeling.

I kissed him back. I couldn't help it. We moved together, comforting each other, slowly and passionately. But we didn't touch each other. He didn't reach up and cup my cheek like in romance novels or films. I didn't put my hands around his back. Because we didn't do this for fun or because we could, we did this because we needed it. Because we needed not to be alone.

And then, all too soon, he pulled away and the comfort was over. His eyes were wide, scared, and full of tears. His mouth was open slightly, like he couldn't believe what he'd just done.

"Oh fuck," he whispered and backed away slowly. I stared back at him, too shocked for words. What the hell had I just done? "Oh fuck!" he repeated, mimicking my own thoughts.

With terror in both our eyes, he turned and ran out the door without a second glance.

With the heavy click of the door, everything came rushing back. Except now, I had to deal with what just happened, and I didn't even know what that was. And I had to deal with it alone.

I feel back into the chair and cried myself to sleep. And when I woke up the next morning, I woke up alone.

That's what it was like the rest of the day. I was surrounded by hundreds of students and no one to talk to. I could tell Ginny about Ron and Lavender, but I already knew what she would say. So I think it's time I try things Ginny's way. I'm going to ask Cormac to Slughorn's party. And I'm going to hate every minute of it.

* * *

**A/N: Ugh! This one is shorter too! Sorry! **

**It may seem like there is a lot of crying and anger in this so far. Yup. **

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**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	5. In Motion

**In Motion**

I slumped into the seat next to Harry and across from Ginny at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Everything hurt. My body was cramped from sleeping in a chair all night, the constant chatter of students over their breakfasts pierced my inner ears like daggers, and the light and sight of Ron and Lavender a few feet away stung my eyes.

"You look horrible," Ginny remarked as I took a piece of toast and ran the edge along my lips.

"Thanks," I replied groggily.

My mouth opened to take a bite of the toast, but I snapped it shut quickly. Even the thought of eating something almost made me sick. I tentatively placed the toast on my plate, hoping that neither Harry nor Ginny would notice my lack of appetite.

"Did something happen?" Ginny asked, leaning forward to get a better look at my face, which I was trying to hide by bending my head and letting my hair fall down.

I shot a glance at Ron and Lavender and then over at the Slytherin table, but could find Malfoy. I wanted to see his face and for him to see me so that maybe I would know what exactly happened.

Harry answered her for me in my silence. "Hermione and Lavender had a row last night," he whispered, as though he was afraid that I would hear and cause a scene.

Ginny raised her brows in surprise at Harry and me. "Lavender?" she asked. "So Ron didn't do anything?"

Harry shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"That's the problem," I mumbled while picking at the corner of my toast. "He just sat there and let her say everything. He didn't even try to defend me,"

"Ooh!" Ginny snarled. "I'll beat his arse! Or better yet, I'll have Fred and George do it!" she dug her nails into the wood of the table and furrowed her brow, her eyes flashing.

"No, no," I said calmly with my cheek in my hand. "I already know what I'm going to do,"

Her and Harry's eyebrows shot up for a moment, until Ginny must have realized what I meant and started giggling.

"So, you're gonna do it?" she asked through a smirk.

"What?" Harry asked, very confused. "Do what?"

"Oh yes," I said, ignoring him and trying to make it sound like no big deal. "Ronald added the last straw last night,"

"Excellent!" Ginny exclaimed rather evilly. "When? Can I be there?"

"I don't know," I said thoughtfully while Harry was looking very confused between us. "I don't want everyone to know, I'll probably just do it alone,"

Ginny slumped a little at this, but she was still smirking wildly. "Is someone going to tell me what 'it' is?" Harry practically yelled.

"Nope," Ginny jeered.

I hid my smile from his frustrated face by looking down and picking at my toast again. This had lightened my mood, and perhaps some of the dark circles under my eyes, but my stomach still twisted in knots when ever I thought about one of three things. Ron, Cormac, and Malfoy.

* * *

I flared my nostrils and breathed heavily in disgust. I tried to focus on what Snape was saying, but his voice was so monotone and it didn't help that every time I turned my head I caught Cormac's eye.

Cormac tilted his chin toward me and bit his lip in what I think was suppose to be a seductive manner. It just made me want to hurl. I gave him a flirtatious smile, reminding myself that this was necessary in getting back at Ron. He smirked back at me, clearly pleased with himself. I had Cormac wrapped so tightly around the finger, all I had to do know was tell him he was going to Slughorn's party with me and he'd jump at it.

"-And I want you to write a two page essay on them by Friday," Snape was saying. I jotted this down quickly and then picked up my books as he dismissed the class.

I took a deep breath while filing out the door with the other students, making sure that I was one of the first out so that I could grab Cormac in the hall. This was the part I'd been dreading. Also the part I'd been avoiding for two days. But with Slughorn's party this weekend, I didn't have much time to waist.

I slipped away from the main herd and leaned against the wall to the right of the door, the way I knew Cormac took. Clutching my books close to my chest, I watched carefully for him to emerge. When he finally did, he was smirking and looking arrogant as ever.

"Cormac," I said, summoning up my Gryffindor courage, but it wasn't like I really needed to. As soon as he'd spotted me he swaggered right over.

"Hey Hermione," he said, getting way too close. I honestly don't think he has any respect for personal space.

I backed away a little while still trying to look like I was interested. I already had planned out how I was going to say. I wanted it to sound sincere enough that anyone around would think it was real (if they believed it, Ron would believe it), but I also knew I didn't need to put in much effort.

"Umm-" I said, jumping when he placed his hand on the wall right next to my face. He smelled like too much cologne.

"This is about Slughorn's party, isn't it?" he said as though reading my thoughts. "I was wondering when you would ask me," what a cocky git. "I've already been asked once you know," he gave me a toothy grin when I frowned. "But I was saving my yes for you,"

I almost groaned at his attempt at flattery. Somehow he always managed to brag about himself, even when he was paying someone else a compliment.

"So you'll go then?" I asked, even though I was sure I already knew the answer.

He gave a cheesy grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows. "I'll meet you in the Common Room, Friday night at seven,"

"Okay," I said, trying to smile, but it was more of a grimace.

I slipped away from him and practically ran from the blue eyes that I knew were following me all the way. I rounded the corner quickly to get away from his gaze and promptly cringed for two reasons. One of those reasons was Malfoy making his way down the hall.

As soon as he saw me he stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. I walked quickly after him. We needed to talk about what had happened, as much as I didn't want to. I couldn't take the awkward glances in classes anymore. I'd try to meet his eye as if I could search for an explanation in them, but he would always turn away. And it was killing me that I didn't know what could have possibly happened to Malfoy to make him kiss a 'mudblood' of all people.

"Malfoy!" I called after him, receiving odd glances from passerby in the hall.

He proceeded to make his way quickly down the hall as though he'd never heard me.

"Malfoy!" I growled again as he marched around the corner. I was not going to let him get away without an explanation.

I rounded the corner after him and ran headlong into his chest.

"Oof!" I stumbled back. Clearly I hadn't been expecting him to actually wait for me.

He glared down at me ferociously. "Bloody hell, Granger!" he growled. "What do you want,"

I straitened myself and righted the books in my arms. "I want you to explain yourself. That's all," I demanded.

The frown left his features for a moment, but quickly returned. "I don't know what you're talking about," he sniffed.

"I think you do," I preyed. "I don't believe it's something you easily forget,"

He flared his nostrils and pressed his lips together. His face was paler than usual and he looked even thinner than the first time I noticed it. "I'm trying to forget, so leave me alone," he said between clenched teeth and then turned around to walk away.

I followed after him quickly, still not satisfied with his answer. "You need to talk about it," I insisted.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk to you. Go away," he tried to shake me by walking faster, but I tailed him easily.

"But I want to talk about it. I want to know why that happened,"

"Go away, Granger!" he growled back.

"No," I replied flatly. "Not until I get an answer,"

He looked around nervously before spinning around and shoving my back hard against the wall, taking me by surprise.

"What do you want me to say?" he whispered angrily. His nose was wrinkled in a snarl and his lips were curled, showing his perfect teeth. "That I did it because I felt sorry for you? Or because I can't stand myself? Or because I'm slowly going insane?" his voice was growing louder and I was thanking my lucky stars that the other two people in the hall were too busy hurrying to class to notice. "I don't know why the hell I did it, okay?! I wish I did," he admitted. "I wish I knew, because then I might not be feeling like all of the above are true,"

He was quiet. I was scared to breathe. His breath was hitting my face heavily and he was shaking slightly. "Is that answer good enough?" he whispered.

I nodded, still too shocked to speak.

He backed away and ran his hand through his hair. I couldn't understand why he'd be feeling like what he'd said was true. None of it made sense for Malfoy, but the one that really stuck out to me was when he said he couldn't stand himself. The Malfoys were always self-indulging people. And they had some reason to be. They were wealthy, powerful, smart, cunning, things that many people would love to have. So why had the Malfoy standing in front of me admitted that he couldn't stand himself? Was the cruelty of him and his family finally catching up with him?

"Is that all you want?" he asked me, board.

"Harry thinks you're hiding something," I blurted, thinking about the time Malfoy had told me that Harry'd been following him and the time Harry had tried to convince Ron and me that Malfoy was a Deatheater on the train ride to Hogwarts at the beginning of the year.

He sneered. "Figures," he snarled. "Potter's always sticking his nose in everyone else's business,"

I chose to ignore his insult toward Harry. "Is he right?" I asked instead.

Malfoy watched me for a moment and then straitened the collar on his robes and turned around to walk briskly away without saying a word, giving me all of an answer I needed.

I turned away and walked just as quickly down the hall. I had free period now and for once, I wasn't going to use it to study. So Harry had been right. Malfoy was hiding something, whether it be a Darkmark on his arm or something totally different, and I was going to find out what it was.

As I made my way down the hall my thoughts kept flashing to our last night together in the Room Of Requirement. Malfoy had been glancing nervously at something behind me, probably hoping that I wouldn't turn around and see it. But what was it? Were had his eyes been wandering?

When I reached the spot in the wall that the door should be I tried to remember what I'd been thinking about that night. What was something you would need that would summon that room?

_I need to know what Malfoy's hiding._ I thought, but nothing happened. The wall stayed solid stone.

I remembered all the piles of lost things in the room. _I need somewhere to loose something._

To my surprise, the door did form at this, the iron designs rising out of the stone like they were rising to the surface of a lake. I grabbed the handle eagerly and swung open the mighty doors. And then stopped. This wasn't the room I needed. Instead of piles of rubbish, there was a large dark circular chasm in the floor that seemed to go down forever.

I took a tentative step forward to gawk at the wonder and then shut the doors to try again.

I closed my eyes and focused, facing the wall.

_I need-_

_"_Ms. Granger!" Slughorn's excited voice pierced my thoughts.

"Professor!" I said, turning to face him and match his happy tone.

"Are you all ready for the party in two days?" he asked gleefully, walking over to where I stood.

"Just about," I said. I still needed to ask Ginny if she had some flats I could barrow, I'm sure she did.

"Are you bringing anyone special?" he sang.

I groaned internally. Oh yea, he was special. "Yes, sir. I'm bringing Cormac McLaggen,"

"McLaggen..." Slughorn said thoughtfully. "I thought you might take Ralph. You two are always together,"

I took me a second to realized that Ralph was Ron. "No," I said. "Ronald and I are hardly friends right now,"

The smile left his face. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that," he said.

"Don't be," I smiled.

He chuckled a bit and pat his stomach. "Would you like to join me, I was just going for a stroll,"

"Thank you, sir, but I need to get some homework finished," I said a little too quickly.

"Oh, well that's alright. I'll see you at the party,"

I smiled kindly, not bothering to tell him that he would also see me in class tomorrow. Slughorn continued to stand where he was, leaving me no choice but to head to the library anyway.

* * *

That evening at dinner in the Great Hall I told Ginny that our plan was in motion. She squealed with excitement.

"What plan?" Harry asked agitated. He hated not knowing what was going on.

"Who are you taking to Slughorn's party?" Ginny asked him to change the conversation.

"I don't know," Harry said sheepishly and looking down at his plate. "I haven't asked them yet. Who are you taking?"

I felt bad for him. I'm sure he wanted badly to ask Ginny, but she'd probably think it was a joke. Not to be mean, but because she legitimately would think he was joking.

"Dean," she said. "If he doesn't manage to piss me off before then," she added while shoveling potatoes into her mouth.

I could count on that he would. And I could count on that she would bring him anyway.

"That reminds me," I said pushing around the peas on my plate with my fork. I still wasn't too hungry. "Do you have any flats I could borrow for the party, Gin?"

She put her finger on her chin in thought. "Probably. What colour do you need?"

I thought of the dark green colour of the simple dress I'd picked out. "Black or green, I think,"

"I'll see what I can do!" Ginny smiled.

* * *

"Will these work?" Ginny held up a pair of plain black flats with bows on the toes.

"Perfect!" I said, reaching for them and slipping them on my feet. "Merilin, you have tiny feet!" I exclaimed while trying to cram my foot in. She shrugged and I enlarged them to more my size. "That's better, thanks,"

"No problem. So how did you ask Cormac?"

"I didn't have to ask," I laughed. "The vane peacock practically asked himself for me!"

She rolled her eyes. "At least it's sure to get at Ron. Should I tell him?"

"Nah," I said. "just wait, he'll hear about it from Harry soon after the party,"

She nodded and I checked my watch as other girls started to swarm into the room. "I think I better work on some homework and then get to bed," I said.

She nodded again. "Good night,"

"Good night,"

I headed back to the Common Room to finish my homework there, but quickly decided against it upon spotting Ron, Lavender, and a very uncomfortable looking Harry. I growled mentally at Ron. I really hoped Cormac tick him off a lot.

* * *

**A/N: It's September 1st! Another year begins at Hogwarts! How was your ride on the express? What house are you all in? If you haven't gone to your sorting ceremony yet, tonight is a great time to do it (on pottermore .com)!**

**How was the chapter? Let me know in the reviews!**

Saphire **\- Ahh, well, waffles are still good any time of day!**

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**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	6. Hold My Hand

**Hold My Hand**

I checked the clock in the Gryffindor Common Room again. Seven fifteen. Where was Cormac? Of coarse it would be just like him to be fashionably late, but no matter how 'fashionably' it was, it made me anxious and jumpy.

I smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles on my dark green dress and bounced on my toes. If he didn't show up soon I'd have to just leave without him.

The portrait hole swung open, but who enter wasn't Cormac. I sighed as Ron and Lavender bounced in. Lavender and I eyed each other harshly.

"What are you doing dressed like that?" Ron asked me, rather rudely.

I puffed out my chest and lifted my chin. "Slughorn's Christmas party is tonight, Ronald."

He tipped his head back and eyed me.

"Then what are you doing here?" Lavender asked.

"Waiting for my date," I said proudly.

She snorted. "_You _got a date to Slughorn's party?"

"In fact, I did,"

"Then who is it?" Ron asked with just as much disbelief in his voice.

I curled my fist and tried not to grimace while saying his name. "Cormac McLaggan."

Ron's mouth dropped nearly to the floor. His face went beat red, but he tried to hide it by standing up strait and looking me in the eye. "You can't go with McLaggan!" he hollered.

Just then, the portrait hole swung open and Cormac sauntered in, smiling wide and looking particularly smug in his dress robes. I strode over to him and unwillingly linked arms.

"Watch me," I shot at Ron and then pulled Cormac swiftly from the Common Room.

We stumbled into the hall and I let go of his arm as soon as the portrait was shut tightly.

"Hermione!" Cormac said, looking me up and down as I walked briskly toward the party. The sooner we got there the better. "You look just as wonderful as me tonight!"

I rolled my eyes and shot a fake smile of thanks toward him, noting that this was as close as Cormac would get to giving someone a compliment.

I marched us down the halls, and after the third right turn, I was sure we were going the wrong way. Slughorn's party was in his office, but the potion master's office was in a different place this year than before, and I wasn't certain on how to get there.

"Hermione, I don't believe this is the right way," Cormac said carefully behind me.

Even as thick as he was he could tell I was flustered and not to be tampered with at the moment.

"I know, Cormac," I huffed.

I stormed around a corner, hearing music and voices coming from that direction. Down the hall was a splash of colour against the grey of the stones. There was music floating around it and smells of treats and sweets were wafting out. Finally.

I started fast walking, almost jogging, toward it, when suddenly I could no longer move. Cormac crashed into me from behind with an 'oof' and soon found himself trapped as well. It was like someone had glued our feet to the floor.

"What the-" Cormac said, desperately trying to lift his foot.

I managed to turn and look for whomever would have put some sort of sticking charm on the floor, but no one seemed to be lurking nearby.

Just then, a cackling Peeves came barreling around the corner and hovered, in hysterics, next to us.

"Uh oh!" he exclaimed. "Someone's caught under the mistletoe!"

Cormac and I glanced up. Sure enough, there was a small bundle of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling directly above us.

"Peeves!" I yelled at the poltergeist. "Did you put that there?"

He put a hand over his translucent chest like he was offended I would accuse him of such actions, but chuckled none the less.

"Of coarse not! Silly Hermy!" he slowly circled us and giggled.

I tried to move my foot again, but it was as stuck as ever.

"How come we can't move?" Cormac asked.

Peeves giggled evilly and rubbed is hands together. "_Stuck forever like a prince as a frog until the the two of you have a good snog!"_ he sang gleefully.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. It was not in my plan to ever kiss Cormac. Ever. He, however, was looking rather pleased, but he seemed to be trying to hide it.

"We have to kiss then?" Cormac asked.

"No!" I said, trying to rip my feet out of the flats, but even my toes were rooted to the spot. "Peeves! Let us go!" I was furious now.

Peeves laughed at my struggles. "Nope, nope, nope!" he bounced up and down and make smooching noises.

My face was flushed and I was panting from my exertions.

"Come on," Cormac said. "Just a little kiss."

I glared at him. "Cormac, I swear if you tell anyone-"

His lips were suddenly on mine. If he had stopped there, it would have been fine, but he went way farther than 'just a little kiss'. He seemed to think that my lips were three times bigger than they actually were and he was pushing down hard, trying to force his tongue in my mouth, which I kept promptly shut.

"LOOK! LOOK!" Peeves shouted. "GRANGER AND McLAGGEN ARE SMOOCHING!"

I ripped away from Cormac and stumbled backward, now free from the charms around the mistletoe. My face was flaming from embarrassment and anger. Peeves took one look at me and then shot down the hall and out of sight, cackling all the way.

I flared my nostrils, turned on my heel, and marched briskly to the party, leaving Cormac behind.

I tried not to look at anyone when I arrived. With my head down I ran to the back and ducked underneath the thin decorative curtains. I desperately tried to straiten my dress and right my hair, all the while rubbing the back of my hand over my mouth, still unable to get the feeling of Cormac's slimy tongue off.

I watched the crowed outside carefully for signs of Cormac. Perhaps that's why I was so startled when Harry suddenly appeared beside me.

"Harry!" I said breathlessly.

"Hermione, what happened to you?" he asked, eyeing my disheveled appearance.

"Oh, it's nothing," I said. "I just left Cormac under the mistletoe," I blushed.

"Cormac?!" he exclaimed. "That's who you brought?"

"I thought it would annoy Ron the most!" I explained. "He's a dreadful kisser!"

Harry laughed, even though I didn't think it was that funny. I glanced back out and saw Cormac's unmistakable smug face searching for me in the crowd. He must have recognized my silhouette behind the curtain because he started heading that way.

"Oh God, here he comes!" I moaned.

Shooting Harry an apologetic look, I ducked back out just as Cormac came in the other side. I weaved through the bodies, thinking I'd had enough excitement for tonight, and headed toward the door. As I left, I was thinking I might head to the Room of Requirement and see if I could get it to show me what Malfoy was hiding when the person of my thoughts was pushed passed me and through the door by a very excited Filch.

Malfoy glared hard at me as he passed and then shouted at Flich, silencing the whole party. "Get off me, you filthy Squib!" he struggled against Filch's firm, bony grip on Malfoy's shirt.

I didn't have time to stick around and hear all the trouble Malfoy had gotten himself into, Cormac was heading this way quickly.

"Found this one mucking about in the halls," I heard Filch say as I dashed out and slinked down the halls.

I headed strait for the Room of Requirement. If Malfoy had been wondering the halls perhaps he'd come from or was headed to the Room. And hopefully it hadn't changed yet.

* * *

Several minutes later, I was standing in front of the wall where the brass doors of the Room of Requirement should have been. I sighed and touched the stones, tracing the grooves with my fingers. This was pointless. I'd might as well just let Harry do his usual poking around and let him figure out what Malfoy's up to.

"God damn it, Granger!"

I spun around to see Malfoy, looking very angry and rather annoyed.

"Don't you ever leave this place?" he spat.

"I want to know what you're hiding," I said truthfully, not that I thought it would actually get me anywhere.

"No you don't," he took a step closer.

"So you _are_ hiding something?" I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

He flared his nostrils and huffed.

"What were you doing in the halls tonight?" I asked, his features darkening more.

"That's none of your business, is it?" he asked.

"This is my school too, Malfoy. I want to make sure my friends are safe here."

He almost laughed, but his face stayed indifferent. "Potty and Weasel have nothing to worry about."

"What about you?" I asked. "When was the last time you ate?" noting his thin and frail frame. "When was the last time you slept?"

He seemed taken aback at my question. For a moment he just looked surprised at me, then he said, "That isn't any of your concern."

I looked at him sadly, pitying him almost. "What have you done, Malfoy?" I asked, shaking my head. "What have you done to yourself?"

His features lightened slightly, but he continued to glare at me. Finally, he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "You want to know?" his voice was shaking slightly like he was trying hard to hold back tears. "Fine! I'll show you!" he spat.

To my surprise he began walking back and forth in front of the wall. The brass doors rose out of the stone, which he promptly threw open and hurried in, not waiting to see if I was following him.

It was the same room as our last encounter with each other was, like I had suspected it would be. I carefully followed him to the back, around piles of forgotten furniture and knick-knacks. I felt for my wand under my dress, just in case, although I didn't think he would try anything.

Malfoy stopped in front of something large and covered in a white sheet. He turned to face me, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I noticed again, how sunken and dark the circles around his eyes were.

"If it's possible," he said. "you will hate me even more after I show you this."

I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. I didn't bother to tell him that I didn't hate him, there were very few people actually that I did hate.

"And, you can't tell anyone," he continued. "Not even Potter and Weasly. You would only be jeopardizing their lives and your's if you did. Swear that you won't tell anyone," he opened his eyes and looked directly at me.

Now I was a little frightened to see what was under the sheet, but never the less, I looked right back into his pale grey eyes and croaked, "I promise."

Taking another deep breath, he pulled off the sheet to reveal a large triangular shaped cabinet. He pulled open one of the two doors on the front so I could see a dark, bare inside.

"This is a vanishing cabinet," he said. "It's broken. I'm mending it."

I frowned. "What's so bad about that?"

"When I'm finished, it will be used to sneak Death Eaters in. They're making me do it," he looked down at his hands like they were covered in mud and he was disgusted by himself.

"Tell Dumbledore!" I exclaimed. It seemed that was the obvious decision.

He shook his head, making albino hair fall into his face. "I can't. You-Know-Who will kill my parents. This is the only way to protect them."

I felt sorry for him. I knew he must have been going through a lot.

"But Dumbledore can get them and protect them and you," I insisted.

"You don't understand!" he yelled. "He'll manage to find them, if he doesn't have them already just waiting for me to fail so He can finish them off!"

The silence following was deafening, only broken by the occasional whir or thud from somewhere in the room. I swallowed hard, watching him lean his forehead against the cabinet and take deep, shaking breaths.

"Then what can _I _do?" I asked quietly.

He slumped down to the floor and leaned his back against the cabinet. His eyes closed and for a moment it almost looked like he was sleeping if not for what he said next.

"Hold my hand," he whispered, so quietly I almost didn't hear.

I stood dumbfounded for a moment. Then, without thinking, I slid down next to him and picked his hand up off his knee and held it. His pale skin was smooth and creamy and soft. I closed my eyes like he was and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

His stiff fingers seemed to relax with every breath he took until they were sitting limply and comfortably in my hand. Somehow, we both managed to fall asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for taking so long! No, I haven't given up! I just got real caught up with my non-fanfiction writing and didn't have time to write more for this. Honestly, you guys are too patient! If I ever do something like this again you need to bombard with PMs so that I get a move on! **

**Okay, what did you think? It may seem like their relationship is moving a bit fast, but I have reasons why there were some pretty bold moves happening (remember how Draco kissed her and then they didn't talk for days, it's going to be shaky and confusing like that). Sorry for the shortness of this one, too! I wanted to get it up quickly, that's why there might also be some mistakes!**

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews on last chapter! Keep them coming please!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**

**P.S! Check out my Tumblr account! (Link on my profile) That is where I will post Harry Potter fanart (you can send me your's via email (email on my profile)) and updates on my stories on FF (like when I plan on posting the next chapter and stuff like that) if I get enough followers! **


	7. Break

**Break**

When I woke up the next morning I was a bit dazed. A cricket was chirping loudly close by, and for a moment I thought I had fallen asleep outside. That's when I felt something warm adjust in my hand. I opened my eyes and found myself looking at Draco Malfoy's sleeping face. It didn't look like he was having a very pleasant dream. His eyebrows were low on his forehead and his hand kept twitching in mine, squeezing rather hard and angrily at times.

I checked my watch and realized that it was quite early. It must have been the uncomfortable sleeping position that I was in that woke me at five o'clock.

I wasn't sure if I should leave or not. I looked down at our clasped hands and tried to very carefully pry mine from his without him waking, but it seemed that the harder I pulled, the tighter he held.

In a few hours students would be filling the halls and heading to breakfast before boarding the Hogwarts Express in the afternoon and heading home for the holidays. Surprisingly, I still hadn't fully decided whether or not I was going home. I had my bags packed and I had owled my parents earlier, telling them to expect me, but I also knew that I could unpack, and send an owl saying I couldn't come just as easily.

If I didn't leave soon I would have a hard time explaining why I was still in my dress from last night. Then I remembered where I was. Perhaps if I just thought really hard about a change of clothes the Room would provide them for me.

I closed my eyes in order to concentrate better and wound up falling back asleep. When I woke back up Malfoy was also awake. I watched him through my lashes so that he wouldn't notice. He looked much better after a full nights rest, but it would take awhile before the dark circles completely disappeared. He was looking down at our hands, but other than the occasional flick from his eyelids, he was completely motionless.

Groaning, like I was just waking up, I stretched and felt him drop my hand. I opened my eyes all the way and saw his pale face, marked with something like terror and confusion. Standing up, I saw that the room had granted my request for a change of clothes; a pair of jeans and a jumper were folded neatly on a random night stand.

I grabbed the clothes and started walking around a large pile of rubbish to change, away from Malfoy's eyes.

"What are you doing?" he finally croaked out.

I stopped and turned to answer him. "Changing," I said simply.

He didn't do anything else, so stepped behind the pile and quickly slipped out of my dress and into the more casual clothes.

When I came back around, Malfoy was using his wand to cover the cabinet back up with the sheet.

"Are you going home for the holidays?" I asked him out of general curiosity. I wondered what 'home' was like for Malfoy. Was it even a home or just a house?

He gave a fake, breathy laugh. "Even if I wanted to go back to the Manor, no one would want me there. Not unless I came with news that this was fixed," he gestured to the cabinet.

"I'm going to visit my parents," I said when he didn't go on. "I would go to the Weasleys', but Ron and I aren't exactly on friendly terms."

He didn't look at me. "I don't care were you go, as long as you don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

I watched him check that everything was in place. Then he walked past me without a glance and out the door.

"Happy Christmas!" I managed, before the door snapped shut.

* * *

After I'd checked for the hundredth time that I had everything packed, I went to lunch, where Harry had some very exciting news and Ginny was in hysteria.

"I did it, Hermione!" she sobbed. "I broke it off with Dean!"

"Oh, Ginny! I'm sorry!" I said, sympathetically patting her shoulder.

"No, no," she wiped her eyes and straitened up. "I'm fine. You were right, all we do is fight. After Slughorn's party, we went up to the Common Room where Seamus had snuck in some Firewhisky and Butterbeers. Dean and the rest of the boys stayed up real late playing drinking games and by four o'clock this morning Dean was hammered and was sloshing around. He went to grab _another_ shot when I told him to stop and go to bed. He got furious and started yelling about-" she choked. "Never mind. Anyway, how did the plan go last night?"

I rolled my eyes and Harry snickered. "Well, it sure managed to get Ron and Lavender worked up, but I cannot _stand_ to be anywhere near Cormac."

"Still, plan accomplished!" Ginny said triumphantly. "Did you two even make it to the party?"

Harry choked on his water. I ignored him. "I guess you could say that."

"Speaking of the party," Said Harry, managing to regain himself. "Snape was there. He told me that Dumbledore was traveling."

"Traveling?" asked Ginny. "For what? Where?"

"He wouldn't say. And after Malfoy crashed the party, I heard them taking in the hall,"

I raised my eyebrows and glanced along the Slytherin table. Malfoy wasn't there.

"I couldn't hear all of it. Snape wanted to help him with something and Malfoy insisted he could do it himself."

"What do think it was?" I asked. Although, I was certain I already knew.

"I don't know. But this is almost proof, Hermione. Malfoy's become a Death Eater!"

I rolled my eyes. "This proves nothing, Harry! Did either of them actually say that?"

He huffed. "No."

"All right then."

We went back to picking at our food. Was Snape trying to help Malfoy, or was he one of the people forcing him? I couldn't understand why Malfoy wouldn't accept help if it was offered to him. Probably too proud. Then how was I suppose to explain to myself what happened last night? Again?

The task was obviously taking a toll on Malfoy. Last night was probably the first time he'd slept in days, and who knows when he ate last. He was skipping meals again, I noticed. And when he did show up, he just played with his food and sulked.

Surprisingly, the state of his health was making me anxious. The more I looked at his empty spot at the Slytherin table, the more fidgety I got. I thought about him wasting away over the holidays in the Room of Requirement.

I jumped up suddenly, startling Harry and Ginny.

"I just remembered! I need to go to Hogsmead, I forgot to buy something!" I gasped.

I stumbled out of my seat and hurried away before either of them could say anything.

I _was_ going to Hogsmead, but not because I forgot to buy something. I had just _thought_ of something too buy.

* * *

I went to Honeydukes and bought a bag of treats quickly. I didn't have anything to wrap them in so I left them in the paper bag.

The train was due to leave at eleven and it was already ten forty five. I had to make this quick.

I ran back into the school and headed strait for the seventh floor, but I passed the portrait of The Fat Lady, instead making my way to the bare stretch of hallway in the back.

With Harry, Ron, and Ginny all leaving for the holidays there were very few people who would be left that knew how to work the Room of Requirement. And I knew one of those people was Malfoy.

I dropped my things in front of the wall and hurriedly took out a quill and bottle of ink. I scribbled Draco Malfoy's initials on the paper bag of sweets and then slid it into the more shady corner of the wall, were hopefully only Malfoy would see it.

He would be too greedy not to look at the bag, but whether or not he actually ate what I gave him I had no idea. At least I'd tried.

I ran back to the Gryffindor Common Room where I met Ginny and grabbed my trunk. We hastily boarded the train and found a compartment all to ourselves. I would have gladly sat with Harry, but Ron had managed to pry himself from Lavender long enough to ride to London with him.

"You should talk to Ron," Ginny told me, about a half an hour later.

I snorted.

"He's not with Lavender. Now would be a great time to at least talk to him and Harry about-," she paused and leaned in. "Something's wrong with Harry," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I heard girls in his Potions Class talking about how he was the only one getting high marks. And he keeps carrying around that ratty book everywhere. I bet he even sleeps with it."

She was right. Harry was the only one getting high marks. And he was carrying around the torn potions book everywhere. _And reading it._ Which wasn't something I thought Ron nor Harry did very often.

"I'm just worried," she added. "I know how dangerous old books can be."

I nodded, remembering the incident in my second year. "Okay. I'll see if I can talk to them."

I slid open the compartment door and shimmied into the hall. Checking in the compartments for Harry and Ron, I finally found them about halfway down the train. But when I went to slide open their door, I noticed something written in the condensation on the glass. It was a heart. And inside it where the initials RW and LB.

Harry and Ron were both looking at me, however Harry looked more sorry than Ron. I took a deep breath and straitened up. Then I turned on my heel, and very dignified, walked away. But I only just made it out of their view before I broke down. I hid my tears behind my shirt sleeves and hurried to the toilet. I couldn't take it any more. This feud that Ron and I had, over I wasn't even sure what anymore, was causing me to loose one of my best friends.

I rinsed my face under the water and composed myself in the mirror. I decided that when we came back from break I would try to treat Ron as though Lavender wasn't there. Which would be hard considering that they were both practically attached at the lips, but at least I would try.

* * *

When the Hogwarts Express pulled onto platform 9 3/4 almost all of the school poured out and ran to meet the kin that was waiting for them. My parents were waving enthusiastically at me from next to the Weasleys.

I greeted Mr and Mrs. Weasley, gave each of my parents a quick hug, and then hurried them out before any awkward exchanges would be made between Ron and me. I knew I would have to embrace the awkwardness some time, just not now.

When we got home I help my parents decorate our Christmas tree and put up tinsel and holly. Then we sat by the fire with steaming cups of coco and I told them about my classes and they told me about their work and it started to snow big, fat, lazy snowflakes, and it was all beautiful.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! Sorry. I know it's been awhile. Again. I've just been busy with my other writing and work and art and stuff. **

**Than you, Jane Glass for telling me to get a move on! I appreciated that. And thanks to everyone who commented on last chapter. I know this one's short again (ugh!), but it would be wonderful you reviewed anyway!**

**Sorry about grammar mistakes, I'm sure there's some, I wanted this up tonight so I didn't get to reread it a ton.**

**With love, **

**Wren Gebel**


	8. The Half Blood Prince

**The Half Blood Prince**

The weeks following the return to Hogwarts from break were quite pleasant ones. The sun came out and shone brightly, melting a considerable amount of snow, although I was sure it wouldn't be long before the remaining flurries of winter blew in and covered everything in snow one final time.

A sign had been hung outside the Great Hall announcing the apparation lessons which would begin on February first. I was looking forward to finally learning to apparate. Of course I'd read all about it. It sounded like it would be rather tricky and potentially painful at first, but with practice there were many advantages to apparation.

After returning to Hogwarts, I immediately checked for the bag of treats I'd left Malfoy before break outside of the Room of Requirement. There was no trace that the sweets had been anywhere near the Room, but whether Malfoy or Filtch got them was a mystery.

Speaking of Malfoy, I hadn't seen a trace of him anywhere either in the two weeks since break. He wasn't in Potions class or Transfiguration. Malfoy was someone who wouldn't be told what to do, but he also wasn't one to skip classes. I couldn't help but wonder if he was in the Hospitable wing from undernourishment or sleep deprivation.

However, the answer to my unspoken question came sooner than I had expected. And certainly not in the way I expected.

I was walking to the Gryffindor Common Room for my study period to grab a few of my books before heading to the library.

No sooner had I reached the painting of The Fat Lady and she asked for the password, I was whipped around forcefully and shoved with my back on the painting by none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy what-" I was going to be angry and shove him off just as forcefully, but I stopped. His eyes were more bloodshot than usual and they were brimmed with tears.

"God damn it, Granger! I asked you- begged you- not to tell anyone," he said between grit teeth.

"I didn't tell anyone!" I insisted.

"Then how the hell does Potter know?"

"Harry doesn't know anything," I said, trying to make him believe me. "all he knows is that Snape wants to help. He said something about an unbreakable vow?"

Malfoy relaxed his grip and glanced down, relieved. "Well, he managed to figure out that I've been in the Room of Requirement," he sighed. "How does he know about Snape anyway?"

"The night of the party, he followed you and Snape after you left," I said, reluctant to rat on Harry. "But I don't know how he knows about you being in the Room. He probably saw you come out or something."

"Do you mind?" The Fat Lady in the painting asked, annoyed.

Malfoy glared at her and pulled me off the painting and around the corner.

"You're not having any luck with the cabinet, are you?" I asked, noticing that he was still thin and frail. Part of me was glad that the cabinet was going nowhere and part of me wanted it fixed for Malfoy and his family's sake.

He looked away from me again.

"There's still time for you to tell Dumbledore!" I pried.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again I could see that he was tearing up again.

"You need to eat," I said, changing the subject. "Did you get the sweets I left you?"

"Yes," he said reluctantly.

"You didn't eat them?" I asked, although I hadn't really expected him to eat them anyway.

"I tried. I try to eat at meals too. Nothing stays down," he confessed.

It was then, I think, that I fully realized how much this was really stressing him out. I had to do something. My Gryffindor instincts kicked in with the need to help.

"Let me help you," I insisted. "I'll make some potions or bring you some food or something."

He shook his head and backed away. "You've helped enough already, Granger."

I took a step forward defiantly. "No I haven't. I'm going to make you eat, Draco Malfoy!" I shrieked.

He looked taken aback at my use of his full name and my sudden determination.

I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "Look. I don't like you. I _really _don't like you," I said, wrestling to keep his eye contact. "You've made my life hell for the past five years. But that doesn't mean I hate you. And it definitely doesn't mean I want to see you suffer. So, let me help you or- or-" I tried to think of a threat that would actually work. "-I'll tell Harry."

He glared at me. His nostrils flared and his nose crinkled up.

"I fucking hate you, Granger," he fumed.

"No you don't," I said smugly.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't hate," he spat back.

I just shook my head and frowned at him, already contemplating what potions I could get my hands on that would help him eat better. I don't know why I was doing it. Pity, maybe? Or perhaps defiance. That was probably it.

Malfoy gave me an angered once over with a sneer on his face and then stalked off.

* * *

In the Common Room that evening, Ginny gave me some startling news.

"Dean and I are back together!" she squealed.

Harry looked crestfallen and was making an effort not to look at her.

"Oh, Gin!" I said. I thought I had already convinced her that she and Dean weren't right together.

"No, Hermione." she said quickly. "I'm making the right decision. Please don't try and tell me differently."

I snapped my mouth shut and, with an effort, said nothing.

"We had a good long talk," Ginny continued. "Everything is okay now."

I sighed, but kept my silence.

Harry took out a book and bent over it on the sofa, something I didn't often see him do.

I leaned forward and was able to make out that it was our Potions book, but this was that ratty one Harry couldn't tear himself away from.

"Harry? Is that our Potions book?" I asked him, thinking that I could maybe get a better look at it and look up some potions for Malfoy at the same time. "Do you mind if I barrow it for a moment? I need to look up this one potion and I left mine on my bed."

He looked up and subconsciously wrapped is arms over the book to block it from my view.

"Well... er... it's rather fragile," he said nervously.

"That's alright," I held out my hand. "I'll be careful."

He stood up quickly and his face went ashen.

Ginny stood up too. "Harry, give me the book," Ginny said firmly.

We were starting to attract the attention of the other Gryffindors in the room. Even Ron was looking our way.

"I think I'll just go to bed," Harry made a move for the stairs.

But before he could take one step, Ginny lashed out and swiped the book from his hand in one swift movement.

"Hey-!" Harry yelled, grabbing at the book as Ginny kept her back to him.

She cracked it open and scanned the page with her eyes.

"Who's the Half Blood Prince?" she asked after a moment.

Harry stopped fighting for the book. Ron had made his way over now. _Nosey little-. _I had to remind myself that I was trying to be civil with him.

"The Bloody What?" Ron asked.

Harry looked frightened and extremely guilty.

"The Half Blood Prince," Ginny corrected him. "It says right here," she pointed to the page where 'Property of The Half Blood Prince' was scrawled. "Is this how you're suddenly so good at potions, Harry?" she flipped through the moth-eaten pages, allowing me to see scribbles, drawings, and hand-written notes in the margins of almost every page.

Harry made a hesitated move and then snatched the book from Ginny's hand. I watched him, hoping he would elaborate, but he scampered up the stairs to the boy's Dormitory and out of sight, mumbling, "It's nothing," as he went.

I gave Ginny a worried look, who in turn raised an eyebrow at Ron and I.

"He's _always_ with that book," Ron whispered to us.

The rest of the Common Room turned their attention back to their own devices.

"He even sleeps with it under his pillow," Ron continued. "And once, when he was reading it in bed, he made me levitate! Just by _reading_ the bloody thing!"

I didn't know who the Half Blood Prince was, but he sounded like a dangerous bloke. So I decided that there was only one thing to do; find out who the Half Blood Prince was, and there was only one way to do that; go to the library. My system for figuring things out hadn't failed me yet and I doubted it would fail me now.

* * *

My system was definitely failing me.

Two weeks of tireless searching, and the library seemed to have absolutely nothing on the Half Blood Prince. Not one mention in _Hogwarts: A History_. There was nothing in _Fabulously Famous Witches and Wizards of the Last Fifty_ _Centuries._ And still no evidence what so ever in _The Dark Book of Dangerous Dark Wizards _or many others for that matter.

It was like the Half Blood Prince never existed.

On a brighter note, I found a simple potion that could cure stomach sickness and hopefully get Malfoy eating again.

He was still missing classes, skipping meals, and when he did show up, he looked like death warmed over.

I just needed to get the ingredients and find time to make it. It wouldn't be that hard to convince Slughorn that I wanted to make the stomach sickness potion for extra credit, so I decided to ask to use the Potions room after classes on Thursday, and like I had predicted, he said it would be marvelous._  
_

On Friday I had the potion bottled and ready for use, the only problem being how I would get it to Malfoy and how I would make him take it. I decided to wait for him outside of the Room of Requirement that night after appariation lessons.

I announced loudly to the Common Room that I was going to the library to study, and as I expected, no one batted an eye or volunteered to come with me.

And I wasn't lying. I did go to the library because I did need to study. But I couldn't concentrate. The flask of stomach sickness potion was burning a hole through my pocket and my mind kept wandering to ways I could make Malfoy drink it.

Shutting my book, I decided to do something I very rarely did; visit the kitchens.

I made my way quickly down the hall toward the painting of fruit and wasted no time in extending a finger to tickle the pear. The green fruit squealed with delight and the painting swung forward, opening up to dozens of House Elves who were hustling to and fro, washing pots and pans, handing food from one to another, and already beginning to plan tomorrow morning's breakfast.

My nostrils flared as I stepped into the kitchen. I still wasn't convince that the Elves could actually enjoy a life like this, but I was only greeted with scowls from each House Elf who seemed to remember my attempts of my S.P.E.W. campaign back in fourth year.

"Miss Granger," an older House Elf had stepped forward and bowed in front of me.

"Hello," I said, putting on a kind face and trying to ignore his bow.

"What can Knacky get you, miss?" he asked, still in a deep bow.

"I just came to see if you had anything extra from the feast," I said politely.

He stood up strait. "Of course, miss!" and he scampered off to grab a few dishes.

Meanwhile, I stood waiting and trying to keep myself from helping every House Elf that passed. But when a small elf with a particularly heavy looking pot stumbled past, it was only Knacky coming back with a paper sack full of food that stopped me from running forward and taking the pot from the elf.

I took the bag, said thanks, and left before I did something stupid.

* * *

After waiting _forever_ for Malfoy outside of the Room of Requirement, I decided that it was getting too late for me. It was creeping around twelve o'clock and I was starting to wonder if he would go to the Room at all that night.

I magicked a piece of parchment and a quill, deciding to leave everything for when he got there, it worked okay last time.

_Here is a stomach sickness tonic and some food from the feast, which I noticed you were missing from. _I wrote. Feeling that I needed to add a close, I said: _Don't make me cram it down your throat._

I didn't sign my name, I had a feeling he would know who it was from anyway, plus, if anyone else found it I didn't need them asking me questions.

And then I left it there. All I could do was hope he'd take it, for my own peace of mind.

* * *

The next day was Saturday, but I woke up early anyway so I could inhale some breakfast and then spend as much of the day as I could in the Library looking for evidence of the Half Blood Prince.

I was the only one up when I awoke, because, like normal people on Saturdays, the rest of the Gryffindors were sleeping in.

I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and attempted to tame my hair before leaving through the portrait hole toward the Great Hall. However, something stopped me before I could take five steps.

That something was Draco Malfoy.

He was waiting around the corner with the bag in his hand and a scowl on his face.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes at his expression. What did I do now?

"Granger," he growled.

"Why are you always so angry when you talk to me?" I asked him. "You could at least _pretend _to appreciate my attempts of kindness."

He frowned with his mouth opened like he was about to retort but decided not to.

"I-" he said, cocking his head. "I was going to ask you to eat this with me."

* * *

**A/N: Howdy! Geez! I feel like I haven't written in forever! And I'm so sorry for that! This was a little shorter than I wanted it to be because I wanted to give you a longer one since you had to wait so long, but.**

**So, who's doing NaNoWriMo? I am! But I'm kinda cheating because I already started. (SHhh!) Anyway, here's to the upcoming sleepless nights and crying over our keyboards or notepads! Yeah!**

**Make sure to leave a comment!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	9. Dinner, Dinner, And Apparition Lessons

**Dinner, Dinner, And Apparition Lessons**

* * *

_He frowned with his mouth opened like he was about to retort but decided not to._

_"I-" he said, cocking his head. "I was going to ask you to eat this with me."_

* * *

I stared at him.

"Wha- what?" I stammered. Draco Malfoy did _not_ just ask me to eat with him.

He shook his head and ran a hand through his platinum hair.

"Never mind."

He pushed past me with a scowl on his face, muttering angrily to himself as he went.

"Wait!" I called after him.

He stopped, with his back still toward me and did what I said, waited.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I couldn't believe what I was about to say. "I will."

He stood there.

I watched his shoulders rise and fall with his breath. His long pale fingers curled around the brown paper bag and his white hair combed neatly against the base of his neck. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he just as surprised by my response as I was? Or did he not really care at all. I wondered what he would do if I just ran up and gave him a hug. He looked like he needed it. I wondered why I had thought about that at all.

"You don't have to," he said without turning around.

I took a step toward him, noticing how he turned his head ever so slightly when he heard my foot steps.

"I know I don't have to," I said. I walked slowly closer, feeling the pressure from the space between us tighten. "If I had to, I wouldn't do it."

I came up beside him and looked up to his face. His head barely turned my direction, but it was enough for me to see that his eyes were closed.

"But I want to."

* * *

We went to the Room of Requirement. It was the only place no one would find us.

The Room gave us a living room. A fire crackled on the right wall with a large maroon rug spread out in front of it. A love seat and two deep blue arm chairs circled a dark brown coffee table. Why it didn't just give us a dinning room, I had no idea, but the living room actually worked out quite nicely, and, as awkward as it was, it made it less awkward.

I took the armchair to the left and Malfoy sat across from me. Silently, he opened the paper bag and placed its contents on the coffee table carefully. I watched him look at the spread grimly.

"Take the tonic," I tried softly.

He picked up the small bottle and held it to his face to better see it. Turning it back and forth, he let the orange light from the fire catch the glass.

"It's not poison," I said lightly, maybe to make him smirk, but he didn't even blink when he glanced up at me and then back down at the potion in his hand.

He crawled his fingers up and uncorked the bottle. Then sniffed it carefully.

"I followed every step precisely. It won't kill you," he glanced at me again. "I promise," I added.

He tipped back the bottle and swallowed it all in one gulp. He sat there for just a few seconds and then his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed red and he suddenly looked so much more alive than he had before.

Picking up a piece of bread from the table, for good measure, he chewed and swallowed it tentatively and then waited.

After a few seconds, relief flashed through his stormy grey eyes and they came to rest on mine. He stared at me for a few seconds, and I stared back, not sure if he was going to thank me or hex me. Then the faintest of smiles broke through his thin lips. I couldn't help but smile myself. It had worked! I'd helped Malfoy eat again! And I didn't have to force feed him!

Quickly, he picked up another piece and tore it between his teeth. I watched him hungrily devour the food in front of him like he hadn't eaten for weeks, and maybe he hadn't. I thought that a thank-you would be nice, but this was Draco Malfoy I'd just helped. That smile was as close to thanks as he was going to give me.

We ate in silence. Or rather, he ate and I watched (leftover dinner wasn't exactly my favorite breakfast). When he was finished and all the food gone, we sat in awkward silence, staring at each other and practically daring the other to speak.

I listened to the fire snap and hiss, all the while trying to figure out the best way to leave without making the situation any more awkward.

"I still hate you, you know," Malfoy said suddenly. "This, and me telling you that stuff, and- before, doesn't change anything. I still hate you."

I looked at him, trying to think of something to say to that. Blinking a few times, I stood up, sighed, and went for the door. I couldn't imagine the situation would stay good if I stayed.

"That didn't mean you have to leave," he said quickly, standing up as well.

I smirked and shook my head, but stopped and turned around to look at him. That potion really worked wonders. Already he was starting to look more healthy.

"I want you to do something," I said. "I want you to insult me."

He looked quite taken aback. "You _want_ me to insult you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because if none of this mattered, and you really did hate me, you would still be able to put me down with just a few hateful words. So go on, insult me."

His lips parted slightly and he seemed to be holding his breath while eyeing me up and down. His eyes moved wildly around my face and hair and I stood with my arms folded, waiting for his best insult.

"Your..." he began and broke off.

"My...?" I prompted.

"Your hair... has a lot of curls."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "My hair has a lot of curls?" I huffed out between laughter. "Wow. That one hurt," I said sarcastically.

He pushed his bottom jaw out and flared his nostrils, his face went even redder than before.

I turned back to the door and placed my hand on the handle. "It's okay Malfoy, I hate you too."

I walked out of the Room and into a scene I really did not want to be in. For a split second, I though about turning around and heading right back into the Room.

Down the hall, Ginny and Dean were fighting like mad. Ginny's face was red and her eyes were wild with fury. And boy was she telling Dean off for something. His arms were spread out at his sides and he kept trying to yell over Ginny.

"I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO-!" Ginny shrieked. Her voice was thick like she was holding back tears.

"YOU DIDN'T SAY _ANYTHING_ ABOUT THE RED ONES!" Dean tried to yell over her.

I slinked forward. If I could just get to the portrait hole without them noticing...

"THE RED ONES ARE A PART OF IT! WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS ARE YOU!?

I stopped, mid stride, and stared open mouthed at Ginny. She was bent over and gushing tears now. I couldn't believe what she'd just said. I hadn't the foggiest what they were arguing about, but Dean must have screwed up pretty bad to make Ginny act like that.

Dean had stopped arguing too. He was watching Ginny in fear.

Then Ginny took off running. Right at me. My eyes got about as big as saucers and I quickly pressed myself against the wall so she could get past.

She didn't even glance at me. She ran strait past and right into the Room of Requirement.

"Malfoy," I whispered as I watched her rip the door open and storm inside.

I started after her, afraid she might actually rip Malfoy's face off in the state she was in just for the sheer fact of him happening to be there.

But when I reached for the handle, the door barged open of it's own accord, making me jump back quickly to avoid being hit. Malfoy ran out with his tail between his legs and the sound of glass smashing against the wall followed him. And before the door closed all the way, I heard Ginny scream into a pillow.

"What the hell is up her arse?" He asked while trying to pat his hair down and straiten his shirt.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I opened up the door, against my better judgement, to try to comfort Ginny.

"You trying to get yourself killed, Granger?"

Again, I ignored him.

Inside, Ginny was in hysterics. Her face was all red and shiny with tears and her hair was all over the place. She was lying on the love seat with a pillow over her face.

I sat down on the arm of the seat and waited for her to notice I was there. I wasn't good at comforting people. Being an only child and growing up in a muggle school where everyone thought you were a freak didn't give you much experience with heart broken friends.

"Hermione?" she croaked.

"Yeah?"

She didn't say anything.

The fire was still going in the hearth. On the floor next to it was a bunch of broken glass.

We sat there for a while in silence. The only reason I stayed was because I knew you weren't supposed to leave your friend alone when things like this happened, except when they asked you to. And I'm not even sure if you were supposed to then either.

"I'm a horrible person," Ginny finally said.

"No!" I gasped. "No, of course you're not. Why would you even say that?"

"Because I am. I never should have said that to Dean. Really. He was only trying to help and I just- I'm just- so frustrated!"

I let her vent. Honestly, the arguments she made still didn't make her seem like a bad person. Instead they practically screamed that she needed to break up with Dean, but for some reason, she couldn't hear that. To her, it must just sound like it was all her fault.

* * *

At lunch, I had to lie through my teeth to Harry, Ron, and Ginny as to why I wasn't at breakfast.

So I used the same lame excuse:

"Oh, I wasn't that hungry so I decided to get some research done in the Library."

It would have been totally believable too if Neville hadn't overheard.

"That's weird," he said. "I was there, too, looking up Snapping Poppies for Herbology, but I didn't see you."

"Probably not, Neville, I was in the restricted section for Slughorn," I hated lying to Neville. I hated lying in general, but lying to Neville was so easy and cruel, it was like taking candy from a baby.

"Oh," he shrugged.

"Didn't I see you outside the Gryffindor Common room?" Ginny asked.

_Crap. Crap crap crap crap._

"Ya, I was just..."

I glanced over at the Slytherin table and swelled with pride when I saw Malfoy there, looking cheerful and sucking mashed potatoes off his fork. I was proud of myself. I'd managed to force Draco Malfoy of all people to eat and I had brewed a perfect stomach sickness potion. Not many people could say they'd done all of that in the same week.

"...Heading back," I finished.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny both looked at me quizzically.

"Who's excited for Apparition lessons tonight?" I exclaimed, desperately trying to change the subject.

Ron, who had apparently found the decency to sit with us without constantly snogging Lavender, gave a whoop. "I've been waiting for Apparition lessons since I could ride a broom!"

"I can't wait until I'm of age and can Apparate from the Dursleys whenever I want," Harry said.

"Too bad you have a whole other year to wait, Gin," Ron teased her.

Ginny slumped. "Ya, ya, go ahead, rub it in. At least I can fly better than you, Ron."

Ron's face went purple. "Did you _see_ me last Quidditch match? I was amazing. If I recall, so many _Gryffindors_ were shouting 'Weasley is our king'."

"That's only because you thought Harry had put that potion in your drink. And the 'Weasley is our king' thing was probably for me anyway."

"They were saying _King_ not _Queen._"

"I'm above being specified into gender rolls."

Ron rolled his eyes.

Dean walked by just then, and Ginny stopped talking to duck her head toward her food. Both did very well in pretending the other wasn't there.

We all got pretty quiet. Harry was watching Ginny closely out of the corner of his eye as she aimlessly chewed her food and stared blankly at a spot on the table. Ron, meanwhile, had totally zoned in on his chicken and was devouring it in a way that reminded me of when he and Lavender kissed.

* * *

A/N: Sorry to interrupted, but at this point I would like to say that I don't really remember what the apparition lessons were like in the book, so I'll be making them up as best I can from memory. Please forgive me if I screw up. That's all. Continue on.

* * *

A ministry official named Wilkie Twycross was our instructor for our apparition classes. It was hard to describe what Mr. Twycross looked like because he seemed to be almost transparent. His hair was even lighter than Malfoy's and his skin was practically translucent. It was like he was made of the same material Harry's invisibility cloak was made of. And I was afraid to look away from him, in case I looked back and couldn't find where he was again.

About three or four dozen Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin sixth years were standing in rows in the Great Hall. Each student had a silver ring on the ground in front of them, just big enough to stand in.

"What do you suppose these rings are for?" Ron asked Harry and me as we waited for Twycross to finish making sure everyone was present.

"They're apparition points," I replied smartly.

"But why?"

"Gracious Ronald, you can't just apparate in and out of Hogwarts whenever you want! There's about a dozen charms protecting it," I said.

"Read that in _Hogwarts: A History_, did you?" he asked, more to Harry than to me, and they both chuckled while I scowled.

I wasn't about to admit that he was right.

"There are three D's of Apparition," Twycross said, taking to the front of them room and splitting the chatter. "Can anyone tell me what they are?" he asked.

I raised my hand.

"Of course she knows," I heard Ron whisper.

"Yes, Miss," Twycross looked down at his paper. "Granger?"

"Destination, Determination, and Deliberation," I said clearly.

"Very good!" he exclaimed.

I smiled proudly, even though I heard snorts from the Slytherin end of the room.

"Now," Twycross continued. "Apparition is a tricky mode of transportation in the Wizarding world. Focus is key. At the end of the whole lessons, you will be given a test. Those of you who get splinched, or leave a part of you behind-" There was a lot of wincing and ewwing at this. "-will have to take the test over again. So. Practice hard while your here and it shouldn't be a problem..."

The first lesson didn't last that long. Twycross told us a bit more about apparating, all of which I already knew, and then demonstrated a few times himself.

So the rest of the evening found us in the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry and Ron played wizard chess while I tried to finish an essay for Charms that was due next Friday.

Dean was there, joking with Seamus, which meant that Ginny was probably sulking in the dormitories. As far as I knew, they were still together, but it seemed neither of them were happy so I could only wonder why.

Watching Harry and Ron stressing over the chess game reminded me that I still didn't know anything about the Half Blood Prince yet. For some very strange, very unsettling reason, the thought, _maybe Malfoy would know_, popped into my head. Why would I think that? Why would I _think_ about asking Draco Malfoy for insight of any kind?_  
_

I scratch my eyebrow with the end of my quill and shook my head to clear my thoughts. Then I went back to trying to finish my essay. But then I started thinking about how Malfoy had said Harry was following him around. It had been awhile since Harry'd said anything about Malfoy being a deatheater or that he was up to something diabolical. It made me a little worried to think that he was at the heals of whatever Malfoy was doing. And it made me worried that it made me worried that Harry would catch him doing something horrible. To be honest, I didn't know whether I wanted Malfoy to be caught or not. And that made me worried too.

And it worried me that I was thinking about Malfoy so much lately. It worried me that I _snuck out_ to get him food and _lied_ to my potions professor and friends for him. And the fact that I liked seeing him happy at lunch today made me worried.

Also, I was worried about all my worrying.

I need to sleep, I decided, rolling up my parchment and putting away my quills. I need to sleep for a few decades. Maybe when I woke up then I wouldn't be so worried and I wouldn't be thinking about Draco Malfoy. But I knew, even if I really did fall asleep for years, I still would be.

* * *

**A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Because I think Halloween is the best holiday of the year, I decided to give you all a nice long chapter! And because most of you are probably out being social tonight and partying it up in your Harry Potter costumes (obviously) you probably won't read this until after Halloween. However, lucky for you, I have no social life so you have this to come home later to and enjoy! You're welcome.**

**Do you love Harry Potter?**

**Do you love writing?**

**Do you love fanfiction?**

**If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to check out the Hogwarts Writing Club Forum. The awesome people over there want to host writing contests, but they need more people to sign up. So, copy and paste this forum/Hogwarts-Writing-Club/159711/ to your url. (Make sure to take out the space between 'fanfiction' and '.net') You can back out any time if you want, so why not give it a try?**

**Please make my day with your comments! I love them!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	10. Everything Changes

**Everything Changes**

* * *

Ron's birthday was next week and I still didn't know what to get him. We were on much better terms now. He, himself, seemed to be getting a little tired of Lavender's constant snogging, but she didn't seem to get the message. For Christmas Lavender had gotten him this heart necklace that no doubt said something mushing a puke-worthy on it. She completely freaked out any time he wasn't wearing it, saying that he really didn't want to be with her anymore if he couldn't wear the necklace. So Ron would have to grovel and promise to wear it. It was a disgusting sight.

Maybe I could get him some reverse breath mints. That would keep Lavender at bay. Although, that would be more for my benefit than his.

I was currently in Apparition lessons, my fourth one so far. And I was quite good if I do say so myself. Our final test was next next Friday, on Ron's birthday so today was plainly for practice and questions if we had any.

Although I had been doing exceedingly well, tonight I couldn't focus if my life depended on it. Perhaps it had to do with Malfoy's staring problem.

At first, I thought he was angrily staring at Harry for following him around all the time, but after a while a began to suspect that it was I he was watching.

I tried staring back at him until he gave up and looked away, but it began to get odd and annoying to have to keep looking his direction. So I tried asking him with my eyes what he wanted.

Over the past couple of weeks, I had continued making him a tonic. The only reason I had to force in down his throat was because he was too proud to take it from me. But it worked wonders on him, it really did. He looked so much healthier now, no longer skin and bone, but however much the tonic helped with his ability to keep his meals down, it did nothing to help him sleep. And I could tell.

Dark rings still encircled his eyes and whenever I saw him in the halls it was like he was sleep walking from class to class.

That is, if he actually went to class. Sometimes, he would go days without showing up for class. He had to be failing almost everything.

We never talked. Not about what had happened between us so far this year, his absence in class, the cabinet, or even a simple "hi" as we passed. That was fine. I hated to think what other students would say if they saw an exchange. But apparently we had gotten to the point where we could exchange glances. In the halls, at meals, during class. They had to be quick though. Malfoy's eyes would have surely fallen out if he looked at me longer than two seconds.

So then how was he capable of looking at me so often tonight?

_What?! _ I raised my eyebrows at him and widened my eyes to question him.

He pretended not to see me and looked away.

That made me angrier than his staring, pretending not to.

I tried to apparate between apparition circles, but before long I felt his eyes on me again.

My cheeks turned red and I shot daggers at him. _Stop it!_

Again, he pretended not to notice by making a somewhat clumsy apparition between two hoops.

After class, I was going to corner him, in an empty hallway, and tell him to keep his eyes to himself. But before I could do that, he cornered me.

"We need to talk," he growled.

My heart jumped.

"No kidding," I retorted quietly.

I waved to Harry and Ron as if I was going to do some late night studying in the library and headed the same way Malfoy had just went.

We ended up inside an empty classroom where it was evident that Peeves had been trying to write nasty things on the chalk board. Malfoy was leaning against a desk with his arms crossed over his chest and watching me walk in and shut the door behind me.

I crossed my arms, too, to look more intimidating or something. I'm not really sure.

"What did I do wrong now?" I asked boredly. "Did I tell Harry again? Or maybe it was Ron this time?"

He smirked at me, making my breath catch. Why did it make me so happy to see Malfoy smile?

"I wanted to thank you. For before."

I jumped at his response. And then laughed because I didn't know what else to do. Was I finally about to get the thanks I deserved or was this a nasty trick?

"Come to your senses, have you? Finally realized that I was trying to help you?" I asked, shocked.

"Don't make a big deal out of this, Hermione I-" he stopped, looking as though he'd just seen Peeves overhead with a bucket of slime.

What he said finally caught up to me and my mouth fell open to my knees. My chest got warm and suddenly it seemed like the room was full of smoke, it was hard to breath.

He cleared his throat and tried to redeem what he'd said. "-Granger. I-"

But I didn't let him finish.

"Did you- did you just call me Hermione?" it was hard to get the words out. I felt suffocated. I'd never heard my first name pass his lips before and it sounded terrifying.

He turned white as chalk. He stood up strait and ran a nervous hand through his hair, looking anywhere but me.

"No. I said Granger," he said pointedly.

"No. Before that you said my first name," I insisted.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he swallowed hard.

It suddenly felt like my knees were going to buckle.

In attempt to distract myself, I laughed breathy. "You're able to look at me longer than two seconds, just thanked me, and called me by my fist name. And all in one night! What is the world coming to?"

He didn't seem to think that was too funny.

"It's alright," I said, looking at his ashen face. "You can call me Hermione, I don't mind. I like it," I added.

He cleared his throat again, looking like he was going to pass out, and then carried on as if he hadn't called me by my first name and I hadn't said it was okay. "Don't make a big deal out of this. I want to have breakfast with you again."

He said the last part so fast, I wasn't sure If I'd heard him right. So I kind of just stood there like an idiot for a minute.

"I'll supply the food this time?" he said weakly. "Just as a way to say thank you," he added meekly.

A smile cracked open on my lips.

"Is the potion really working _that_ well?" I asked him sarcastically.

"If you don't want to just say so!" he said suddenly, going a little pink in the cheeks.

The smile faded from my face and I dropped my arms. Now I felt bad.

"Of course I want to," I said quietly.

His face lightened.

"In the Room Of Requirement again?" I asked like it was no big deal. Like this was something that happened quite often.

Malfoy walked forward so that he was only about two feet away.

"Outside the Astronomy Tower," he said, unable to hold back his grin.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled slightly too.

"What time?"

"Seven o'clock. Don't be late or I won't wait for you."

"I'll be there at six thirty."

"Alright then."

We stared at each other for a minute. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

He nodded and kept watching me. Then, slowly he walked past and started for the door.

"Good night!" I called after him, but he didn't say anything. Just like when I told him Happy Christmas before break and he'd slammed the door on me. Why did I bother?

He did stop walking, however. For a second I thought maybe I had inadvertently frozen time, but then he turned and took the few strides so that he was once again standing in front of me. And maybe it was just me, but he seemed to be standing a little closer.

Then, he did something extraordinary. He lifted his hand and placed it along my jaw, his thumb brushing the top of my cheek. I suddenly forgot how to breath.

I almost forgot how to stand, too. I looked up at his eyes to see that he was looking back into my wide ones.

Subconsciously, I tilted my head into his soft hand. I hated myself for it, but I like the way it felt. Palm cupping my cheek, thumb lightly brushing under my eye, and fingers delicately touching the spot behind my ear. It made me feel like I could fly.

"Good night, Hermione," he said.

Something went missing in my chest when he said that. I think I was my heartbeat. I couldn't help but smile hugely at him and his grey eyes that felt deeper than the Black Lake right then.

"Good night, Draco," I barely managed to whisper.

He smiled then, too. An upturned mouth fit his face so nicely I thought it might make me melt.

If I could have frozen time _then_, I would have. It was so amazing. So blissful. So wrong, but that, I think, is what made it seem so perfect.

He moved his thumb ever so lightly across my cheek.

"Good night," he said again.

Then his fingers slid across my face and his hand was gone. He walked to the door, and just before shutting it behind him, turned to smile at me once more.

Everything changed that night. For better or worse, everything changed.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's been a while and I know this one is super duper short and I'm really sorry about that! I wanted to ask you though, would you like shorter update periods with shorter chapters, or longer update periods but with longer chapters?**

**What I mean is:**

**Less time between updates but with shorter chapters (1000-2500 words long within 5-15 days)**

**or**

**Greater time between updates but with longer chapters (3000-4000 words long within 20-30 days)**

**I'm going to let you decide so make sure to let me know in the comments (of course the set words and days above will vary slightly depending on what is going on in my life). Also, to give you an idea, this chapter was about 1700 words long. Most of my chapters so far have been 2500-3800 words. I just want to know which you prefer so that I don't take too long to update or have too short of chapters.**

**So, review, review, review!**

**I love them so much!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	11. With You

**With You**

I arrived outside the Astronomy Tower at six thirty, just like I said I would. Draco wasn't there yet, so I leaned against the wall and yawned. Why did I say I would be here at six thirty again? It's the weekend. I should be sleeping right now.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cold wall, wrapping my arms around me. It was quite chilly up here and my shirt didn't do much to keep the cold away.

My mind wandered while I waited. I tried to imagine what Harry and Ron would do if they knew I was waiting to have breakfast with Draco Malfoy. Ron would probably have a fit, like he did when I told him I was going to Slughorn's party with Cormac, and Harry would tell me it was a good way to get myself killed. And, oh gods, to think what Ginny would do!

I shuttered against the cold and the thought of Ginny making up scenarios that I didn't even want think about.

"Waiting for someone?" said a cool voice close to my ear.

I jumped, instinctively reaching for my wand. But when I looked around I saw that it was only Malfoy, smirking at my disheveled state.

"Yeah," I said, my face growing red. "But he's late."

He grinned. "Technically, he's not. It's only six fifty. He told you to meet him here at seven."

"And I told him I'd be here at six thirty," I retorted, but I couldn't help but smile with him.

He took a step closer to me so that we were almost toe to toe. My breathing quickened. He was taking up my air.

"Then tell me," he said, smirk growing on his face. "This, handsome someone you were suppose to meet, did he or did he not say he would also be there at six thirty?"

"I did _not _say you were handsome!" I exclaimed, my face going red.

This was a whole other side to Draco Malfoy I'd never seen before. The happy-but-not-because-someone-else-is-hurting side. I liked it.

"Who said we were talking about me?" he smirked.

I scoffed.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Have been since six thirty."

"This way," he motioned for me to follow him.

He took off down the hall and up a set of stairs I didn't even know was there. We walked up them for quite a long time.

"Where are we going?" I panted out.

He looked back over his shoulder and smirked at me. "You'll see."

My heart started racing, more than it already was.

"Is this how you're going to kill me?" I joked, although I wasn't sure it actually was. "Lead me all the way up here so no one can hear me scream?"

He laughed and suddenly stopped in front of a wooden door.

"Yes," he laughed, opening it and ushering me inside. "I'm going to kill you with breakfast."

Inside was a small room I'd never seen before. It must have been one of those rooms at Hogwarts that you could only find once or twice or if you were the right person or in the right situation.

There was a table for two on the right, that had been set with breakfast foods and two plates. On the left was an empty fireplace, a bookshelf, and a dark blue couch.

"Whoa," I said, walking and taking it in. "How did you find this?"

He shut the door behind him and the room suddenly became a lot warmer.

"I was doing my usual sneaking around, as you and your little friends would call it, and I found this."

"And your first thought was; 'I should have breakfast here with Hermione Granger'," I finished for him.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Actually my first thought was that I could come here when I skip classes."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't skip classes," I told him.

He walked forward and took a seat on the other side of the table and I sat down across from him.

I looked at all the food. There was no way we were going to eat all of this unless Draco's appetite was huge this morning. In that case, the stomach sickness potion was doing a phenomenal job.

"Did you get all this from the kitchens?" I asked as he forked some eggs on his plate and then handed them to me like we did this ever day. In fact, I realized I wouldn't mind doing this everyday.

"No, I made most of it with the oven I keep in the Slytherin Common Room,"

"Ha ha!" I retorted sarcastically.

I took a bite of the eggs. Yep, tasted like Hogwarts cooking.

"Thanks," I said after a bit. "For this. It's nice."

He sighed and shook his head. "No! Don't thank me!"

I looked at him in shock.

"This is supposed to be me thanking you! If you say thanks then this can't be my thanks!"

I relaxed a bit and laughed at him.

"Oh well!" I sang. "It's too late! I already said thank you!"

He sighed again, but this time he was smiling. It made my heart swell.

"Damn it, Granger! Now I have to do something else for you!" He gave me a smirk.

I blushed and looked down at my food. This was all too nice, all too good to be. There had to be something that was wrong with the situation. I mean, other than the fact that this was Draco Malfoy and me sharing a meal.

I looked up at him again and met his eyes, making my breathing stop.

Oh yeah.

That was it.

His eyes.

They were incredibly sad behind the small smile he gave me, and tired. Did he never sleep?

"You look tired," I told him, as nicely as I could.

He looked away and cleared his throat.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I am."

I realized that both of us had stopped eating a while ago. We'd just been sitting there together.

"Have a rough night?" I tried.

He shrugged. "You could say that."

"Oh gods, Draco, were you working on that blasted cabinet all night?"

His name slipped out of my mouth so easily that I didn't know I'd said it until it was too late.

He only looked at me though.

"No," was all he said.

"Oh," _good,_ I thought. Then I smiled. "Have a party with your mates or something?"

He chuckled and said something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like _Mates?_ _What mates?_

"No," he said again. "If you really want to know, I can't sleep. The only time I've slept all night this year was when I was-" he stopped suddenly. His face went paler than it usually was and then red as a Weasley's head.

He swallowed hard, his eyes were wide, but he didn't elaborate.

"What?" I said quietly, but I think I was starting to already formulate an answer. They didn't call me the brightest witch for nothing. "When you were what, Draco?"

He swallowed again and cleared his throat. Then he stood up swiftly.

"I need to go," he took out his wand and cleared the table with a flick.

I stood up, too, as he headed to the door.

"What, Draco?" I insisted.

He reached the door without answering me and moved to open it. I grabbed his arm quickly, surprising both of us.

"Draco."

He didn't turn around. I let go of his arm and it fell to his side.

"When you were what?" I needed to hear him say it.

He finally turned around. His eyes were bloodshot and he was shaking.

"The only time," he shook "I've slept all night..." he took a step closer to me.

I looked up at his sad, sad eyes and felt a jolt as something slid into my hands. It was his hands, sending shivers and zap of electricity up and down my arms.

"...was when I was with you," he finished at a whisper.

It felt like someone kicked me in the gut. All the air was knocked out of me. I couldn't speak, breath, blink, move. I couldn't do anything but look at him.

Then, I did something that surprised me even more than when I grabbed his arm. It surprised me even more than his hands in mine, or when he used my first name. It surprised me even more than when he kissed me that time in the Room Of Requirement.

I hugged him.

I lunged forward, and wrapped my arms tightly around his torso.

I felt him stiffen up at first, but after just a second, he relaxed.

And

Hugged

Me

Back.

* * *

**A/N: Welp! Here ya go! I got three people saying that they wanted shorter chapters with shorter updates, so that's what I'll be doing unless a bunch of you decide to comment and insist the opposite.**

**But seriously guys, comment. I love your feedback. I _need _your feedback!_  
_**

**Also, if any of you are readers from my other Dramione, Searching, I thought you'd like to know that I finally wrote the epilogue for it (In case you didn't already know) So, go check that out!**

**Leave me your thoughts!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	12. Sleepless Dreams

**Sleepless Dreams**

_I hugged him._

_I lunged forward, and wrapped my arms tightly around his torso._

_I felt him stiffen up at first, but after just a second, he relaxed._

_And_

_Hugged_

_Me_

_Back._

* * *

He was warm. Firm yet soft and he smelled like books, but the best part was that he was warm.

His arms were around my back, pulling me into him, and I melted. All the way. I was a big puddle, holding on to his back with his white shirt clenched between my fingers. I buried my cheek in his chest and didn't think about who we were.

I didn't want it to end. I could have held onto him forever if he'd let me. But he didn't.

He pulled away from me, taking the warmth he'd given with him. But he didn't run away like I thought he would. He curled his fingers around my upper arms and looked at me with this sort of amused shock about his face.

I waited for him to yell at me and call me filthy names. But he just looked at me. Blast him! Just say something!

"I needed that," he whispered.

I smiled at him and felt his hands tighten slightly on my arms.

"We should probably get back to our common rooms," he said. "You probably have some studying to do or something."

_I could study here,_ I thought. In fact, I did plan on coming back if I could find the place. There were some books on that bookshelf I'd never seen before and Draco and I were the only two people who knew about this room so I'd never be disturbed.

"Yeah," I said to my own disappointment.

We walked out of the room and down the same steps. When we got to the Astronomy Tower where we planned on splitting up so no one would see us, I turned to him.

"I'm going to find a way to cure that sleeplessness too," I said.

He smiled. "Please do."

* * *

"Where have you been sneaking off too?" Ginny asked me when I arrived back in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"I haven't been sneaking off," I insisted, but I felt my face grow warm.

"Where were you at breakfast this morning?"

Harry and Ron were there too. All three of them were watching me. Waiting for my answer that I was sure they would know was a lie.

"Library," I said quickly. I used that excuse way too often.

"I looked for you there," she said.

I glanced around nervously.

"You must have just missed me," I said. "I wasn't there very long."

I was digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself the more I opened my mouth.

"So, where were you just now?"

I internally groaned. My library excuse was really the only one I had.

"I was with Flitwick. Finishing up an extra credit project."

"Hermione, you honestly need _less_ credit," Harry piped up, seeming to accept my answer.

I was relieved he did, because Ginny still looked like she didn't believe me.

"I like it," I replied simply.

Suddenly, a haunting voice carried out of the Girls' Dormitories and into the common room, making us all wince painfully, especially Ron.

"Wonwon!" the voice shrieked. "Wonwon!"

I groaned and rolled my eyes as Lavender bounded into the room. She ran up behind where Ron was on the sofa and wrapped her arms around him extravagantly.

I saw Ron sigh briefly before putting on a goofy smile and looking up at her. She gave him a sloppy kiss on the lips.

"We're gonna go to Hogsmead today, okay?"

Ron looked at us, pleading with his eyes.

"Great!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to get my purse and then we can go!"

She squeezed his face between her hands and then skipped back up to her dormitory.

We looked at Ron in silence, who was beat red in the race.

"All she wants to do is snog!" he said in an urgent whisper. "It was okay at first, but now I have to wear this bloody thing all the time," he pointed to the little heart necklace she had given him that was resting against his chest. "I don't even like it!"

"You need to break up with her," Harry said.

Ron leaned forward in his seat.

"Believe me, if I could I would. But I really don't want Lavender Brown as an ex-girlfriend,"

I smirked to myself. So. Ronald Weasley was finally coming round. I couldn't blame him for not wanting to break up with Lavender though. That girl was a monster when she was mad. Heck, she was a monster when she wasn't.

"Wonwon! Are you ready?!"

Ron's eyes widened as the sound of Lavender's many bracelets and necklaces clinking together grew louder.

_Help me!_ He mouthed at us and Lavender's arms wrapped around him from behind again.

"You might need your coat, Wonwon! It's cold out there!"

"Okay," Ron said behind false smile.

When the pair was finally gone, I turned to Harry and Ginny.

"Any idea what to get him for his birthday?" I asked.

"Quidditch things or sweets," Ginny said.

"I just got him some things from Zonko's," said Harry.

I nodded thoughtfully and wondered what spectacular gift Lavender would get him.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, I stuck to my promise. I spent my free time researching sleeping potions for Draco. That is, when I wasn't working on homework or still trying to figure out who in Merlin's Beard the Half Blood Prince was. There was one potion that stuck out at me. I found it while browsing the dreams and sleep section in the library. It was called Dreamless Sleep Potion and it seemed to take care of all the things Malfoy was having trouble with.

_Cures sleeplessness and overrides never sleep potions_

_Puts user into a dreamless state, perfect for those with nightmares and night terrors_

_Sleepwalking has been reported to cease while user is under the potions effects_

_Perfect for those experiencing stress_

The potion really had it all and it looked very easy. The only problem was the ingredients. I knew they were all in the student cupboard in the potions room, but getting them was another thing. Could I really ask Professor Slughorn for another extra credit project?

I suppose there was the option of letting my grade slip a little in Potions so that it would look like I actually needed extra credit. It wouldn't be that hard. I was working ferociously to keep my grade at an O as it was because of Harry and his blasted book.

That might work. But the thought of just _letting_ myself get a low grade made me sick to the stomach. I needed some of that stomach sickness potion I'd given Draco.

If that didn't work I could see if he'd take muggle sleeping pills.

* * *

So, in class the next day, I tried not to try. Like I said, it was hard to get a good grade in potions because Slughorn compared everyone's to Harry's potion. Which was always excellent thanks to the Half Blood Prince. If I ever found out who that was I was going to strangle them.

When my book said to stir to the right, I stirred mostly to the left. When it said to chop the Laughing Tulip roots into exactly one centimetre, I cut them just a hair longer. My potion was almost perfect, but not quite. Just how I needed it.

Draco wasn't in class that day, but I knew exactly where he was. It made me sick to my stomach every time I looked at his empty seat and then at Harry. I should tell someone, I really should, it could save the whole school, but I couldn't get Draco into trouble. If someone was going to tell, it needed to be him.

At the end of class Slughorn started coming around with clipboard in hand, like he always did, to inspect our potions. He started with Harry's, praising him, as per usual, and moved along to the left toward where the Slytherins sat.

When he reached mine, he wafted the steam toward him to smell it.

"Good," he murmured.

He took out a bag of salt crystals and dropped in a pinch.

Instead of sizzling softly like they were supposed to, they popped and banged loudly.

"Mmm..." he hummed in disapproval. "Too much Laughing Tulip root."

He thought for a moment. "E, will do I think."

I tried to look shocked.

"Sir," I said quickly. "Is there a way that I could maybe get it up to an O? I could do another potion after class. Maybe something like Dreamless Sleep potion?"

He thought again.

"Alright, but you'll be redoing this one."

My heart dropped. Great. This had been for nothing.

"Could I please do a different potion instead?" I begged.

"I'm sorry, Granger, but this is the potion you are struggling with, not some sleeping potion. If you want the extra point you'll do this one, tomorrow night after supper."

I turned red. I did want that extra point, but I wanted to make that sleeping potion in order to get it.

"Yes sir," I sighed.

I'd just have to try the muggle sleeping pills.

* * *

"This is a potion?"

I caught Draco's eye after supper on Thursday and gestured for him to follow me into an empty class room. I'd given him the sleeping pills that he was currently examining and told him they were potions pressing into little tablets.

"_This_ is a potion?" he repeated.

I nodded. Of course I'd neglected to tell him that they were also muggle.

He frowned and squinted an eye at me, but popped it in his mouth. I extended the glass of water I had to him, but to my horror he started chewing the pill.

"No!-" I started, but before I could finish he was gagging and spitting out the pill into a rubbish bin.

"That is _the_ worst thing I have ever tasted!" he exclaimed, grabbing the glass of water and chugging it.

"You're not supposed to chew it!"

He finished the water, and upon tasting the lasting pill residue in his mouth, made a face.

"What am I supposed to do? Swallow it whole?"

"Yes!"

I took the glass back from him and used my wand to refill it with water.

"I can't swallow that," he pointed to the second pill in my hand.

I rolled my eyes. "You swallow bigger pieces of food than this!"

He pinched the pill between his finger and thumb and brought it up to his eyes.

"Just put it on the back of your tongue and then take a drink of water," I instructed, holding out the glass again.

He continued to look it over.

"Where did you say you got this from again? I'd never heard of any wizard making these."

I turned pale. "Just take it," I said quickly.

Eyeing me, he set it on his tongue like I'd told him, and took a gulp of water.

His eyebrows shot up.

"It's gone!" his face lit up.

I beamed at him.

"Good! Now. Go to bed. You can tell me tomorrow if it worked."

"Okay!" he exclaimed, getting excited. "Okay! Okay! Bed!" He was practically skipping. He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you! I'm going to sleep!"

"Don't thank me yet," I told him cautiously.

He skipped from the room, smiling like an idiot.

_Now we wait_, I thought.

That night, it was me who had trouble sleeping. I kept wondering if Draco was asleep or not. Had it worked? Or was he tossing and turning in bed?

The next morning at breakfast, looking across at the Slytherin table to where Draco was seated it was clear what the answer to my question was; it hadn't worked. My heart sunk.

* * *

**A/N: Yea! All your wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous reviews made me inspired to write! Thank you so much! And Please keep it up!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel **


	13. Meet Me In The

**Meet Me In The**

Draco was slumped over his breakfast with cheek in pale hand and albino hair falling down into darkly circled eyes. His lids were almost closed in fatigue. He punctured the food on his plate with his fork and slowly brought it to his mouth, but, either he didn't want to or he was too tired to, his mouth didn't open and the food pressed against his lips.

I tried to pay attention to my own meal and not think about him, but it was simply impossible. I was tired too, I had spent all night worrying that the pill I gave him would work, but I knew I couldn't be as nearly as tired and broken as he was.

Beside Malfoy, Blaise Zambini was trying to get his attention. He pushed Draco's arm, waved a hand in front of his face, and stole some of the food off his plate, but Draco didn't waver. He stared emptily at the wood on the table and the patterns the grain made.

I didn't feel much like talking either. Ginny was bouncing around in the seat next to me, thankfully deep in conversation with Harry about Quidditch.

I _needed_ to make that dreamless sleep potion. If I had to steal the ingredients to do it, then I guess I would. Might. Probably not. I knew I couldn't steal. Not unless I had Harry and Ron nagging at me from under the invisibility cloak like in second year when we stole those ingredients for the Pollyjuice potion. Even then I didn't actually do the stealing. But I needed to do something.

Draco didn't skip classes to day, but he might as well have. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him in the same position for every class we had together. Head in had, eyes half closed, staring mindlessly at his notes, or paper, or table. He didn't write down anything. He didn't hand in homework. He didn't even prepare ingredients for our next potion project. The only time he moved was when class ended. It was like he wasn't there at all. But I could feel him. His presence I mean. It was like he was constantly in my line of vision.

At the end of our last class together, I decided to slip him a note. I scribbled on a tiny piece of paper and held it firmly in my hand as class was dismissed. I walked out with Harry and Ron, intending to purposely bump into Draco.

He moved slowly to the door and I pretended to pick up my things until he got right where I needed him to be. Then I hurried forward.

I smashed into his side, grabbing his hand at the same time and slipping in the note. He stumbled forward and I nearly tripped on his feet.

He looked at me and I gave him a look that I hope very clearly said _be rude._

He put on a scowl and bared his pearly whites. "Watch it, Granger!" he growled.

"Shove off, Malfoy," I retorted quickly.

Malfoy stared at me for a moment with a frown still planted on his face. I high-fived him with my eyes but mimicked his facial expression.

Behind me I felt Harry and Ron tensing up and touch their wands.

I turned and grabbed Harry's shirt sleeve before anyone them could do something stupid and dragged them both away.

"Stupid prick," Ron seethed after Malfoy. "Tell me you found out what Malfoy's up to, Harry,"

I looked at Harry in worry. He shook his head.

"He's a sneaky little bastard, I know he's skipping classes for a reason, but every time I try to follow him, something or someone catches me up."

I felt relieved. Then I felt horrible for feeling that way.

"Maybe he's just sneaking around to make you think he's up to something," I said.

"I know you like to see the good in people, Hermione, but there's nothing good about Malfoy or what he's doing," Harry said.

I frowned and shook my head, but kept quiet. I couldn't decide whether Harry's words were true or not at the time. In my heart, I felt that Draco had good intentions. He was just trying to please his father and save his family, no matter what it took, but I also knew that he didn't really want anyone hurt. But what my heart thinks and what's true could be totally different things.

After last period, I hastily told Harry and Ron that I was going to go to the library (again) to check on something. But instead of going there, I ran up, past the Astronomy Tower, and praying, found the stairs leading to the room Draco had found.

He wasn't there when I entered so I sat down my bag on the table and walked to the grand bookshelf. There was at least one book on everything not in the library. And it turns out, there were a lot of books not in the library. I ran my fingers delicately over the spines.

Wait.

I recognized some of these titles. I ran my finger up a thin book and pulled it out. It was _Romeo and Juliet. _My eyes wandered up and I slid out another book. _The Catcher In The Rye._ Most of them, but not all, were muggle books. That must have been why they weren't in the library. There were also volumes filled with news paper clippings from the _Daily Prophet _dating back hundreds of years, a book called _Walking With Muggles: A Wizard's Guide To Living Like The Non-Magical Folk,_ several books on how spells were invented, and many more odds and ends books.

Suddenly, I saw something moving fast on my right. Before I could turn to see what it was, everything went black and something soft and smooth pressed gently against my eyelids. I jumped about three feet in the air, stiffened, and gasped.

"Guess who?" someone chuckled, their chest vibrated against my back.

I sighed in relief. "Malfoy..."

He laughed again and removed his hands from my eyes. Light came flooding back to me and I turned to face him. He looked the same as he had all day, pale, tired, and fed up, but now, he had on a smile.

"I didn't even hear you come in!" I exclaimed.

He crossed his arms over his chest and peered down at me with a smirk. "I should think not," he said. "You were like in a trance with those books."

I felt my face grow red and he smiled even wider.

"I came in, set my bag on the table, _and_ asked what you wanted," he said. "But I bet those books are really interesting. Open a hypnosis one?" he teased.

"Shut up," I mumbled and gently slugged his arm. "What took you so long?"

"Your letter wasn't exactly clear on where to go,"

I frowned and he reached into his pocket to take out the scrap of crinkled paper. He looked at me, down at the scribbled words, and read what I had wrote out loud.

"_Meet me in the after last period."_

I smiled sheepishly as he laughed out loud.

"I had a bit of a time figuring out where 'in the' was," He stuffed the letter back in his pocket and looked me over for a minute. "What did you need?" he asked.

"I wanted to know if that pill- er- potion I gave you worked," I already knew the answer but maybe I was hoping he would say differently.

"I'm not stupid, Granger, I know it was a muggle pill," he said.

My face grew hot.

"It worked fine," he continued.

I frowned at him and shook a finger in his face. "Don't lie to me, Malfoy."

The cheerful expression drained from his face and it was back to the sad, gloomy, look I saw on him all day. He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his hair, turning around to pace about the room.

"Merlin!" I said. "Why won't it work?"

"I dunno," he mumbled, his face in his hands as he walked around.

"There's a potion I can try," I said. "Dreamless Sleep Potion. I'd have to steal some ingredients from the potions cupboard, but it might work."

He stopped moving and looked up at me. "Hell no, Granger. I will not have you getting in trouble just so I can sleep all night."

My features stiffened. "I'll get in trouble if I want to, Malfoy."

He raised an eyebrow. "I won't let you."

"Try and stop me," I huffed and headed to the door.

Malfoy jumped in front of me and blocked the door, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest.

"Move, Malfoy," I warned.

He didn't budge.

"Move," I said again and walked forward in the hopes that I could shove him out of the way or reach around and grab the handle.

His hands came up and grabbed my wrists before I could lay a finger on him. Suddenly, we spun around and he pinned me with my back against the wall and wrists up by my shoulders.

I yanked hard. "Let go!" I growled between clenched teeth.

"Not until you promise me you won't do anything stupid," his breath was hot on my face.

I scowled at him. "Helping you sleep is not stupid." I pulled on my hands.

"Hermione, stop!" he yelled as I struggled against him more. "I'm not worth it."

I stopped moving to look at him. His face was inches from mine. I could see now, better than ever, the bloodshot and black ringed eyes, his pale skin, and dark cheeks. And I could see how moist his eyes looked.

He let out a great breath and rested his forehead on my shoulder, taking me in shock. The hands around my wrists loosened and I wrapped my arms around his back.

"Draco," I whispered. "Go to the couch."

He obeyed and laid down on the couch. I crawled on next to him and placed my head on his chest. His arm snaked underneath and around my waist to keep me from falling off the edge. I put my own arm around his midsection and held him tight.

Listening to his heart beat against his chest and his breathing slowing down and becoming more even, I moved myself closer to him, tightening my arm and wrapping my legs around one of his, I fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Here you go! **

**So, I probably won't be updating for a little while because, I may or may not be writing a fairly big chapter for you for the holidays. (0o0)**

**Thanks for the beautiful comments last time, please keep them coming! When I read your reviews I feel like writing twenty pages in one night!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	14. The Dark Mark

**A/N: This is an extra long chapter given to my readers for the holidays, 2014!**

* * *

**The Dark Mark**

I felt something warm and tight around my waist when I woke up. I blinked open my eyes, and for a second, was very confused about where I was. All I could see was a wall with a single bookcase against it. Looking down, I could see that I was about to fall off the edge of a sofa if it weren't for something holding me back around the waist.

I wiggled around to look over my shoulder, and saw the sleeping face of Draco Malfoy. And then fell off the sofa.

What had I done? Had I really slept next to Malfoy? I stood up and stumbled over the carpet. He stirred and scowled at something in his sleep. _This is the boy that tormented you mercilessly for years!_ I tried to remind myself. Helping him stay alive was one thing, sleeping next to him was another.

My bag was still on the table from the night before. But wait. It had been day when I came up here. So what time was it now. There were no clocks in the room nor were there any windows.

Draco stirred on the sofa again, this time growling in his sleep. I peered over the edge at him and felt something hit my chest. Not something physical. It was inside me, squeezing my heart, and I knew it was because I was looking at Draco. With his normally perfect hair sticking up and in his face, his curled fists that for some reason I wanted to reach out and touch, the scowl across his lips that I hated myself for _really _wanting to kiss again.

I tried to move toward the door, but I felt rooted to the spot. I wanted to leave before he woke, but I could not move. Something was keeping me tied there.

He rolled around again, clenching his teeth and fist harder and whimpering aloud. I could now make out beads of sweat forming on his hairline and his breathing was becoming rapid. I didn't know what to do. Did I try to wake him? Did I get help? Or did I just leave him to come to on his own?

His teeth began grinding together. I made a split second decision, and ran around the edge of the couch to comfort him. My hand reached out and touched his cold forehead. My fingers had no sooner brushed his flesh than he woke with a start and sat up bolt right. He looked at me, frightened and bug eyed for half a second and then his breathing began to steady and slowly he calmed down.

He brought up a pale hand and ran it shakily through his sweaty hair.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I think you were having a night mare," I said quietly, recovering myself.

"No," he panted. "I mean, were you screaming?"

I frowned. "No,"

"In my dream someone was screaming, I couldn't tell if it was real or not."

"It wasn't real," I assured him.

He looked at me with relief in his eyes for just a moment and I felt the same pressure in my chest. Then he stood up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, looking around.

"What time is it?" he mumbled.

"I don't know," It could have been two in the morning for all we knew. "I'm going to check the halls," I said, worrying a little now that perhaps it was ten o'clock the next day and I was missing class.

I hurriedly grabbed my bag from the table and rushed to the door.

"Granger, that's my bag," Malfoy called.

I looked at the bag in my hands and realized it was not my tan, book heavy bag. Instead, it was Mafoy's black, and rather light one.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed, handing over the bag and blushing slightly.

He handed my bag over and I took it, but he grabbed my wrist before I could pull away. Little shocks went all the way up my arm from were he was holding my left wrist and he was incredibly warm.

"Malfoy, what are you doing?" I exclaimed, pulling away lightly.

"Checking the time," he said nonchalantly.

My face burned bright red as I realized in horror that I was wearing a watch. I always wear a watch. How could I not remember that? Was something wrong with me? I took the wrong bag and forgot I was wearing a watch. Had Malfoy preformed some memory scrambling spell on me while I slept? I knew I had made a big mistake.

Draco looked up at me slyly and a huge smirk on his face.

"Forgot about your watch?" he asked.

I yanked my hand away, blush still spreading furiously across my face, and tried not to smile with him or show the butterflies in my stomach at the sight of his happy face. Oh, what was happening to me?

My watch told me it was two o'clock in the morning, to which I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to my common room," I told Draco definitely as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"It's two o'clock in the morning, Granger," he said and set his own bag back on the table.

"So?" I asked, watching his every move. The way his mouth curled just slightly at the edges when he smirked at me, the albino strands of hair that he had yet to pat down, the way his irises seemed to swirl with a silvery liquid when his eyes moved.

"So," he repeated. "What excuse are you going to give to whomever you run into out there? Because it is practically impossible for perfect Hermione Granger to get detention."

I scowled at him and pouted, but blushed furiously. He was smirking again. I thought he might have grown out of teasing me, but I guess I had been wrong.

"I'm not perfect you know," I said, giving in and setting my bag down. "I used to sneak out with Harry and Ron all the time.

He raised an eyebrow and followed me as I moved around the sofa and plopped down on one end. "_You _sneaked out with Potter and Weasel?" he asked, sitting down on the opposite end.

"Yes," I said pointedly.

"All the time?"

"Yes."

So maybe I was lying a teeny bit. Harry and Ron wandered the night time corridors way more than I ever did, they were probably out now, but I had been there for some of the action.

"I don't believe you," he remarked simply. "You're not daring enough, Granger."

I knew he was only trying to get me going but I played right into his hands.

"I'll have you know that I am very daring," I crossed my arms defensively. "Name something. Right now. I'll do it. You want me to run down the halls? I'll do it. Want me to sneak into the kitchens? I'll do it," I became flustered with the need to prove to him that I was indeed daring.

He stood up, surprising me. "Okay, let's go," he said.

I stood up quickly. "Where? The kitchens?" I kind of expected him to roll his eyes or just laugh at me. I didn't expect him actually make me prove it.

"No. The Astronomy Tower. Unless you're not daring enough,"

"Easy," I said, head held high, and heading to the door. I was actually thankful he had chosen somewhere closer and easier to get to.

I marched down the stares, checked that the coast was clear in the hallway, and made it safely inside the Astronomy Tower with Draco following close behind.

"There," I said, turning to face him. "I told you."

"You're not done yet, Granger," he said, walking right past me and strait for the edge of the tower, protected from a deadly drop with a railing.

"Well I'm not going to jump if that's what you think, Malfoy."

He didn't answer, instead, he took out his wand and pointed it toward the sky, murmuring something incomprehensible. I walked over to the edge and stood next to him, trying to figure out what he was up to. It was cold. It was almost March and the winter's snow was only just beginning to melt. In fact, if it were only a few degrees cooler, it could have snowed. I looked down at the long drop just a few inches in front of me and gulped. Squeezing my eyes shut, I gripped the edge of the railing until my knuckles turned white. It wasn't the height that frightened me, it was the fall and sudden stop at the bottom.

Malfoy wasn't paying attention to me. His eyes were focused on a growing dot in the distance. At first, I thought it was an owl, but as it got closer, I could see that it was much to long and thin to be any sort of flying creature. After about five seconds, the object was close enough for Draco to reach out and grab. My eyes widened at the sight of it and my heart jumped to my throat.

No.

Nope.

Not happening.

Draco gave me a very evil and smug smirk as he mounted his shiny new broomstick. The handle was long and polished and the branches sleek and stiff.

"Come on Granger!" he patted the back where he expected me to sit. "Be daring!"

I shook my head profusely. "That's not daring. That's stupid!"

"You said anything!" he teased.

"Do you even _know_ how many broomstick related injuries there are a year?" I asked.

"No, but I bet you do-"

"3893. And do you know how many of those were deaths?"

"Two?" he guessed.

"896."

"So, that leaves a lot that weren't. And even more wizards that never got hurt at all. Don't be a pixie, Granger."

I stood with my arms crossed and stared defiantly at him.

He sighed and unmounted the broom. Then, he walked closer and held out his hand for me to take. I stared at it, feeling a lump in my throat at the thought of entwining my fingers in his. He sighed again and forcibly grabbed my hand. He yanked me toward the broom, leaving me no choice but to swing my leg over it. Before I could step completely over, Draco mounted it quickly behind me and we lurched into the dim, cool air.

I let out an ear-splitting scream without meaning to and squeezed my eyes shut so tight I thought they might never open again. The cold wind slapped my face and made my eyes water. Draco's arm snaked around my waist, pulling our bodies together, making me feel a little warmer and a tad bit safer. I grasped desperately at his left arm that was still holding onto the broom handle. I was squeezing so tight I could have popped his arm off, but I didn't care.

I dared a look. We were passing quickly above the trees of the forbidden forest. I clamped my eyes shut again and swallowed hard. I was going to be sick.

"Draco," I quivered. "Put me down."

His chest vibrated against my back as he chuckled, but his arm tightened around my waist, drawing me even closer into him.

I started to feel like I couldn't breath. I started drawing quicker breaths and my heart sped up, but that might have been because his lips had suddenly pressed on the back of the juncture of my neck and shoulder. He didn't move them. He just kept them pressed on the naked flesh of my neck where my hair had abandoned it and flown back with the wind. There was a great heat spreading from that point that stirred something in my stomach. On second thought, that might have been sickness in my stomach.

I gripped his arm tighter and shivered. "Please put me down."

He leaned forward and without looking, I could feel the ground rushing up toward up. My body went ridged, I thought for sure we would hit the ground with a splat, but we landed softly. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I stumbled off the broom and away from Malfoy, clutching my chest and gasped for breath.

"Granger, are you okay?" Draco asked, taking a step toward me.

I gave him a thumbs up, hoping he wouldn't come any closer while I was having a heart attack.

Finally, I recovered, and catching my breath spluttered out, "Draco Malfoy- I hate you!"

He only smirked. "You know, we have to ride back, too."

"No," I said quickly.

"No?"

"I'm walking."

And indeed, I started to walk. We had landed in a small clearing in the Forbidden Forest. The light was dim, the sun was only just peaking above the horizon, and I had no idea which way was back to Hogwarts. But I walked anyway. Draco hovered up next to me on his broom, still smirking.

"Need a lift?"

"No."

"I think you do."

"No."

"You're going the wrong way."

I stopped dead in my tracks and tried to peer through the dense trees in front of me. I couldn't see anything but darkness. Swiveling, I peered into the trees behind me and still couldn't see a sign of the castle. Draco could be lying and I could actually be going the right way for all I knew.

"If we go up now, we can see the sunrise," he said on my left.

"I can't get back on that broom," I said. "I hate flying."

He floated gracefully to my right.

"You can ride in the back this time," he said, his eyes were begging me with those perfect silver irises. "I think you would like that better."

I didn't say anything.

"I'll go slow," he continued. "And I'll let you down as soon as you tell me."

He reached out his hand again and I got butterflies just looking at it. Against all my better judgement, I took it, feeling it protect me against the biting cold, even that little touch. He held my hand while I climbed on behind him, and when he let go, I rocketed forward and wrapped my arms firmly around his waist.

He kicked off from the ground, slowly this time and I was able to keep one eye open to witness the whole spectacular thing. I bit back a scream, instead tightening my grip on Draco's thin torso.

We rose, higher and higher into the air, at least a hundred feet from where we were on the ground earlier. I had to admit, now that my eyes were open, that Draco really was a good flier. I'd seen him fly in Quidditch games before, but I had always been rooting against him, so I didn't really notice until now that his moves were smooth and graceful. He had complete control of the broom.

The air was cold, especially as the broom rose higher. I tried not to look down at the frozen ground below me, but I couldn't help a glance. I shuddered against the cold and the height we were at and buried my cheek into Draco's back to absorb as much of his body heat as I could. It also made me feel safer. I knew he wasn't going to fall, so if I held tight enough maybe I wouldn't either.

All of a sudden, we stopped moving higher and Draco leveled out his broom. We didn't move forward either.

"What are you doing?" I whispered harshly.

"I'm going to turn around," he grunted and swung his right leg over so that he was sitting sideways on the broom. I didn't let go of him. In fact, I gripped his waist tighter.

"Why?" I asked, panic clear in my voice. We were very high up and I couldn't think why anyone would turn around on their broom at this height.

"So I can watch the sunrise," he said.

I stayed straddling the broom. My hips started to ache and I realized that I was gripping the broom tightly with my thighs, but I didn't ease up. Draco sat, his legs dangling over certain death below us and swaying gently as if he were only sitting in a high chair. And he watched the sunrise as though there wasn't a girl clinging desperately to his torso and wrinkling his crisp shirt from grasping it so hard.

I moved my head so I could see the sunrise too. It was beautiful. A sign of a new day and a new beginning was rising silently over the hills in the distance, washed over with colours of pinks and oranges. I marveled at how you could only see this beauty at the beginning and end of each day. None other time.

And I thought about how stupid this all was. Draco and I, a hundred feet in the sky, watching the sunrise, and not even a thought about our past, present, or what could possibly happen in the future made me wish it was any different.

"I feel like we're hogging this," I spluttered out

"How so?" his chest rumbled against me cheek when he talked.

"The sunrise and everything, this should be a romantic thing for people in love," I whispered. "Not us."

"Why can't two people just watch a sunrise?" he didn't sound upset. He sounded like he was curious about my reasons.

"I don't know. That's just the way it is. In muggle films and books and stuff. There's always this perfect couple, on a rooftop or hilltop or something, watching the sunrise," I paused, waiting for him to interject about how stupid that was, but he didn't say anything, so I continued. "And the girl is looking lovingly at the sunrise," I stared at it myself, thinking about how those cliche muggle romantic films went. "And the boy is looking lovingly at the girl and-" my breath hitched when I felt Draco's arm snake around my waist, pulling me closer and holding me tight. "-And then she notices and they kiss and fall in love and everything is beautiful, blah, blah."

"So, the girl is always looking at the sunrise?" he asked.

I nodded, drinking in the glows of pink and orange with my eyes as the sun rose above the hills.

"And the boy," he said. "He's always looking at the girl?"

I frowned, wondering why he was so curious about this, and mustering courage, sat up strait to look at him and found that he was already watching me. His hand on my waist started sending shocks throughout my body and I could almost feel the lines Draco drew across my face with his eyes.

"Yeah," I said dreamily, my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier to keep open.

"What does he do when he kisses her?" he whispered. "Does he cup her cheek like this?" he reached out with his other hand and laid it gently upon my cheek.

I stared gasping for air. It was like his hand was over my mouth and nose instead of my cheek, I was finding it hard to breath normally. And I realized that my eyelids had half closed all by themselves.

"And does he tilt her head up like this?"

I felt my chin being raised. Draco was staring at my lips and I was still grasping his shirt, although, I'd totally forgotten where we were.

"And then lean in like this?"

His face was suddenly so close to mine. His lips ghosted over my own. He stole my breath away and replaced it with his. It tasted like- like- Draco. There was no other way to describe it. My eyes shut all the way. I savored his breath, the feeling of his hand protectively around my waist, his fingers brushing my temple, and then, his lips on mine.

The fist time I kissed him came no where close to this. Anytime I'd ever been kissed came nowhere close to this. We weren't doing this because we needed it. This time it was because we wanted it.

Sparks and heat and electricity erupted from his lips, into my mouth and down my spine. I gasped and his tongue slipped in, gently dancing around mine. The hand around my waist gave a slight squeeze and somehow, he worked his leg around the broom so he was facing me and straddling it backwards.

He nipped my bottom lip, extracting a moan from the back of my throat. My hands curled around the collar of his shirt now, pulling him into me. I kissed him back like I meant it, pushing my lips on his and wrestling with his tongue.

We could have fallen off the broom. We could have splattered right on the ground. Or we could have already frozen to death. But I wouldn't have known. Time stood still for us. Time waited for us to have this before it threw troubles back in our way.

After thousands of years, we broke apart, both of us gasping for air. Draco put his hands on my shoulders and rested his forehead against mine.

"Whoa," he breathed, his breath cascaded down my face and I caught it with my lips. "That was-"

"Amazing," I finished for him and smiled.

He surged his lips onto mine again in response.

* * *

I floated through classes that day with only one thing on my mind: Draco. It was horrible. Not Draco, the fact that I couldn't focus on notes and homework. I was sure to fall far behind, but no matter what I thought about put my thoughts right back to Draco and his wonderful touch and blissful kisses, his warmth, and- see? I'm doing it again. He wasn't helping the matter either. I seemed to be on his mind too (which definitely was not horrible). He kept staring at me and pretty soon I'd look over and he'd smirk and I'd blush and smile softly, shaking my head and looking down at my notes, and pretty soon I'd feel him looking my way again.

I felt as dopey as Luna. I'm sure I was smiling like an idiot and whenever Harry or Ron said something to me I responded with: "uhum", "hmm", and "humm".

At lunch, Ginny seemed pretty fed up with my hazy state. Of course, I didn't notice until she clapped her hands in front of my face and said, "Hermione!"

I shook my head and realizing I'd been staring at either the far wall or the Slytherin table, I blushed because I knew it was the ladder.

"Yeah, Gin?" I asked.

She frowned at me. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, mumbling, "Brilliant actually."

"Are you sure?" Harry pipped in. "Because you've been acting odd all day."

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine," I said, trying to wave them off.

"Well you certainly seem happy about something," Ginny remarked.

"Just a good grade on an essay," I lied quickly.

"Isn't that pretty normal for you?" she asked.

I looked at Harry and he nodded in approval of what Ginny had said.

"So? Can't I be happy about it?"

Ginny narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, but I think it's something else. Something you're not telling us..."

I gulped internally, but rolled my eyes.

She suddenly gasped, making me jump. "It's a boy isn't it!"

"No!" I said, way too quickly.

She smiled slyly. "Who is it? Don't tell me you and Cormac actually got together!"

"Ew, Ginny, no, it's not-"

But she wouldn't let me finish. "Jake from Hufflepuff?! Max from Ravenclaw?!" I tried interjecting, but she wouldn't listen. "No! He's not a Slytherin, is he?!"

I froze with my mouth half open. _Quick! Think of something quick!_

"Gin, It's not a boy. I'm done with boys for awhile."

"A girl then? I didn't know you swung that way, but who is it?"

"No! Ginny!" I sighed and placed my fingers on my temple. "It's no one, okay? I was just worried about this assignment and I got it back today and it got an O so I'm happy."

She pursed her lips and stared at me with narrowed eyes for a while longer before she finally went back to her food.

* * *

The rest of the week went well, despite Ginny's suspicions. Somehow I managed to make it through each class with only a sideways glance at Draco. Merlin I wanted to grab him around the neck and kiss him until our lips bruised. But I couldn't even look too long at him. Not with Harry and Ron always so close. And speaking of Ron, his birthday was Saturday, also the first of March. I'd gotten him a Shocking Shaker: a wristband that shocks the person you shake hands with and makes their hair stand on end, and a book called _432 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Quidditch._

Harry, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Lavender, and I sat with Ron in the early evening to celebrate his birthday with presents and a couple Firewhiskeys Seamus had sneaked in. Ginny and Dean seemed to be in good moods toward each other, at least at the moment, and Lavender and I got along as long as we didn't say anything to each other. But our group still managed to make quite a racket, scaring all the first through fifth years from the common room, and the boys got pretty hammered.

"I love all you guys," Dean said, his arm was draped loosely over Ginny's shoulders, his other hand occupied with another bottle of Firewhiskey. "You all are the best friends."

We laughed as he swayed in his drunken state.

"No!" he slurred. "I'm serious! I love you, and you, and you..." he started pointing to each of us, telling us all in turn how much he loved us. "And you, and you, and you, and you," he finished, pointing at Ginny then falling forward and meeting her mouth with his.

Seamus and I laughed at him and Harry and Neville looked around uncomfortably.

"Oi!" Ron yelled and chucked a balled up piece of wrapping paper at the pair. "If you're going to snog my sister, don't do it in front of me!"

They broke apart, Ginny was pink in the face and Dean took another swig of Firewhisky.

"Hey!" he said, pointing at Ron. "She doesn't tell you to stop when you're snogging Brown all the time!"

"Actually, I do," Ginny cut in.

Dean took another drink, waved off Ron, and collapsed back on Ginny.

"Don't mind them, Wonwon!" Lavender said, grabbing Ron's face between her hands. "We don't have to watch them have all the fun," she smashed her lips into his.

I felt a weight on my shoulders and realized Seamus, who was also very drunk, had his arm around me. I stiffened immediately.

"Almost everyone here is snogging," he said, his breath reeked of booze. "'Sept us."

I gave him a strained smile and gently removed his arm from my shoulders. "I'm going to study," I said, standing up. "You guys have fun."

"Hermione," Harry said. "Seamus is just drunk, stay with us."

I hated being that person who left early, but something still angered me when I saw Ron and Lavender. I didn't want to ruin the relationship Ron and I were just rebuilding so I said, "That Potions test that's coming up is really stressing me out. If I don't study for it now, I'll never have time."

He gave me a sad smile like he was sorry I had no social life.

Going up the steps to the dormitories, I tried not to think about it, but it did bug me. Maybe I didn't spend enough time doing things other than reading or studying. Was I boring? Were my friends trying to save me from having no Hogwarts memories outside of the times Harry and Ron almost got us killed? Shaking my head, I grabbed my Potions book from my bag and plopped down on my bed, cracking it open.

I knew all of this. I knew about that potion, this potion, that ingredient, this effect. I knew it all. Or did I? What made the scribbles in Harry's Potions book better than the text in mine? What did the Half Blood Prince know that the authors of this book didn't? The whole Half Blood Prince thing was driving me insane.

I threw down the book and marched right down the steps, past the drunken teenagers in the common room, and strait to the library. I was going to find out who he was if it killed me.

Moving from left to right, down the shelves, I started looking in the potions section this time. The library was deserted and quiet, making my flustered movements sound even louder.

At least an hour passed of endlessly looking through page after page for signs of the words Half Blood Prince. Nothing. My eyes were getting tired and droopy and I was getting angrier by the book. By two hours, I was sweating, it felt like someone had lit a huge fire in the library, and it was useless to scan the pages as my eyes couldn't focus on a single word anymore. The sounds in the library were slowly lulling me to sleep. The torches popping, a random book in the forbidden section fluttering, the castle creaking as everyone in it started to settle down, footsteps behind me.

Footsteps?

I sat up strait and instantly noticed that the torches had gone much dimmer. I instinctively grabbed my wand and prayed that it was only Madam Pince coming to tell me the library was closing. A shadow was moving in the row of books to my right. I peered through the gaps, but couldn't see anything, even the shadow was gone. I didn't dare light my wand with Lumos.

Something touched my waist and like a snake, slithered around. I let out a shriek, but before I could turn around and hex my attacker, a body pressed against my back and I knew instantly who it was.

"Did you see a monster?" Draco asked, breathing in my hair and squeezing my waist gently.

"Something like that," I breathed, still flustered from before.

"Well," he said, voice vibrating against my back. "I'll try to protect you."

I turned to face him, meeting his lips the moment I could see his face in the dark shadows. He pushed me against the bookshelf behind me and cupped both of my cheeks in his hands. I grasped the back of his neck, right where his hair started to grow, and pulled his head down to me.

"I can protect myself," I whispered between his lips.

He moaned and pressed his hips into mine, pushing me further and harder against the books. His tongue swirled in my mouth, and I savored every taste and emotion from it.

"How did you know I was here?" I panted. It was hot in the library. Apparently Draco thought so too, he hastily rolled up the sleeves of his shirt while we breathed, but only for a moment.

"Where else would you be?" his breath running down my face like liquid. "You weren't in our room so..." he nipped my lip.

'Our room.' That made my heart melt. It was 'our room.' No one else's, just ours. But his words; "Where else would you be?" echoed around in my head. He was right. Where else would I be? My life was like clockwork. Wake up, go to class, go to the library, study. Again and again and again. Was I really that predictable? Was I really that mundane?

With effort, I pulled away from his heated kisses. I could see him blink curiously at me, even in the dim lighting.

"Do you think I'm boring?" I asked.

"Hell no," he said, and leaned in again but I stopped him. I had a feeling he was only saying that to get back to snogging.

"I'm serious, Malfoy," I said. "Am I a boring person?"

"Granger," he said, taking me by the shoulders and then running his hands down to entwine in my fingers. "Look where you are right now. Look at who you're with. Think about what we're doing. That's not something someone boring would do."

I wanted to ask him exactly what we were doing, but my eyes had traveled down his torso and along his milky arms to where something dark and oblong was stamped into his flesh.

"Draco," I said. "What is that?"

There was dead silence for a full ten seconds. Then, he harshly pulled his hands from mine and started to roll down the sleeves of his shirt again.

"Draco?" I had a horrible feeling about the way he had pulled away from me and was now rolling down his sleeve as if his life depended on it. "Draco!" I said louder, yet he still wouldn't answer me. "Lumos," I said and my wand suddenly flooded us with light.

He backed away from the light as if it burnt his flesh, making sure to hide his arm from my view.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"It's nothing, Granger," there was pain in his voice that told me it was definitely something.

"Show me it," I said strongly, already understanding what it was.

He froze. There was fear in his eyes and his hands were shaking. Shaking as he reluctantly stepped forward. Shaking as he rolled back the sleeve of his shirt. Shaking as he extended his arm. And shaking as he started to cry.

There. Standing out against his pearly flesh like a blackbird in a snowstorm, was the Dark Mark. Red, puffy, and sore, there it was, Harry's assumptions confirmed, torn into Draco's skin.

"No!" I cried. "No, Draco, no!" Tears began to flow from my own eyes. "What have you done?"

I reached out and delicately touched the dark lines with my index finger. He flinched, and sucked in a sharp breath as I ghosted my finger down the Mark that was clearly causing him pain.

"No!" I said again, shaking my head.

Draco was trembling with tears. "Hermione," he whispered. "I-" he broke off, unable to finish his sentence.

"Why?" I begged. "Why? Just tell me why?"

"I didn't have a choice," he stammered.

I shook my head. "You had a choice."

I could see that my words pained him.

"He would have killed me. Beat me, tortured me, until I relented. Or killed me." he shook his head. "I didn't have a choice."

I sniffed and stared hatefully at the Mark that would forever brand him as a Deatheater.

"It's still sore," he continued. He lifted his other hand and tried to wipe the tears away from my face with his thumb, but I pulled away from him. "It's still sore," he repeated, more hurt in his tone by my actions. "Even now, because I didn't want it. I still don't want it," he paused like he was waiting for me to say something, but I only stared at him, hurt playing in my own eyes.

I had always been the one to stand up for Malfoy when Harry and Ron had called him a Deatheater. I had always told them they didn't know for sure, that they couldn't make assumptions without evidence. And here it was. Clear as day. All the evidence I needed. Somehow, I felt betrayed.

"Hermione!" He begged. "Please understand!"

I wouldn't look at him.

"When they did it, I tried to resist. I tried. I didn't know what was happening at first. All these Deatheaters came to the manor. Even You-Know-Who was there. I was told we were hosting an initiation ceremony for new Deatheaters. I had no idea I would be one of them. I didn't want to attend. My father insisted. He said he had talked me up to The Dark Lord and it would be unwise for me not to attend.

"There was a meal prepared and those slimy bastards tore into it like they were at wonderful feast or something. When it was over and the dishes cleared, The Dark Lord stood and sat on a high backed chair at the other, empty side of the room. He started calling forward the names of people who would receive the Mark that night. One by one, they walked forward and stood before him like well trained dogs. When my name was called, I nearly feinted. I really did. My father pushed me forward and I had no choice but to wait my turn."

He had stopped looking at me. He was looking behind me like he was seeing the scene play out just over my shoulder. His eyes were liquid with tears, but they had stopped falling and were dried on his face.

"We had to kneel before him," Malfoy continued. "We had to kneel and beg for the Mark from him. 'Please, my Lord, allow me to serve and follow you'," he spat like it put a bad taste in his mouth just to say that. "Then, he put the tip of his wand to my outstretched arm and said some words. It burned like hell. Like he was pouring liquid fire under my skin. But the Mark wouldn't appear on my skin like it had on the others. He slapped my face and told me I didn't want it enough, that I was unwilling to serve him. I had to beg for him to try again. I didn't want to. I had to. He tried again and that one failed too. For that, he Crucioed me. Told me the pain should help remind me why I wanted it.

"It took him three failed attempts to finally brand me. The last one took forever. The Mark crept slowly onto my skin, burning and biting as it went. After it was finally on, he tortured me for ten more minutes for putting him through the trouble and as a reminder of 'how much I wanted it'. That's why it's still sore. Because I don't want it. Because it took four tries before it burned in. Because every morning I wake up and pray, before getting out of bed, that it somehow dissipated during the night."

I finally met his eyes. I didn't know if I could believe what he said. I wanted to, but it was hard.

"You need to tell Dumbledore," I said firmly.

He shook his head and reached up again to brush away my tears. This time I let him. "We've been through this," he said. "I can't."

"But you can!" I insisted.

His thumb moved so gently across my face, like I was a china doll he was afraid he'd break. "My mother," he said. "My father. They'll be killed."

"Damn them!" I yelled, surprising both myself and Draco. "They're the ones putting you through this hell, Draco!" My voice echoed around the library, much louder than I intended.

He searched my eyes in a way that told me he didn't care if they threatened to kill him, he wasn't going to put them in any more danger than was possible.

"You're just a boy, Draco! Just a teenager! You're supposed to be worrying about your grades and friends and stuff! Not this!"

His lip tremored. His hand moved to the back of my neck and his forehead came forward to rest on mine. I put my hands on his chest and moved them up and down. His chest heaved and trembled beneath my fingers. I seized him around his midsection and pulled him into a tight hug. I felt his body start to relax in my arms.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" I asked him softly.

"You don't have to," he whispered, his voice raspy and raw with tears.

"Come on," I took his hand and pulled him to the door.

I took him to the Room Of Requirement because it was closer than 'our room' and had a full sized bed for laying in instead of a sofa. We collapsed down on it and wrapped as many limbs as we could around each other. Together, we fell asleep.

I hated myself for doing it.

* * *

I woke and left before Draco did. I didn't think I could bear to look at him. I still felt hurt and betrayed, no matter how much I told myself he had no choice. No matter how much I replayed what Draco said, over and over again in my mind. Deep down, I felt that he could have run, he could have refused, or defended himself somehow. But then I would remember that there was no way he could have. It made me so angry. He couldn't do anything. He was being forced into so many things and there was nothing he could do about it. It made me even angrier that I couldn't do anything either.

In the hall, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes stumbled over to the portrait hole.

"Password?" The Fat Lady asked.

Before I could answer, the painting flew open and I had to take a few quick steps back to avoid being hit. It was Ginny. She was looking frantic and very much in a hurry. She sighed when she saw me.

"There you are!" she yelled and roughly grabbed my arm. "Come on!"

"Ginny what-?" I dug my heals into the floor, prepared to demand an explanation before I went anywhere with her.

"Hermione! Come on!" she yanked my arm. "It's Ron!" she blurted.

The blood drained from my face. "Ron?" I stammered. "What...?" breath was leaving my mouth but no words were coming out.

"He's in the hospital wing. He's been poisoned!"

I sprinted, Ginny following close behind. We burst through the hospital doors to find Professors Dumbledore, Snape, and Slughorn blocking a cot from view. I hastily moved around them and sat down on the bed next to Ron. He was pale and sleeping like the dead, but I could see his chest moving up and down with is breath. Harry was there too, standing on the other side.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said. "Good to see Miss Weasley was able to find you."

"What happened?" I asked, staring at Ron's blank features, my heart rate slowly going down now that I realized he was okay.

"Poisoned drink, am I right Severus?"

Snape nodded stiffly. "A toxic dose," he drawled. "Lucky Mr. Potter was there to save the day..."

Harry gave him a sharp look but held his tongue.

"It seems Mr. Weasly and Mr. Potter here had a drink with Slughorn only to find the drink was tampered with. Good thing Harry knew what a bezor was for."

I looked at Slughorn. It was his drink? Had he poisoned Ron?

"It was given to me as a gift," Slughorn said. He, too, was pale in the face and his eyes bugging out. "And in fact, I had intended to give it as one as well."

"To whom, may I ask, Horus?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"Why, to you Professor."

The room went dead silent. I looked from Dumbledore to Slughorn. Slughorn was shaking slightly, but Dumbledore didn't seem at all bothered or concerned by the news that he was almost gifted poisoned drink.

Behind the Professors, the door banged open and slammed shut.

"Where is he?!" a frantic voice called. "Where is my Wonwon?"

How in the world had Lavender Brown heard about this?

She ran forward and flung herself on the bed. I stiffened up, refusing to move from my best friend's bedside, even though his girlfriend was weeping and fussing over him.

Ron started to groan, capturing the attention of everyone watching.

Lavender gasped. "He senses my presence!" she cried. "I'm here Wonwon! I'm right here!"

He groaned again louder in his half-asleep state, almost like he was trying to say something.

"Her-" he broke off.

"What is it, Wonwon?" Lavender whispered.

"Her- My-"

Everyone strained their ears.

"Her- My- Knee-"

I went beet red at the same time Lavender went pale then purple.

"Hermione..." Ron called for me.

Lavender's jaw dropped and I was sure to pointedly grab Ron's hand and give her a smug look.

A screech formed in the back of her throat and came out her clenched teeth. She stood quickly and stormed out of the room. I'd never seen anyone so mad in my life.

Harry and Ginny smirked down at me.

"Shut it," I warned them.

* * *

Ron was able to leave the hospital wing the next morning. He, Harry, and I sat at the table for breakfast together just like we used to. Lavender was down the table, staring at Ron and gripping her spoon so hard it was bending and digging into the wood of the table.

"So, what happened between me and Lavender again?" Ron asked, giving her a sideways glance and being careful to avoid her eyes.

"You sort of broke it off," I said before Harry could respond. "While you were asleep, you said some things."

"What did I say?" he asked, almost sounding relieved.

"I don't remember. The bigger question is who poisoned Slughorn's drink and why," I changed the subject.

"Malfoy," Harry said, without missing a beat. And for the first time I could believe it.

"Harry-" I started, but just then, Draco had chosen to walk into the Great Hall.

I stared at him. His features were sunken and his face was pale. Harry noticed I was looking at something and turned to see. Draco stopped dead in this tracks when he noticed us looking at him. Our eyes met and his face told me everything; he had poisoned the drink. I shook my head just enough for him to see I was upset. He clenched his jaw and turned on his heal, exiting the Great Hall without putting anything in his stomach.

Harry turned back around. "It was him, I know it."

I sat back, still shaking my head. Suddenly, I didn't feel so much like eating.

"You alright, Hermione? You look a bit sick," Ron asked.

I pressed my lips together and nodded. "Just a headache," I mumbled.

"Anyway," said Harry, lifting his Potions book from the table. "You have the Half Blood Prince to thank for saving you, mate."

Ron raised his eyebrow.

"If I didn't have this book," Harry said, looking pointedly at me, "I wouldn't have known about the bezor."

"Yes you would," I interjected. "Snape clearly mentioned them in our first year, on our _first_ day of class."

He looked at me blankly. "Like I said, I wouldn't have known about the bezor if it wasn't for the Half Blood Prince."

"You would if you paid attention."

"So thank _him_, Ron," Harry said, ignoring what I'd said and making a point of how wonderful the Half Blood Prince was.

"Right," said Ron. "Next time I see him."

The rest of the day I couldn't keep my mind off him again, Draco. But this time it wasn't a good thing. He was gone from classes again, but that didn't stop my mind from wandering to where he probably was. I had faith in him, I realized. At some point, I had trusted him and out faith in that he was trying to be a better person. But that faith was quickly dwindling away the more I learned about what was happening with him. I began to hate myself for sitting with him that night, for holding his hand, for sleeping next to him, and for letting him kiss me. I couldn't hate _him. _And for that, too, I hated myself.

* * *

**A/N: Happy Christmas, Hanuka, Kwanzaa, and what ever other holidays happen around this time! I'm publishing this a little earlier than I intended, but I couldn't wait to give it to you. I worked hard on it, it's about 8,000 words long which is at least 6,000 more words than I normally write, but I wanted to give you something long and a little fluffy for the holidays!**

**Please don't forget to make my holiday with a lovely review!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	15. Prove It

**Prove it**

"Hermione."

It wasn't that he said my first name instead of my last that made me stop. It was the way he said it.

All week I'd been avoiding him. Making sure not to make eye contact, turning the opposite way in the hall when I saw him coming, staying far away from 'our room' or the Room Of Requirement where he might have been. I felt so guilty for doing it. I could only imagine how lonely he must have felt, how afraid. _He almost killed Ron!_ I reminded myself. That one thought was enough to keep me angry at him.

But it made me think. He hadn't meant to poison Ron. He'd meant to poison Slughorn. But why had he meant to kill anyone at all? That cabinet, the one he'd been mending, the one he said was to sneak Deatheaters in, it had to be deeper than that. Voldemort didn't just tell Malfoy to sneak Deatheaters in for no reason. He didn't just make Draco a Deatheater for the fun of it, however much fun he probably had. There was something big coming. And I was willing to bet it had to do with the cabinet, Draco, and the poison.

These thoughts kept me up at night. They kept me from concentrating in class and eating at lunch. They kept me avoiding Draco and they constantly kept me on the edge. I was in a state of much distress. I _needed _to tell Harry, but my blasted concern for Draco kept me from it. I _needed _to insist Draco tell Dumbledore, but my anger kept me from doing that.

Merlin I was angry at him! That kept me on my toes too. It was like I was back in first year again. Turing the opposite direction when Malfoy came sauntering down the hall, retreating into a darker corner of the library in case he happened to come in. Yet, today I let my guard down. He'd finally caught up to me when I was alone. But if it wasn't for that bloody tone in his voice, I wouldn't have stopped walking down the empty corridor. I wouldn't have just stood there with my back to him as his footsteps slowly approved me. And I sure as heck wouldn't have turned around when he said the words that make my teeth grind and my heart melt at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

I could feel the heat from his body on my back. He was close. So when I turned around, I knew exactly where he would be standing.

In one swift movement, I spun around, brought up my hand, and smacked him hard across the face. Just a little harder than I'd meant to.

His face jerked to the side. The loud crack of my hand on his cheek echoed dully in the empty hall. He righted himself, bringing a hand up to massage the sting out of his cheek were an angry red hand print was rising.

"You could have killed him," I whispered. My words were ice cold. He winced at them.

"I never meant for Weasley to drink that."

"Oh! Well that makes it so much better!" the sarcasm in my voice was practically tangible. "You never meant to almost kill _Ron_. Just Slughorn!"

"I don't want to kill anyone," his hand was still on his cheek like he'd forgotten to put it down.

"It's not whether or not you wanted to, it's the fact that you tried to!"

"Hermione, I'm sorry," he was quiet. His voice was full of regret, I could hear it clearly.

His hand moved from his cheek to mine as he said that. I'd missed the feeling of his hand on my cheek. It had only been a week, and I didn't realize it until then, but I missed the feeling of his fingers grazing my temple. I leaned into him for a second until I remembered what he'd said.

"Sorry means you'll never do it again," I said, jerking my face out of his hand.

"I won't do it again. I promise," his hand dropped to my neck and snaked around the back where his fingers went up and tangled in my hair.

Why did that have to feel so good?

"Prove it," I said simply.

His hand dropped. "How?"

"Go to Dumbledore."

What colour was left in his face drained.

"Go to him now and tell him everything you told me. Tell him everything you're not telling me."

His bottom jaw quivered like he wanted to say something but couldn't spit it out.

"I know there's more to this than just you sneaking Deatheaters in. I don't know what, but I know it's larger than that."

My words were hanging in the air like fog. Draco's eyes were searching the space around my face like he was trying to meet my eyes but couldn't find them.

"And I can tell you're trying to fight it. The scars around that Mark on your arm is proof of that. You're just too damn proud and afraid to ask for help. But this is bigger than you, Draco. You _need _help. There's only one person who can help you, and your parents, and anyone else caught in this who doesn't want to be. Dumbledore."

He finally looked at me. His eyes were glistening. I could tell he was thinking hard. I could also tell he was scared out of his mind.

"You just have to go to him. That's all you have to do. All you have to do to save yourself, to save your parents, and prove to me that you're sorry."

The silence that followed what I'd said was deafening. I pleaded him with my eyes. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes were wide and scared, the hand on my neck was shaking.

He licked his lips and looked down at a spot on my neck. With a lurch I realized just how much I cared about him. He'd been an insufferable git before, and other slimy phrases you could use, but I'd seen his weak side. I'd seen a side I was almost sure no one had ever seen before of him. And I'd seen a side that seemed to care about me, despite what I had been to him in the past.

Perhaps it was me just being far too nice of a person, but I didn't want him to suffer. No sixteen year old boy deserved to be going through was he was.

So, in one final attempt to save him, I reached up and pulled his hand from off my neck and held it between my hands. I didn't look at him, I looked only at his hand between mine, but I could feel him watching me closely.

I turned his hand over so that it rested palm up in my left hand, and with my right, began to unfasten the buttons of his uniform from around his wrist.

He didn't pull away or jerk or ask me what I was doing. His hand stayed perfectly still while I rolled up his sleeve to his elbow. The Dark Mark stood out against his pale skin, outlined with a harsh red line that swelled out.

As delicately as I could, I leaned over and touched my lips to the hot and marred skin of The Mark.

I heard him hiss in pain and felt the muscles in his arm tense under my lips, but I didn't move them. I kept them pressed gently on his forearm.

After a moment, I straitened up and looked at him, but didn't let go.

"Don't let this Mark control who you are, Draco," I whispered. "Let it show what you fought through to become who you want to be."

He swallowed hard and looked down at The Mark on his arm.

I seemed to wait an eternity for him to decide. He stared at the Mark for the longest time, swallowing, breathing deeply, and trying to cover up the fact that his hands were shaking.

Finally, he answered.

"Okay," he croaked. I almost didn't hear it. He cleared his throat and repeated himself louder. "Okay."

It felt like a huge weight suddenly lifted from my chest. I could breathe again.

"Just- Hermione?" he looked back up at me. The fear in his eyes seemed to have doubled. "Will you stay with me? When I tell Dumbledore, will you stay next to me?"

A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I grabbed his hand and threaded my fingers through his, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"Of course I will," I said. And I found that my own throat was becoming sore from straining to keep a sob of relief from escaping.

* * *

**A/N: Ahh. I loved writing this chapter for some reason. So many emotions!**

**Hope everyone had a great New Year! If not, I'm sorry, I hope things get better for you.**

**Please review! My inspiration is fueled by your review!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	16. Help

**Help**

I should have realized that it wouldn't be that easy. Draco had said he'd go to Dumbledore and I could tell that he meant it, but when I looked in his eyes I could see he was struggling.

Ten o'clock Friday night. That's when he agreed to do it. I was going to 'forget' about an assignment around nine thirty that I had to do right then and run to the 'library'. Draco told me it wouldn't be a problem for him sneaking out of the Slytherin common room. He said that no one but Zabini ever asked him what he was doing any more, and if Zabini did happen to ask him where he was going, Draco could easily tell him it was none of his business.

We'd also agreed to meet ahead of time in our room by the astronomy tower.

The days leading up to Friday were torture. I was just as nervous as Draco was. And we hadn't spoken for almost two days, which made it worse. I kept seeing him though. In class, across the room in the Great Hall, the back of his head as he walked to his next class. I needed to feel him.

I needed someone to talk to as well. Not Draco, someone I could talk about Draco with. I needed a girl to talk with. The problem was, I didn't really have many girl friends. And I couldn't tell Ginny, because if she knew, the whole school knew. I was going to burst. One day I'd be sitting in the library and I'd think about Draco and get this urge to tell someone and wind up scaring the daylights out of some poor first year girl who didn't even know who I was.

Anyway, the day of Draco's confession to Dumbledore was fast approaching. Each day it seemed harder and harder to breathe. By Friday, I'd caught myself holding my breath three times. After this was over I'd be able to breathe freely.

That night, just like I'd planned, I sat in the Gryffindor common room over a book.

I kept checking my watch discretely when I knew neither Ron nor Harry would see .

Finally. Nine thirty came. I took a deep breath, ready to put on my hysterical act, when the portrait hole smashed open.

Ginny ran into the room, slamming the door shut behind her. She looked like a train wreck. Her hair was all over the place, her face was red and splotchy, and mascara was running down her cheeks and smeared across her eyes in thick black lines.

I jumped up. "Ginny? What's the matter?"

"You were right!" she yelled in hysteria. "You're always bloody right, Hermione! Dean and I are no good!" she smudged her makeup even more by grinding the back of her hand into her eyes. "If I ever try to get back with that- that-!" she pointed in the direction she came from in disgust and at a loss for words. "I want you to push me off a cliff!"

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, gingerly placing a hand on her forearm. She had murder in her eyes.

"I'm going to kill him!" she screeched.

Harry, Ron, and I looked at each other at a loss.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Ginny," said Ron.

She wheeled on him. "What do you know, Ron?!" he looked up at her in terror from where he was sitting on the ground. "You can't even talk to Brown!"

"Well, I don't think that has much to do with murder!" he spat back at her and soon they were both flaming in the face.

"She wants to _murder_ _you!_" the red haired witch yelled.

"She doesn't _actually _want to murder me!"

I thought about the look in Lavender's eye the day after Ron was poisoned. She seemed very capable of murder.

"Oh really?!" Ginny howled. "Why don't you ask her yourself? She's on the way up here! I saw her talking to some Hufflepuffs about you! And boy was she pissed!" Ginny fueled her anger from Dean out on Ron.

Ron went pale. "She's on her way up here now?"

Ginny nodded wickedly and Ron stumbled to his feet.

"Uh- goodnight, Harry. Hermione. I think it's time I got to bed."

"You cowered!" Ginny yelled at him as he hustled up the steps to the Boys' Dorm.

Harry stood up slowly behind a shaking Ginny and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Ginny."

"It's not okay!" she hollered.

I took a step forward. If anyone was actually trying to sleep now, anywhere in Hogwarts, Ginny's shrieking was sure to keep them awake. Plus, the yelling was getting on my nerves.

"Gin, calm down. He's just a stupid boy," I said as gently as I could.

She whirled on me now. She looked as angry as a warrior and her mascara was her war paint.

"Don't you lecture me about 'stupid boys', Hermione Granger! I _know_ you've been sneaking off with someone! So don't give me this whole 'boys are stupid, you don't need one, dating is dumb' bullshit!"

I furrowed my brow angrily. Now I'd had enough. I opened my mouth to retort, but the portrait hole swung open with a bang, and an equally furious Lavender Brown stormed in.

"Where is he?" she shrieked. "I've had enough of him avoiding me! I'm going to kill him!"

"In the boy's dormitory," said Ginny, pointing to the stares.

Lavender looked at her and noticed me standing behind Ginny. Lavender's eyes flashed with anger.

"You!" she said, pointing a purple nail at me. "What did you do to him?! Ron loved me and as soon as he wound up in the Hospitable Wing he didn't! What did you put in his drink? A love potion? Is that why he mumbled your name?!" her voice rose both in pitch and tone.

"He'd been poisoned, you daft bimbo!" I couldn't help but yell at her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry scamper up the stairs to the boys' dorm. I couldn't blame him. I'd be terrified if three girls started shrieking at each other, too.

"You're an idiot, Brown!" Ginny yelled.

Lavender's eyes got round as saucers. "Look who's talking, Weasley! At least I haven't clung to a guy who hated me all year!"

"Are you kidding me? Ron doesn't love you! Haven't you noticed the way he's been avoiding you since before you gave him that necklace for Christmas? Or were you too stupid to notice?"

"It's her!" Lavender flew her finger at me again. "She's been giving him love potions!"

My face turned red hot. I threw up my hands, picked up my book, and left.

My feet slapped heavily down the corridor. I muttered angrily under my breath. I_ give Ron a love potion? Lavender wishes that's what it was so that she doesn't have to accept that Ron can't stand her anymore!_

_"_Sorry I'm late," I huffed as I opened the door to our room. "I had a row with Lavender and Ginny."

Draco was seated at the table with his face in his hands. I set my book down across from him and place my hand gingerly on his shoulder like I had done the first time I found him in the Room Of Requirement.

"Are you okay?"

He looked up. There was moisture in his eyes that he hastily wiped away with his sleeve.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, sniffing. "I'm fine. What was your fight over?"

I looked at him in worry for a moment and then sat down across from him. It was nine fifty. We had a little time.

"A lot of things," I sighed. "Ginny broke up with Dean, and Ron broke up with Lavender and she was trying to blame me for it. Said I gave him a love potion."

Draco smirked despite his state. "Girls are weird."

I raised my eyebrows and blinked. "Boys are weird," I retaliated and then thought for a moment. Girls _were_ weird, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

He shrugged and rubbed his face. I started to calm down. The anger I felt toward Lavender and Ginny burned off my head and floated away.

Watching the complex textures and colours in Draco's irises helped me relax. The human eye was truly amazing. It wasn't just one solid colour. When you looked close enough, you could see that multiple shades were overlapping and twisting to make the colour you see far away. Draco's left eye had a freckle. A little dot on the edge of his iris that was darker than the rest. I stared at it.

"Are you okay?" I asked him again.

This time he answered truthfully. "No."

I nodded.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "I'm mean, why do you care? I was an ass to you. Why are you doing this for me?"

"You were an ass to me," I agreed. Sighing, I picked at the wood on the table. "I don't know," I shrugged. "It's the right thing to do, isn't it? Plus, I don't think you deserve what you're going through."

"You don't think I deserve this after how I treated you?"

I gave him the simple answer. "No."

"You're way too nice, Granger."

"Maybe."

It was quiet.

I checked my watch. "We should go."

He nodded and blinked back nervous tears.

I bravely took his hand.

* * *

There was a soft flicker of candle light pouring out from under Dumbledore's office door. The professor was probably pouring over some late night papers or finishing a read in a particularly good book.

Draco's hand shifted uncomfortably in mine.

"You're doing the right thing," I whispered to him.

He looked down at me and gave a grimace that I assumed was supposed to be a smile. I surprised myself by standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips briefly on his cheek.

I rapped on the door before I had time to think about what I did and blush.

There was the sound of rustling papers and then Dumbledore's voice. "Come in."

He looked quite shocked to see us from behind his desk. "Mr. Malfoy. Ms. Granger," he nodded at each of us and briefed over our faces. His sparkling eyes lingered on our entwined fingers for a moment. "What can I help you with?"

Draco hesitated a moment and then exploded.

"I'm a Deatheater!" he started with, and Dumbledore's eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Go on..." said Dumbledore

Draco told Dumbledore everything he'd told me. About the cabinet, the Mark, the poison. He even confessed that the cursed necklace Katie Bell had touched was him as well.

Dumbledore watched him calmly. When Draco finished speaking, Dumbledore continued to watch him with a face as unreadable as a blank page.

"Professor," I spoke up. "Remember, he was being forced. He's coming for help..."

"I am aware of that, Hermione," said Dumbledore. "I'm waiting for Draco to continue."

I looked up at Draco who had his face pointed toward the floor.

"There _is_ more, isn't there, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco cleared his throat. "He- uh- _Voldemort _wants me to kill you."

My eyes widened in terror. I looked frantically from the old man behind the desk to the blond man beside me. Dumbledore's face was still expressionless. He seemed to be thinking. The papers on his desk shuffled.

"This new news has certainly brought us a new light on what is going on on Voldemort's side," he finally said. "Very useful indeed."

Fingers tightened against mine.

"I beg you allow me sometime to think things over," said Dumbledore and Draco nodded. "In the meantime, carry on as though you never spoke to me. It is important that Voldemort know nothing. Say nothing to anyone. Not even Mr. Potter," he looked at me. "I must talk to the Order." Dumbledore got up from his desk and began pacing in front of us. "They will be able to protect you, Mr. Malfoy, and your parents, but there are certain things we must discuss."

"Thank you, professor," Draco said, his voice, like Dumbledore's face, was hard to determine.

"Yes, yes," he said distracted. "Return to your beds like normal, both of you, don't stop mending the cabinet, least Voldemort discovers us, and goodnight."

Draco and I nodded and turned to the door.

"Uh- Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore added just as Draco's hand was on the handle. "May I have a word with you alone please?"

I looked up nervously at Draco who was paler than usual and still shaky. He nodded slightly.

I knew what the word 'alone' meant, so I sat outside his office on the floor and waited. I could hear muffled voices but couldn't make out the what they were saying. I leaned my head against the wall and tried to imagine that Dumbledore was making arrangements to have Draco protected.

After what seemed like hours, the door open and Draco came out, sullen faced.

I jumped up and grabbed his hand, but he was stiff. "What did he say to you?" I asked even though it wasn't my place.

Draco refused to look at me. He stared at the stone ground and swallowed hard.

"Dumbledore doesn't think it's a good idea for us to be together."

* * *

**A/N: You guys are awesome! I got so many terrific reviews last time! Made my day! Please keep on reviewing!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	17. Until Next time

**Until Next time**

You know that feeling you get when someone tells you something you knew was coming but refused to see it anyway? That feeling like someone whacked you in the head but numbed you before you could feel it so that you were just dazed and swaying, knowing that it should hurt but you can't feel anything? You feel confused, and hazy, and for a moment, nothing really makes any sense.

It only takes a millisecond for it to happen, but it's the worst millisecond of your life.

And then you feel tired and brittle. All that hope you had just a moment before, even though the inevitable was staring you straight in the face, suddenly whooshes out the top of your head, and that blow earlier, you start to feel that. But on the inside. Behind your eyes. In your stomach. Under your fingernails.

Next you experience one of three emotions. Anger. Despair. Or both.

For me, it was both.

But not at the same time.

First, I felt the confusion.

I blinked at Draco and withdrew my hand from his like it was a hot plate.

"What?"

Draco straightened himself and stuck out his chin, trying to look proud through his trembling lip. "He said that whatever is going on between us is too dangerous," his voice was still groggy, but his tone was definite. "He said it's too formidable that someone find out. That someone notice something is off and alert Voldemort."

I closed my eyes, swaying a bit. I placed my hand against the wall to steady myself. The harsh grooves in the bricks helped me think.

What was happening? I felt like sitting down, but it would take too much effort.

Second, I felt the pain.

_"Dumbledore doesn't think it's a good idea for us to be together,"_ pounded continuously in my temples.

I knew this would happen, that's why I worked hard at keeping what had happened between Draco and myself a secret, yet it still shocked me. We weren't _supposed _to be together, I knew that, so I'd lied to myself. I'd told myself that I was only doing this for Draco. I was only doing this to help him. I believed myself, too. So why did it hurt this bad to be told we couldn't be together?

"What did you say?" I croaked. "After Dumbledore said that, what did you say?"

He wouldn't look at me. His face was pointed strait forward so that I couldn't see the expression on his face.

"I didn't say anything," he said, monotone.

I curled my fingers and felt the bricks in the wall scrape against my knuckles. I half hoped they were bleeding.

Third, I felt anger.

My fists shook.

"Why did Dumbledore tell you that?" my voice began to rise. "He can't say things like that!"

I saw Draco's golden lashes come down and cover his eyes, but the rest of him didn't move.

"I need to talk to him," I concluded. "I need to tell him that what happens between you and me is- is- just for comfort!"

He looked at me then.

I pushed off from the wall, avoiding his face, and began pacing in front of Dumbledore's door.

"Just for comfort?" I heard him whisper.

Four, I felt the despair. Hopelessness.

Looking at him, my eyes glazed over and his image blurred. His dark clothes made him look forbidding, but his light hair made a halo over his head.

"Right?" I said. "Isn't that what you were doing? Ins't that why you ate with me, and slept with me, and kissed me? Wasn't it just for comfort?"

I began to realize that if Draco asked me the same thing, I'd have to say no. It began that way, the fist time I saw him, weak and brittle, I stayed with him because we had both been hurting. I stayed with him because of comfort. But despite how badly I'd fought it, it became something more than that for me. I guess I only assumed that Draco did these things to keep himself feeling something and to keep himself alive. Also part of why I kept telling myself this was just for him.

"No."

I choked. "What?"

He took a strong step toward me. "No." I blinked and tears slid out my eyes. His thumb came up and gently rolled over the streams. "At first, it was because I was confused and scared. I needed it. I still need it. But if I didn't, it wouldn't matter."

I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand.

"Me too," I whispered.

There is one thing I forgot to mention about what I said before. There's one more step. In my opinion, it's the worst. It makes you forget everything you just felt. It's like obliviating your memory of everything you thought of to get yourself here.

Fifth, I accepted it.

Dumbledore may not have been the sanest, but he was the wisest wizard I knew. If he thought it was a bad idea that Draco and I were together, it probably was.

"So this is it," I said.

Draco pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and sucked on it while his eyebrows rested low on his forehead. Then he pressed his lips together and swallowed.

I sighed largely and searched for that freckle in his eye. In the short time I started to notice it, I became quite fond of that one freckle. This was probably the last time I'd get to see it.

"Maybe after this is over," I whispered. "After you're safe we could-" I broke off. The look in his eyes made me lose my breath.

"Have dinner again?" he finished for me. It wasn't exactly what I'd planned on saying, but it made me smile, just for a moment.

"Yeah."

His thumb brushed under my eye making my eyelids flutter.

"Can I have a kiss?" he asked. "Just one more to say so long?"

"Until next time," I made sure to add before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him in.

He kissed away my tears. I could taste them on his lips. His arm came around my waist and hugged me away from the hard wall and into his soft arms. I pushed forward, ramming my lips into his, bruising both of ours. My heartbeat went a mile a minute.

His hips pushed my butt against the wall and he started trailing kisses along my jaw line. I gripped the back of his shirt and my breathing became ragged. His lips found a sensitive spot, just behind my ear, and I moaned and arched my back as he sucked a bruise from it and bit down gently. He kissed his way back up to my lips and gave them a nibble before kissing the corner of my mouth and slowly making his way to my other ear.

I shivered as his tongue came out and probed the sensitive spot, and his arm around my waist wrapped tighter. My head fell back against the and he sunk his teeth in and sucked on the skin just behind my ear. My chest was burning like a red hot poker.

I wiggled my hips against his and doubled the amount of his shirt between my fingers. How was I going to live without this? I could do it, that wasn't a question, but how? I didn't know. Gods I needed him. My body ached when I thought about the time we would have to wait. It ached all over, not just to feel him, but to see him and talk to him.

He pulled his lips away from my neck and brought them back up to my mouth again. His lips grazed delicately over mine this time. His breath was ragged too. It tasted like Draco. I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth and gently sucked on it, pulling a soft moan from the back of his throat. He pulled his lip from my teeth and gave me a lingering kiss before pulling away.

"I'm going to kill Dumbledore," he gave a low growl.

"Well, You-Know-Who thinks you are," I said, trying to lighten the mood, but I only felt my heart sink farther.

I savored every moment of this. Every taste, touch, feel, I made sure to remember. Because, even though we'd said 'so long' and 'until next time', this kiss felt more like 'farewell'.

* * *

I went to bed exhausted. Flinging down, I didn't even bother to change or braid my hair like I usually did so it wouldn't be a nightmare to comb in the morning.

With the hangings pulled shut around my bed and the covers over my head, I curled in a ball and told myself over and over what I always tried to explain to Ginny and tried not to cry.

_He's just a stupid boy. _

_You don't need a man to be strong._

_Obviously it's not meant to be._

But this was different from a break up. Draco and I weren't breaking up. I wasn't even sure if we'd technically been 'together'. And we didn't have a choice. Not really. Dumbledore thought it was best and it probably was.

At some point, I stopped chanting those words and started with others. I didn't know I'd done it, but it did some, very little, but some to make me feel better.

_It's to save him._

_It's to save Dumbledore._

_It's to save the school._

_It's to save me._

_It's to save him._

Finally, I drifted off to sleep, but it wasn't long before I heard the beeping of my alarm on my watch.

I turned it off and rolled over. It was Saturday, I'd just forgotten to turn it off earlier.

I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. I just tossed madly back and forth.

Finally, I just decided to get up and go to breakfast early.

Padding to the bathroom, I yawned. I really hadn't gotten much sleep.

I sighed when I caught a glimpse of my hair in the mirror. It was a rat's nest of tangles. I worked my comb through it, the snarls bringing tears to my eyes with each yank.

I was sweating by the time I finished with one half of my hair. I threw it over my shoulder, letting fresh air hit my sweaty neck, when I noticed the circular mark behind my ear.

Checking that I was alone, I leaned forward and examined the bruise behind my ear in the mirror. Draco had left his brand on my neck. I checked behind my other ear, and sure enough, an almost identical purple dot was there too.

I finished combing my hair and pulled it in front of my ears so that no one would see the marks. I could have put a glamour charm on them, but I left them be. In fact, if I could have, I would have put a charm on them to keep them longer.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for the beautiful reviews! Please keep 'em comin'! **


	18. Macbeth

**Macbeth**

It had become considerably warmer. The snow had fully melted and the lake thawed. The weather was in perfect conditions for a trip to Hogsmeade. That's were I was. With Ron and Harry and Ginny. Neither Ron nor Ginny were in the best of moods. Lavender was apparently still trying to attack Ron in the halls and Ginny was absolutely fuming with Dean. I wasn't feeling so cheerful myself. In fact, the only one in our posse that seemed to be happy at all was Harry. He was practically skipping from shop to shop and spent quite a few galleons on sweets in Honey Dukes.

At first I thought his Joy perhaps came from Ginny and Dean's break up. He could fool others, but I could see the way he looked at Ginny and I knew Ginny and Dean's fight opened doors for Harry that he was hesitant yet itching to go through. But he didn't seem quite as flirtatious with Ginny as I thought he would be. Perhaps he was just waiting for some time to pass between Ginny's break up, I concluded, and then pinned that maybe some of his chipper nature came from the beautiful weather. It was hard to be upset in the glowing sun and freshly rained upon grass, but he just seemed a little _too_ happy.

We ended our excursion with a stop at The Three Broomsticks for a couple Butterbeers. We sat down with glasses in hand at a table in the back, next the window so we could continue to enjoy the beautiful day, even from inside.

Harry took a large gulp of his Butterbeer and hummed happily.

I narrowed my eyes and stared at him suspiciously. When he saw me watching him, he smiled and took another swig.

"Okay," I said. "What?"

His eyebrows shot up and he put on an innocent expression. "What what?"

"You know what," I scolded and he cracked a mischievous smile again. "Now what?"

"I'm confused," Ron said, staring between us.

"Isn't it odd how extremely happy Harry is being?" I asked Ginny and Ron.

Harry looked down at his drink, still smiling.

"Isn't he allowed to be happy?" Ginny asked.

"Yes- but-," I stammered.

"I've figured it out," Harry confessed before I could ask him again.

"Figured what out?"

"Figured out what Malfoy's doing."

I stiffened at Draco's name. It had been awhile since I saw him just as Dumbledore had asked. He was in class more often since he'd told Dumbledore about everything, but I did my best to avoid him. I told myself it would make it easier in the long run if I tried to ignore Draco now. But it was anything but easy. I could feel his body pulling on me, dragging me in. It was the worst.

"You- you did?" I asked Harry. I tried not to sound worried but I was no actress.

"Yes! He's been going to the Room Of Requirement almost every day. -With lookouts!" he added brightly.

"L-lookouts?"

"Yep. Crabe and Goyle stand like two beefeaters in front of the wall."

I didn't know whether to breath easy that Draco was using two lookouts too stupid to understand what he was doing, or freak out because he was using two lookouts too stupid not to give out information on accident.

"So what's he doing in there?" Ron asked.

"That I haven't figured out yet," replied Harry. "But I bet it has something to do with him being a Deatheater."

I set my cup down on the table more harsh than I meant to, making the glass ring.

"For the last time! You have no proof that he's a Deatheater!"

"And you have proof that he's not?" Ron asked.

"I- well-"

"It's so obvious, Hermione! You can't keep thinking that everyone is actually a good person underneath. Especially Malfoy. I mean, you'd think that after all the things he's said to you you'd realize he's more than just an asshole. He's always wanted to be a Deatheater. You remember him in second year, wishing he could help kill the muggleborns."

"You don't think that he might not have a choice?" I spat.

"Everyone has a choice of whether or not they're a git," said Harry.

"I'm talking about his choice in becoming a Deatheater," I was saying too much, going too far, but I couldn't stop myself. I opened my mouth and words fell out, whether I intended them to or not. I was Hermione Granger, that's kind of how I worked.

"Hold on," Harry held up his hand. "Didn't you basically say, ten seconds ago that Malfoy wasn't a Deatheater? Now it sounds like you're saying he is, and for some reason, defending him for being so. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!" I could see that this conversation was about to take a very nasty turn. "I just think you should give people the benefit of the doubt!"

"I _have_ no doubt," he said.

"Me either," said Ron.

I looked desperately at Ginny, who had been quiet the whole conversation. She was frowning and looking at me with some odd expression.

"He's an asshole who grew up in a family of Deatheaters," she said. "That's all I'm going to say. You three know him better than I do."

"What if they're forcing him to become a Deatheater?" I said and Harry and Ron rolled their eyes.

"Why are you defending him, Hermione?" Ron asked, the side of his nose wrinkled in confusion.

"I'm not defending him!" I was defending him. "I don't know whether he's a Deatheater or not," I did know he was a Deatheater. "but if he is, I think it's probably because of his family," I knew it was because of his family. "I'm done talking," I stood up swiftly before Ron or Harry could retort, and left The Three Broomsticks.

I went to the little book store down the street, knowing it was the only place that could take away the things I didn't want to think about. Walking up and down the rows of books, I looked, but didn't really see which book was which. Anyway, it didn't matter. I pulled one from the shelf and flipped it over to read what it was about.

"Hermione?"

I jumped and turned to find Ginny standing at the end of the shelf.

She walked over to me slowly and then leaned against the book shelf.

I raised my eyebrows at her as if to ask 'what?'.

"What's going on with you?" she asked.

The question surprised me so much I didn't have time to think of an answer.

"Nothing-" she stopped, seeming to have a hard time saying the sentence. "Nothing's going on between you or Malfoy is there?"

I nearly dropped my book. Opening my mouth, hoping an answer would drop out, Ginny stopped me before I could say anything.

"And before you lie to me, I want you to know that I've seen the way you look at him."

I felt my cheeks go redder than Ginny's hair and I began to feel a bit lightheaded.

I didn't know what to say, or how to answer. She obviously knew something was going on, and it was Ginny, so there was no way I could lie my way out of it. So I did what anyone would do in my situation. I blurt out the first thing that came to mind.

"Harry likes you," I slapped my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I hadn't even told Harry himself that I knew he had a thing for Ginny. I felt like I was betraying him by telling a secret he had or something.

But Ginny only rolled her eyes. "I _knew _that. I'm not blind, Hermione. I _did _notice you and Malfoy staring at each other across the Great Hall. And not in the way you were supposed to be."

"I think you and Harry would be great together." I said, desperately trying to change the subject.

"You're avoiding my question, Hermione."

I fanned myself with the book in my hands. "Am I? What question?"

"What. Is. Going. On. Between. You. And. Malfoy?" she enunciated each word carefully. "Honestly, I don't care what it is, I just want to know what's going on to make sure you're safe."

"Well," I said, clearing my throat. "I can assure you that I am in no danger, because nothing is going on!"

"Fine! When you're ready to tell me, know that my door is always open."

With that, she stormed off, I imagine, much like I had from The Three Broomsticks.

I sighed, grimaced, and squeezed my eyes shut. Great! Now Ginny Knew something was up.

"You're a horrible liar," someone whispered in my ear.

I jumped forward and looked around, but couldn't find anyone.

"Granger! Over here," the whisper came from behind the books in the shelf.

I leaned forward and peered through them into two grey eyes. One had a tiny freckle on the edge of the iris.

"We're not supposed to be talking, Malfoy."

"Yeah, but you missed me."

I frowned. He seemed a bit too happy. Like Harry had been, and I automatically tried to come up with reasons why.

"I didn't miss you," that was more than a lie.

"Like I said, you're a horrible liar."

"You missed me."

"No."

"_You're _a horrible liar."

Even though I couldn't see his mouth, his eyes told me he was smiling.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "You never come to Hogsmeade anymore."

"I wanted to get you a parting gift."

"A parting gift?" I frowned. "We haven't spoken to each other in almost a month."

"Does that mean you don't want it?"

"No- I- what is it?"

I could practically _feel_ him smirking.

"Any book you choose."

"I don't like being made to choose," I said.

"Then I'll buy you the one in your hands."

I looked down at the book. I hadn't really gotten a chance to read what it was about.

"But then I'll have to buy you a parting gift."

"No you don't. Just give me the book."

His face disappeared from the space in between the books and his hand replaced it. I had the strong impulse to reach out and grab him, but I place the book in his hand instead.

It was quiet for a moment while he looked down at the book I'd handed him.

"This sounds like garbage," he said. "Never mind, I'm picking out the book for you."

"Hey!" I said and walked briskly around to the other side where Draco and placed the book I'd given him back on the shelf. He was coaxing another down from higher up with his wand. "I wanted that book!"

"Then buy it yourself, I'm buying you a much better one. My favourite actually."

"And which is that?" I asked as the book lowered into his hands.

"Macbeth," he flashed me the cover as he walked passed.

I started. "That's a muggle book!"

He stopped and looked at the cover then back at me. "It is not."

"Yes it is!" I insisted. "It was written by Shakes-"

"-Shakespeare. Who was _not_ a muggle."

"But he was!"

He raised his eyebrows daringly at me and then opened the book.

"Three witches," he said pointedly. "All animaguses. Oh, and what's this, 'double double, toil and trouble, something wicked this way comes'. Is that not the song the Hogwarts choir sings every year?"

"Those things came from his imagination! It's just a coincidence! And who says that the Hogwarts choir didn't steal those lyrics? Just admit that your favorite book is by a muggle. It's not a big deal."

"He's a wizard, Granger. Now, I'm going to go buy this book. Don't follow me."

"I'm not stupid," I retorted.

"I didn't say you were."

"We shouldn't be talking now."

"That's why you should go."

"And you shouldn't be buying me that book."

"Yeah, but I want to, and I'm a Malfoy, so..."

"We can't keep doing this. Talking to each other like this, I mean. We have to go back to the way we were. Obviously Dumbledore doesn't think it's safe. And he's the wisest man I know..."

"Then this is the last time. Again." He added.

"Okay."

"Now leave so I can pay for this," he held up the book.

I nodded and swallowed angrily at the lump in my throat.

I was halfway out the door when I realized that we hadn't figured out a way he could get me my book. And of course I had to buy something for him, but how was I supposed to get it to him if we were going to keep a distance from each other? But it was too late. As the door shut behind me, Harry, Ron, and Ginny spotted me from where they were waiting on the left side of the shop.

I was actually surprised they waited for me after the storm out I did on the two boys and the storm out Ginny did on me.

"Hermione Granger comes out of a bookstore with no books?" Ron asked, looking at my empty arms. "What is this?"

Shrugging, I said, "I didn't bring enough money."

"I can lend you some money if there was a book you really wanted," said Harry.

"No, it's fine," I said, walking away from the bookstore. And Draco Malfoy. Again. And for what probably wouldn't be the last time.

* * *

**A/N: Eh. I'm not particularly fond with this chapter. Eh. But it's been a while, so.**

**Kisses! Kisses to all of the wonderful reviewers on last chapter! Mwah!**

**Sorry again about the wait. I just finished the manuscript on my nonff novel and I wanted to take a break from writing for awhile. Obviously that didn't happen because I'm too addicted to writing. :P**

**Please continue reviewing, you wonderful people! **

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	19. Star Gazing

**Star Gazing**

This wasn't supposed to be happening. How had I gotten here anyway? I looked up at the endless expanse of stars above my head and felt a chill as the breezed swept through the trees and tried to brush the blanket off. It was the warmest night it had been all year, but still, it was chilly.

But to answer my earlier question I have to back to about four hours ago. When the sun was still up and warm, and I was innocently walking to Draco and my room. Thinking back on it, it was pretty stupid. I had to have thought something was going to happen. In fact, that was probably why I went, subconsciously of course.

I held a package in my hands as a went that contained my farewell gift to Draco. It had been the hardest present I'd ever bought. What do you get for someone who already has everything? Initially, I intended on giving him a book, perhaps another piece by Shakespeare, but changed my mind. I always used to get people books because I thought there was no one who didn't like a good book, but I came to find out that that was not the case. Besides, I imagined that Draco had an entire library full of books in his manor.

At one point, I decided I wasn't going to get him anything at all. It would take off the pressure of finding the right thing and Draco had said I shouldn't get him anything. But as soon as I decided such I felt a pang of guilt imagining him giving me the book he still had and me handing over nothing in return. To be honest, I thought the whole 'farewell gift' thing was kind of stupid. We hadn't talked in almost a week and it wasn't like we had much before Dumbledore said we should stop anyway.

Still, I debated what on earth Draco would appreciate. I looked through Zonko's and Quality Quidditch Supplies, Honeydukes, and Spintwitches, but nothing popped out. It was getting late and I didn't know what to get.

Hurriedly, I rushed into Tomes and Scrolls anyway, in one last attempt, and bought him the first book that came to mind: Hue Hennypink's Handbook to the History and Handling of Herbology. Aka: the book Draco had told me was too boring for him to buy me. The irony was too strong to resist and I could not think of anything better. So I bought it and decided the best way to get it to him without confrontation, was to drop it off in 'our room'.

I was wrong.

When I got to our room, it was empty and quiet. I looked at the sofa we had shared and at the table we'd eaten at. Sighing, I set the book on the the table, trying hard not to think about the things that had happened in there. I took out my wand and conjured a bow to sit nicely on top of the book. Then I went around and sat on the couch for a moment. This had to be the last time I came to our room. It had to be. It was just to risky running into Draco there and not being able to leave.

I wanted to forget everything. It would make it all easier if I never remembered what had happened. Yet, I found myself savoring each sense of the room. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I swear I could smell Malfoy and, if I tried really hard, I could smell the ghost of the meal we shared. My hands ran over the fabric of the davenport, remembering what it felt like to lie next to Draco on it. My ears perked to take in what little sounds the room offered. The whisper of the wind blowing against the walls and the rustle of the carpet beneath my feet.

Standing up, I walked to the bookshelf and ran my fingers over the spines. Maybe I could take one before I left. One I knew the library didn't have. A thick brown one caught my eye and I pulled it out carefully. Inside, it talked about Hogwarts and had old clippings in it from the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and even older magazines and newspapers that must have been discontinued earlier.

Behind me, the door opened and I snapped my book shut and whirled around.

"How convenient," Draco sauntered in. His broomstick was over his shoulder and _Macbeth_ was in his hand.

"Here," I said, picking up the book I'd bought him and extending it toward him.

He raised his eyebrows at it. "I told you not to get me anything, Granger."

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Anyway, you won't like it. I only got it for you out of spite."

"Spite?" he took the book from my hands and looked at the title. An amused smirk played in the corner of his mouth. "Very funny."

"I thought so."

"And here's yours," he handed me _Macbeth. _

"Thanks."

We stood in awkward silence.

"Well," I said, starting to walk around him.

"One more thing," he said quickly. He took the broom off his shoulder and held it in front of him. "One last ride."

I sighed. "We really have to stop this."

"I know."

I looked between him and the broom. When I looked at him I felt this pain in my chest because I knew all we were doing was biding our time until we really couldn't see each other anymore. And I knew that shouldn't make me sad. He was Draco Malfoy. I was supposed to despise him, but I just couldn't. It was like watching some one die. Like visiting someone sick and brittle in the hospitable that you knew could leave you at any time. And it was the worst feeling in the world to know that that could be the last time you see them.

So you figure you should make the most of it.

* * *

I held tight to Draco's torso and tried to pretend that the wind flapping through my hair didn't mean I was a hundred feet in the air on the back of a broom.

"You okay back there, Granger?" Draco called over his shoulder. "You're holding on pretty tight."

I was most definitely crushing his insides, but I didn't let up. "I don't like flying!"

His back rumbled in laughter under my cheek. "We're almost there."

"Almost where?"

"Anywhere!"

He leaned forward and accelerated the speed of the broom against my loud and angry objections. Soon, we landed in a small clearing the the middle of the Forbidden Forest. It was almost too dark to see and the trees looked eerie and foreboding.

I stumbled off the broom and stood looking into the trees. Shivering, I thought about the hundreds of horrible creatures that could be in them. If I looked close enough, I swear I could see something move. It scared me but I didn't want to look away.

Draco came up beside me. He stared into the woods also. I felt his fingers tickle my wrist and I turned my hand to him, staring strait ahead. This was wrong. We weren't supposed to be doing this for so many reasons. The pads of his fingers grazed down my palm and slid in between my fingers. I curled my digits up to touch the back of his hand.

"Creepy, right?" he asked. His voice sounded weird in the dark.

I nodded, then realized he probably couldn't see me, so I said, "Yeah."

He pulled out his wand and conjured a thick blanket on the ground. He pulled me on to it and then down to the ground.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"Ever been star gazing before, Granger?"

We laid down beside each other. He put his hand behind his head and gazed at the heavens above.

"Yeah." I said. "I mean, I've taken astronomy. I know the constellations and things."

He laughed. "Doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Look at it, Granger! Have you ever seen anything so beautiful in astronomy class?"

He was right. Not only was it more beautiful, it felt different too. Laying under the stars, next to Draco.

He looked over at me and I could feel his breath on my shoulder. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

"So which is your favourite?" asked Draco. "Constellation, I mean."

I sighed and looked back at the stars. "The Gemini Twins, maybe." He hummed. "What's yours?"

"Draco. Obviously."

I laughed and shook my head. "You're pathetic."

"Fine then, Scorpius."

"Really?"

"Really. I like the name. If I have a kid, I'm going to name him Scorpius."

"Poor kid."

He grinned. His teeth shone of the light from the stars.

I'd completely forgotten about the woods now. I felt totally safe and at ease.

"Shakespeare wasn't a wizard." I said.

I could almost feel him roll his eyes. He propped himself up on his arm and looked down at me. "Granger, how many times do I have to tell you? He _was_ a-"

"He was a squib," I cut him off. "I looked it up. Neither of us were right."

He froze, with his mouth still partially open. "A squib?" he squinted. "But I swear..."

"Nope. Not a wizard. Not a muggle."

He cocked his head and laid back down. "I was closer."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"No."

"Yes."

"Has Dumbledore said anymore to you yet?"

Draco scoffed. "No. The old kook just keeps saying to keep fixing the cabinet. It's like he wants me to let Deatheaters in."

"So how close are you?"

"Still about the same. I can send things through just fine. It's getting them back in one piece. But I haven't been working on it as hard lately. I'm really depending on The Order to keep me alive, but right now, I don't see that they're doing much."

"I'm sure Dumbledore knows what he's doing," I said.

"Yeah, well I'm not. If he knows, why doesn't he tell us?"

"He probably has his reasons."

"Bullshit."

"Draco," I scolded.

"Granger."

I swallowed and stared up until the stars became blurry and melted together. I hoped Dumbledore really did know what he was doing.

"I'm just scared," Draco whispered. I raised my eyebrows and looked over at him. His face was pointed toward the sky and his jaw was firm. "This whole thing with You-Know-Who and my parents and Dumbledore. I don't know who to trust. It's fucking terrifying."

I rolled over on my side. Wrapping my arm over his stomach, I rested my cheek on his chest. I almost sighed. He felt so good.

His arm slid under my side and his hand held my back.

"And I don't want to listen to Dumbledore about us either," his voiced echoed around in his chest.

I turned my face to him and I decided one thing right then. "Me either."

And he kissed me. And it felt so good.

* * *

**A/N: I know! I've been gone too long! Sorry. Second semester classes are really kicking my butt. And I know this chappy isn't very long either. Sorry. Also, probably mistakes because I didn't really get to read through it. Sorry again.**

**BUT! Oh my gosh you all are wonderful! I've gained so many followers and your reviews continue to flatter me! Thank you so much! I will never abandon this story because of you people (even though it may seem like since I haven't updated in forever!)**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	20. So It Begins

**So It Begins**

It was far past curfew when I returned to the Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady complained angrily when I woke her to give her the password and the portrait seemed to creak extra loudly as I tried to sneak in.

The fire was reduced to a glowing pile of embers, the room was dark and quiet except for the occasional log popping, and, even better, it was completely deserted. I tip toed in. Had these floors always creaked so much? I kept to the rugs and carpeting to soften my footfall as much as I could.

A sudden ball of white light appeared before my face, almost making me tumble over.

"Where have you been?"

It was Ginny, sounding remarkably like her mother, and holding her lit wand directly in my face.

"Do you realize how late it is?" she hissed.

My face drained. "Calm down, Gin. I was only getting a glass of water!"

She looked me over. I was still in jeans and day clothes. "Uh-hu? And where were you really?"

"I told you," I said, pushing past her.

She hurried forward and blocked the stairs to the Girls' Dormitory from me.

"In your day clothes?" she asked.

"I didn't feel like changing for bed," if I dug myself an any deeper hole I'd hit water.

"You were never in bed!" she exclaimed, flashing her lit wand in front of my face.

"Yes I was. Do you mind lowering your wand?"

She glared and brought her wand down about an inch. "No you weren't. I waited for you here, in the Common Room. You never came!"

I thought back to just a little while ago. Draco and I had flown back to the Astronomy tower after hours of star gazing, where we said our goodnights (with more than our words) and I left him with a giddy lightness in my chest. I started to feel light again and hopped that Ginny couldn't see the blush spreading across my face.

"Now," she said authoritatively. "You're going to tell me where you were, what you were doing, and _who_ you were with. And before you think about lying, consider that I already know two of the three."

I swallowed and tried to decide if she really knew or if she was bluffing. Just the other week she'd tried to convince me she knew something was going on with Draco and me, so perhaps she wasn't lying.

"I was out in the forest..." I sighed. "Looking at the stars."

She nodded. "Mm-hm. And with who..." she coaxed.

I avoided looking at her face. It was hard to see anything past the glaring light from her wand, but I pretended I was looking at something pretty interesting over her shoulder.

"I think you already know," I said shortly. My brow was set low and my jaw clenched.

"I want you to say it," she said.

Her eyes were hard and set right on mine.

I snarled at her and mumbled. "Malfoy."

"I'm sorry. Didn't catch that," she turned her ear my direction and cupped her hand around it.

"Malfoy!" I said too loudly. "I was with Draco Malfoy! Bloody hell, Ginny. Are you happy now?!" I cringed. I yelled a lot more of that than I meant to.

Ginny stared at me. She didn't yell, or grin, or frown, or laugh, or anything. She just looked at me. Her face completely emotionless. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. Ginny was always full of emotion, but when I actually _wanted_ her to show some, she was a closed book.

"I think we better get to bed," she finally whispered.

"That's it?" I asked her. "That's all you're going to say? 'I think we better get to bed'? After you made me tell you that?" I looked at her hopefully. "You're not going to tell me I'm foolish, or that you knew it?"

"I think you're an idiot," she said flatly. "I think Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age, is an idiot. Draco Malfoy? _Draco Malfoy._ Of course I knew, Hermione. I was just hoping I was wrong. Because if I was wrong, that would mean that you _weren't _going to get yourself into some deep shit."

I gaped at her. "What are you talking about?" I hissed. I didn't expect her to be happy about it, but this was Ginny!

She crossed her arms. The light from her wand cast across the wall on the other side of the Common Room. "Well, you are going to have to tell Harry and Ron eventually. And how do you think they are going to take it?" From the way Ginny was acting I cringed thinking about what Harry and Ron would do if they knew. "It was cute back in second and third year when you two would have your squabbles. I could tell even then, and even if neither of you knew. But that was when he was twelve and thirteen. The spells in his wand were too innocent then. You can't say the same about the spells he knows now."

"Draco wouldn't do anything! He's never done anything!" I protested. I knew she was just worried I'd get hurt, but she hadn't seen the parts of Draco I'd seen.

"You're so sure he won't?" she asked harshly. "What about what he did to Ron? What he _meant_ to do to Dumbledore."

"Ginny, that's not fair. You don't understand-"

"Maybe it's you who doesn't understand," she poked me in the chest. "He's going to hurt you, whether he means to or not."

A dull sound like thunder sounded from outside the castle walls and shook the room. I grabbed the nearest chair for balance as the shudder made my legs wobble. Ginny stumbled and the picture frames clattered against the wall.

"What was that?" I gasped.

She didn't answer. Her face was pointed to the window, something outside had caught her eye and she moved toward it. She gripped the sides of the window tightly and pressed her nose to the glass.

I maneuvered my head to see around her hair. It was dark outside and seemingly silent. I pushed in closer, hoping to see whatever had caught Ginny's eye.

_Boom_

The protective dome around Hogwarts flashed as though it had been struck by lighting, but only for a second.

_Boom_

Again.

"What is that?" a voice asked from behind.

I spun around to find a second year who had wandered from bed and was craning her neck to see out the window.

Before I could answer, more students appeared in the common room. Two older ones pushed their way to the window and Ginny and I stood aside to let them see.

_Boom_

There were several gasps. If the dull thudding didn't wake the rest of the students the nervous chatter would.

"I'm going to get Harry and Ron," Ginny told me, and disappeared behind some taller students.

I bit my lip in concentration and stared out the window.

_Boom_

It almost seemed like someone was trying to apparate into Hogwarts.

Ginny returned, followed by a groggy Ron and Harry. Ron rubbed the sleep from his eyes and Harry adjusted his glasses as they pressed their faces to the glass.

"Do you know what it is?" Ginny asked the boys.

Ron shook his head, but Harry continued to stare out the window.

"I've a few ideas," he said.

The chatter in the room increased until people were shouting to be heard.

"They're going to wake the whole school," I told Harry, Ron, and Ginny. I cringed at the thought of an angry McGonagall in her nighty storming into the room to find Harry, Ron, and me in the centre of commotion, like always.

"Shush!" Ginny addressed the group, but only a few in the front heard her. "Hey!" she yelled, catching a few more's attention. "Shush!" more people helped her to quiet the group until there were only a few talking loudly in the back. Ginny quieted them right away with a loud "I said shut up!"

When everyone was finally quiet Seamus came forward.

"What's goin' on?" he asked.

"Don't know," Harry said. "It looks like something is trying to get into Hogwarts."

Everyone seemed to be listening extra closely now.

"Should we tell someone?" asked Ron.

No one answered him. We were all listening for the next boom. Sometime throughout the short commotion, the thudding had stopped, and now that everyone was listening closely, it seemed eerily quiet.

The sound of the portrait hole slamming open made everyone jump and few younger kids screamed.

"Professor," Harry said, pushing his way through the group and to a dishevelled McGonagall.

"Not a word, Potter," she sharply dismissed him. Her hair was in a tight twist like usual and black house robe was cinched tight around her waist. "Back to bed, all of you."

No one moved. Nervous glances were made between the window, the stairs, and the professor.

"Professor, please," Harry tried again. "I think something might be attacking Hogwarts-"

"I can assure you the matter is under control. Now, I said, everyone back to bed!" she barked.

Most of the student body turned at this and marched back upstairs, chatting nervously once again.

When they were gone only three students remained. Harry, Ron, and me. We turned to McGonagall.

"Goodnight," she said sharply and turned on her heal to leave.

"Wait, please," Harry begged. "It's someone trying to get in isn't it? Deatheaters?"

She sighed audibly. "That is none of your concern, Potter. I can assure you that everyone is safe. Now please go to bed," she shut the portrait firmly behind her without so much as a second glance.

"It is Deatheaters," said Harry.

"Why would Deatheaters be trying to get into the school?" asked Ron

"Who knows."

"Do you think McGonagal was lying about it being under control?" I asked.

"The booming stopped didn't it?" Harry replied.

"Hopefully Dumbledore is able to keep the Deatheaters out," Ron said nervously.

"He hasn't," Harry said and I cringed because I knew exactly where was going with this.

"Do not say Malfoy, Harry," I commanded. "I'm getting tired of it. You have zero proof. And even if he was a Deatheater, don't you think Dumbledore would already know?"

"That theory is getting a bit old, mate," Ron agreed. "You're starting to blame Malfoy for everything. Next you'll be saying it's his fault you tripped over your own feet."

Harry clenched his jaw. He wasn't one to be easily angered, but he looked angry now and I was a bit worried he might do something he regrets. He didn't say or do anything, however. He just turned on his heel and marched back up to bed.

Ron and I exchanged worried looks behind his back.

"You don't think he'll do anything stupid do you? Like hex Malfoy?" Ron asked me.

I bit my lip. "I hope not."

* * *

I sat at the Gryffindor table for supper. For some reason, neither Harry, Ron, nor Ginny were present. This struck me as strange and decided I'd find out what the three were up to after I was finished eating. Besides, Neville was telling me a very fascinating story about how he had tried to grow his own Mandrakes at home over the summer and how it failed horribly.

It seemed that everyone had forgotten about the incident from last night. I hadn't. And I was itching to find out if Draco knew anything about what happened. I'd try to catch him alone after I found out were Harry, Ron, and Ginny were at.

"-My gran was not very happy when she found me passed out on the floor of the garden shed," Neville said, finishing up his story. "She made sure I got rid of them after that."

I laughed politely and finished the rest of my water from my goblet. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of red.

"Oh, hi Ginny!" Neville said brightly.

She ignored him, facing me instead with a worried expression on her face.

"Hermione!" she huffed. It was clear she had run most of the way here. "Harry's done something horrible."

* * *

**A/N: Gosh, guys I'm really sorry it's taken me so long. I've been busy and sick and strait out didn't want to write most days. Ugg! The action is about to start picking up so hopefully it will inspire me to write faster!**

**Gained tons more followers, thanks so much!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	21. Forget Me Not

**Forget Me Not**

_"Harry's done something horrible!"_

* * *

"It was a spell from that bloody potions book," Ginny told me. "Harry said it cut Malfoy deep across the chest. He's in the hospitable wing now."

I twitched in my seat. I didn't know how to feel. I was angry. So incredibly angry. But I was also paralysed with fear. It was the only thing keeping me from jumping out of my chair, springing on Harry across the room, and strangling him.

Harry looked ashamed, but I didn't care. He'd attacked someone. It didn't matter that it was Draco. What mattered was that Harry _attacked_ someone. He'd come straight out and said it:

_"Malfoy was in the bathroom, crying his eyes out over the sink. I knew then that he had been behind what happened last night. I hexed him. The spell had said 'for enemies'. I didn't know what it would do."_

I cleared the hatred out of my voice. "Harry," I still had to say his name through clenched teeth to keep from yelling. "Give that potions book to Ginny."

He looked reluctant, but he did what I said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his beloved and battered potion book and giving it to Ginny who took it wearily from his hand, glancing nervously at me.

"Now, Ginny," I clenched the arms of the chair. "Hide that book. Tear it up. Burn it. Just make sure no one finds it again."

She swallowed thickly and nodded. Standing up, she grabbed Harry's hand and drug him from the common room, probably too afraid to leave him with me.

Ron wrung his hands nervously over by the fireplace.

"You don't think Malfoy's going to _die_ is he?" he asked. "I mean, Harry was mad, but he's no murderer."

"Of course he's not a murderer, Ron. Harry didn't even know what the spell was going to do," I avoided Ron's question because thinking about it made my stomach churn.

"I think Snape got there soon enough," said Ron, answering his own question. "Before Malfoy lost too much blood."

All I could imagine were pictures of Draco's chest cut open and him bleeding profusely.

"I don't think they're going to expel Harry either. Snape just gave him detention for the rest of the year," Ron continued.

I stood up swiftly, a little too swiftly, making my head throb, and heading for the portrait hole.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked, standing up too.

"For a walk," I told him sharply, which wasn't exactly a lie.

"You're not going to-"

"I'm not going to hurt Harry," I cut him off snappishly.

In the hall I could let my panic out a bit more. My breathing became ragged as I walked and my hands shook. I moved a little faster with each step.

When I reached the hospital wing I flung open the doors and scanned the rows of cots. Most of them were empty and one in the back had to curtain pulled. A quick look about the room told me Madam Pomfrey wasn't around. I darted to the cot in the back, already knowing who I would find around the curtain, just not sure in what state.

I hesitated, fingering the white curtain for just a moment. Taking a deep breath, I pulled it to the side and laid eyes on Draco who seemed to be fast asleep.

I sat down on the bed next to him and pulled the curtain back around us. Brushing the hair from his face, I noticed that he was a bit paler than normal. The white covers were tucked tight under his chin, but I gently pulled them back, remembering Ginny say the spell cut him across the chest.

He stirred a bit, but didn't wake as I revealed a blood soaked white bandage wrapped around his chest. There were three, very clear, dark streaks of blood that ran diagonal across the bandage were he must have been cut.

"You shouldn't bee here, Granger," his voice was raspy.

I looked up to find his grey eyes peaking out from under his white lashes. He smirked at me and reached for my hand.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'd be better if Potter hadn't attacked me."

"I'm serious."

"I'm fine."

"Does it hurt?"

"No. But that potion Pomfrey put on it stung like a bitch."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm lightly.

"What was that? The other night. Those booms, I mean. It wasn't Deatheaters or anything was it?" I asked him.

He looked down at our hands. "Maybe."

"You don't think they know, do you? About you telling Dumbledore?"

"I think they know I stopped working on the cabinet."

I bit my lip. "Draco," I hesitated while I looked for the little freckle in his eye. There it was. "If something happens- if the Deatheaters manage to get into the school or something- promise you'll stay on this side."

He massaged his lips together in thought. "Yeah, I promise."

I hated to do it, but I added, "Even if your parents are there?"

I felt his hand twitch so I ran the fingers of my other hand over the back of his.

"I promise," his voice had become scratchy, but I felt relieved. He licked his lips. "Let's talk about something else, okay?"

I smiled. "Like what?"

I caught his eyes and he looked up in thought and I started. I'd never seen anyone look so terrified.

* * *

The next day Draco was released from the hospital hall and he asked me to come up the Astronomy Tower after classes. I told him I'd be there if I could, but that I had a lot of studying to do.

It didn't take me as long as I thought it would though, so I quickly gathered up my quills and books, trying to spill my ink, and rushed to the Astronomy Tower, not even bothering to pack my things into my bag.

I charged into the room. The door clattered onto the wall and the sound of my pounding feet took flight in the echo-rich room. I slowed now that I was here and Draco didn't have to wait any longer. Taking in the room, I felt disappointment slide down my throat like ice as I realized I was alone.

"Draco?" I whispered, tiptoeing now and feeling suddenly vulnerable.

I walked to the railing, expecting him to jump out with his broom and suddenly whisk me into the air.

There was a flutter, somewhere to my right in the dark, and I braced myself for him. After a moment I relaxed, realizing he wasn't going to pop out.

Cautiously, I set my things on the floor and shrugged off my bag. I glanced around suspiciously as my books fell into my bag. He said he would be here, in case I could come. The wind ran in through the large open wall and whispered through my hair.

_He's not here_. It seemed to say. I shivered.

I sung my bag back over my shoulder and stood facing the sunset. It was almost over, just the little rays of light reaching over the horizon.

Something fluttered again at my right. I narrowed my eyes in that direction. It was too dark to see anything. My heart began to pick up. I didn't know what or _who_ was back there. I just knew it wasn't Draco.

Whatever it was fluttered again and my hand went straight to my wand. I whipped it out and held it high in front of me.

"_Lumos_," I whispered and the white light spilled out and crept forward on the ground.

The light landed on no feet or curious object, but instead, on a book laying on the floor. It was rather big and thick. It looked familiar.

The book hopped into the air and ruffled it's pages like a bird trying to take flight.

I crept toward it carefully, ready to use my wand against it if I needed to. When I got closer, I could see the title properly. There was a painted picture of a flower on it, and in golden swoopy font it said, _Hue Hennypink's Handbook to the History and Handling of Herbology._

My heart leaped to my throat and I scrambled forward to pick it up.

It was as heavy as it looked. The spine was soft with use, even though the book was new when I bought it for Draco, and the corners were frayed and curled inward. I put my wand in my pocket so I could handle the book easier, throwing the light from my _lumos_ to the ceiling. I pealed the cover back to reveal the dedication page. _To my aunt, for being there through all my research. _It said. I took the spine in my left hand and use my right thumb to flip quickly through the pages.

It didn't take long before the book flopped open to a page with something stuck in the crack. A brilliantly blue flower fell out. It was small, but the intensity of colour well made up for that. I twirled the stem between my fingers and looked down at the pages it was stuck between.

On the right page was a watercolour painting of the little blue flower to size. Above it, at the top, was the name. _Forget-Me-Not._

It took a long moment for my brain to register what that meant, but when it did I had to swallow knives to keep my tears down.

I pushed my knuckles into my lips until my teeth started to hurt.

Draco had given me a Forget-Me-Not.

He was asking me not to forget him.

He was saying goodbye.

It broke me. I could feel my heart tearing in half even though I knew he was probably safer where he was now.

Licking my chapped lips with a dry tongue, I pressed the flower back in between the two pages and shut the book firmly. I put it in my bag like the rest of my books and swung the strap over my shoulder.

Then I straightened my shirt, swiped at my eyes, and forced myself to smile despite the bile rising in the back of my throat.

I walked out of the Astronomy Tower, down the hall, and to the Gryffindore Common Room.

Like nothing was wrong.

* * *

**A/N: Short. I know. Please let me know what you think! I'm going on vacation and I want to read all your lovely comments when I get back!**

**Thanks to all who are still sticking around!**

**With Love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	22. Chapter 22

**A.N:** **Before you start the chapter I just want to say that I know: it's been a really, ****_really_**** long time since I've updated. But hey, your complements, begging, and death threats have paid off and here is a new chapter! I kinda gave up on this story a while back because I didn't really care for it, but a lot of you seem to like it so I figured I'd try again. **

**Now, before you start, let me remind you: It's also been a really, ****_really_**** long time for me too, and I've kind of forgotten where I was going for this. I read through some of the previous chapters to kind of remind myself what I thought was going to happen, but if something seems out of place, or contradicts something said earlier, please forgive me! I think I remember, but I'm not sure.**

**Anyway, here's the long awaited: **

Chapter 22

Draco truly was gone. I realized it the next day when I couldn't find a trace of him anywhere. But it didn't really hit me until a few days later when someone else finally noticed he was missing.

"Has anyone else noticed Malfoy is missing?" Harry asked over a bowl of oatmeal at breakfast on Wednesday.

It was like someone had punched me in the gut. My spoon slipped out of my hand and clattered against the side of my bowl. I coughed to cover my slip.

"Oh yeah," said Ron. "He hasn't been in potions for days."

"Where do you think he's gone then? Rounding up Deatheaters to attack the castle?"

"Harry," I was able to wheeze.

"Well then what, Hermione? I keep trying to tell you he's a Deatheater, but both of you brush me off. So what's your theory then? You're the smartest. What's Malfoy up to?"

I bit my lip and swallowed thickly, avoiding Harry's eyes by looking down at my soggy cereal. I could feel a pressure behind my eyes, and despite my efforts, tears began to puddle on my bottom lashes. I took long breaths to calm my breathing, but it really was of no use.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, reserved. "I didn't mean to make you upset."

I ground the heals of my hands into my eyes, feeling weak and vulnerable, two things I had trained myself to never feel.

"It's okay, Harry," I sniffed. "It's not your fault."

"What's wrong then, Hermione?" Ron asked. "You've been acting kind of weird lately."

"I'm just... stressed." I pulled my shirt sleeve over my fingers and used it to dry my eyes. "O.W.L.s are coming up aren't they?"

"I guess, but I've never seen you like this," Ron said. "You're being distant, and we hardly know where you are anymore. And you're not always in the library when you say you are either."

"Yeah. I looked for you there once when you said you would be, but I couldn't find you anywhere," Harry agreed.

I sighed and looked up at the enchanted ceiling which held a pleasantly blue sky, dotted with perfectly fat clouds.

"If something's going on we want to know," Ron said gently. I looked at him, meeting his soft brown eyes, and smiled truly for the first time in a while. I was glad to have friends like Ron and Harry to look after me, but I just couldn't tell them. "And if it's a boy..." Ron trailed off with a whoosh of air.

"We just want to know," Harry finished for him.

I chuckled at the two of them. "It's nothing," I said. "Just stressed."

"Then what can we do to help?"

"Hmm..." I tapped my finger against my chin. "You know where I haven't been in a long time?" I asked, pausing for effect. "The kitchens."

"You want to go right now?" Ron asked.

I shook my head. "Tonight. We'll take the invisibility cloak like we used to."

Ron barked out a laugh. "You-Hermione Granger-is _asking_ us to sneak out at night with you?"

"Well," I said. "If you don't think you're up to it!"

Harry grinned widely. "I'll dust off the old cloak then."

...

By the time class was let out for the day I was starting to feel not so much like sneaking to the kitchens with Harry and Ron. But of course, backing out wasn't an option, so when I arrived in the common room after supper and a quick study I was promptly greeted by Harry and Ron who were as easy to read as a book with smiles stretched wide over there faces.

"Everything's ready," Harry said.

"Great," I said. "We'll meet back here around midnight then?"

They both nodded and I headed to the dormitories to mentally prepare myself before later that night.

Hours later, when my wand buzzed quietly to tell me it was midnight, I crept down to the common room where it appeared Harry and Ron had been the whole time.

"Ready?" I whispered.

"Ready," Ron said as Harry unfolded the cloak.

We draped it around each other, finding that it didn't cover as much of us as it had in the past. Then we shuffled out the portrait hole, earning a grumbling from the Fat Lady, and waddled to rest of the way to the kitchens; the hallways being surprisingly silent.

Harry extended a finger and tickled the pare. It giggled quietly and the painting swung forward, letting us through.

Inside only a few House Elves were scurrying about washing dishes and wiping off tables or mopping the floors.

"Harry Potter!" came a familiar voice.

"Dobby!" Harry said, pulling the cloak off of Ron and me.

Dobby scrambled forward, sliding on the many socks and scarves wrapped around his short body. "Dobby has not seen Harry Potter or his friends in a long time!" he squeaked.

"Hello Dobby," I said, coming forward and extending a hand I meant for him to shake.

Instead, he exclaimed, "Miss Granger!" and bowed most exuberantly so that one of his many hats fell right off his head. "What can Dobby do for Harry Potter and his friends?"

"Sweets would be nice," Ron said.

"Right away Mr. Wheezy." Dobby hurried away in search of some sugary snack for us. Meanwhile, we sat down at one of the four tables to wait.

Before Dobby could bring us anything however, a noise like a cannon exploding rocked the whole kitchen.

Some of the House Elves screamed and started running like mad. I grabbed the table to steady myself, looking wildly about for any sigh of what could have caused such a noise.

"Bloody hell!" Ron yelled. "What was that?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but another loud boom rocked to castle. I remembered last week when similar booms had seemed to have tried to penetrate the protective shield around Hogwarts. But this time they seemed louder and closer.

I stood up just as another boom crashed through the room, making me stumble.

Someone from in the castle screamed high and long, turning my blood to ice. Something was definitely wrong.

Harry ran to the portrait, nearly knocking it off it's hinges, and barreled out into the hallway. There were professors in the hall, hurrying so quickly that they didn't even bother to tell any of us off as we stood dumbstruck in the middle of the commotion.

There were students too, I realized, running and weaving around the adults.

"What's going on?" I asked whomever would answer. No one did.

"Back to your Houses!" McGonagal was shouting to be heard over the nervous hustle. Her voice was drowned out again when the halls rattled with another earsplitting boom and students screamed in terror.

"Come on!" Harry yelled over his shoulder at Ron and me. He began charging through the crowd, desperate to find out something and probably headed toward Dumbledore's office.

I took out my wand and held it under white knuckles. Adrenaline pumped so quickly through my veins that my arms and legs shook with it. It seemed to whole school had poured into the halls to find out what had happened and quickly went into a panic.

We had almost made it to Dumbledore's spiral staircase when Ginny stopped us.

"Harry!" she yelled. "Ron! Hermione! What's going on?" Her hair was tangled from sleep, but her eyes were wide open and she showed no signs of fatigue.

"I was hoping you would know that," Harry told her.

"Tonks is here!" Neville yelled, appearing beside Ginny. "And Lupin and Kingsly. The whole order is here. I saw them in the Great Hall. It seemed like they were looking for someone."

"Dumbledore," Harry said. "We need to get Dumbledore. Does anyone know the password to his staircase?"

Ron, Ginny, Neville, and I all shook our heads. Students continued to dart through the hallways. I wasn't sure if they even knew what they were running towards or from.

"It's _blood pop_," a strangely calm voice said. Luna was in a set of brilliantly coloured pajamas of which the polka-dots were bouncing quickly across the fabric.

"Thanks," Harry said and turned to the griffin which guarded the entrance to Dumbledore's office. "_Blood pop,"_ he yelled at it, and the grinding sound of stone on stone could be heard as the statue began to turn.

There was a crash from another hallway, like a wall had been blown down. We all froze, listening to the dozens of new screams that rose with the crash.

"Go!" Ginny finally yelled and gave Harry a forceful shove up the first step.

"Professor!" Harry yelled as he neared the top. "Professor Dumbledore!" He pounded on the door, but instead of Dumbledore answering, the door swung open of its own accord to reveal his empty office. Despite this, Harry barged inside, still yelling for the headmaster.

"He's never here!" Harry yelled angrily and kicked Dumbledore's desk, sending one of the many trinkets on a toppled toward the floor. "Whenever there's a problem Dumbledore is never here!"

"Harry!" Neville yelled from the small window next to Fawkes's equally empty perch. "You might want to have a look at this!"

Harry moved toward the window as if in slow motion. Without even looking at what horror was outside I could tell it was bad by the look on Harry's face as Neville moved aside to let him see better.

I crowded behind him in order to see.

Against the black sky outside was the Dark Mark; wispy and and white like a cloud, but far more foreboding.

I whimpered, nearly crying at the sight of it.

"We have to go," Ron said. "If Deatheaters are here looking for Dumbledore this is the first place they'll look and we'll be here all alone."

"Let them come," Harry ground through clenched teeth.

"No, Harry. Ron's right," I said. "We need to move now. If we can find Dumbledore before they do we might have a chance at protecting the school."

He nodded stiffly, staring in disgust at the evil mark outside. "That means they've killed someone already," he said. "Did you know? They've already started killing."

I swallowed thickly and clenched my wand tightly. I was going to be sick. I could feel a sourness in my gut and my skin was cold, but sweating.

"Come on then," Ginny said, heading to the door. "Let's give them hell."

**A.N: And yeah. I know. Short. Sorry. I wanted to make it longer, but I also wanted it up before the end of the day so...**

**Hope you liked! **

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	23. Chapter 23

Ginny led the way down the stairs, taking them two at a time. The hallway outside Dumbledore's office was empty, but from there I could hear the distant screams and crashes coming from somewhere in the building.

"Harry," I said. "Where would Dumbledore be?"

"I..." He trailed off, examining the bricks of the walls as if they would tell where Dumbledore was.

"Harry!" I prompted.

He shook himself. "I don't know!"

"We should try to find an Order member then," Ginny said. She set her brow and took a determined step in the direction most noise seemed to be coming from.

I jogged behind her, waving the others to follow.

As we turned the corner Ginny ran flat into someone. She screamed quickly before realizing who it was and then gasped in joy.

"Tonks!" she said, wrapping her arms around Tonks out of pure relief.

"We were just looking for you," I said.

"You were?" Tonks frowned. Her hair was redder than Ginny's or Ron's and her features were sharp and angry. A small cut on her forehead was leading a trickle of blood down her face that she had to keep wiping before it reached her eye.

"Well, an Order member," Harry said, panting slightly. "What's going on? Where's Dumbledore?"

"I was hoping you would know that," Tonks said.

There came a crash behind her and a burly Deatheater scrambled out from behind a pile of rubble. He grinned wickedly at us, but before he could so much as raise his wand, Tonks, Harry, and Ginny had all raised theirs and he was hit by some combination of stunners and curses.

"Over here," Tonks said, leading us toward an empty classroom. She shut the door firmly and placed a locking charm on the frame. "Listen closely," she whispered, still keeping an eye on the tiny window toward the top of the door. "The school's under attack-"

"Yeah, Deatheaters," Ron snorted. "It wasn't that hard to figure out."

"And let me guess who's behind it," Harry said, looking pointedly at me. I tried to avoid his face because I knew what he would say next. "It's Draco Malfoy, isn't it? He let them in."

Tonks looked uncomfortable. "Not exactly..." she said. I frowned, trying to catch her eye and wondered if she knew something about Draco I didn't. "As far as we know, the Deatheaters got in by penetrating the castle's forces. And they're after Dumbledore. You-Know-Who wants Dumbledore dead. He sent someone special in to kill him, but something went wrong and now he's sent Deatheaters in to make sure he's dead."

There was another loud bang outside and the sound of wicked laughter rang down the hall. Tonks brought her face back up to the window again and looked out silently for a long while before turning back to us.

"But if you can't even find Dumbledore how did the Order know we were under attack?" Harry asked.

She seemed to fight with herself for a moment before finally answering. "The person You-Know-Who sent to kill Dumbledore surrendered and was staying with the Order. The Deatheaters came to get him to finish the job."

My vision faded around the edges so that it was like I was looking through a very narrow tunnel. I knew what Tonks had said, but her words distorted in my mind and echoed something like, _"__They've taken Draco_". My heart pounded painfully and blood rushed quickly through my ears so that it was hard to hear anything else. My chest tightened and the muscles in my stomach clenched; trying to force up dinner.

"Then we need to find Dumbledore now," said Ginny.

I nodded weakly in agreement, hoping the others wouldn't notice how faint I was feeling.

"We've checked the Great Hall, the Dungeons, and several floors," Tonks said, ticking each one off on her fingers.

"And we just came from his office," Harry interjected. "He wasn't there either."

"If I know Dumbledore, he's still here and he's hiding in plain sight for the Deatheaters to find him," Tonks said. "I never thought I'd say this, but he is being rather foolish."

"What about the greenhouses?" Neville asked. "Did anyone check those?"

Tonks nodded. "Arthur was sent out to check the grounds. Since I haven't seen a Patronus from him I'm guessing it's a no. Or something worse," she added quietly.

"Dad's here?" Ron asked.

"Anyone who was able to help came," Tonks answered.

"I think I know where Dumbledore might be," Luna said. All eyes went to her and, grinning, she looked through her hooded eyes out the window in the classroom. "The astronomy tower."

"Has anyone check there yet?" Harry asked.

Tonks shook her head. "I'll go. You should stay hidden and out of danger."

"Yeah right," Ron said, already reaching for the door handle. "Fat chance we'll just sit around here and do nothing."

Tonks must not have meant what she said because she didn't try in the least to stop Ron from opening the door or the rest of us from running out after him. The halls had quieted down considerably, but there was rubbish all over the floors and in one hallway were two students that seemed to be nursing a wound on one of their arms.

Ron ran quickly, his long legs taking large strides that were hard for the rest of us to keep up with. And by the time we were on the floor just below the astronomy tower I was panting like a dog and my heart was beating quicker than ever.

Out of nowhere a jet of green light hurdled toward Neville, missing his shoulder by a hair. I jumped and turned in the direction the curse had come from, just as a beam of yellow came so close to my nose I could feel it's heat. It rocketed toward Luna, but she conjured a protection charm just in time, sending the curse flying back toward a rather scrawny looking Deatheater in all black robes.

He blocked it just the same, but as soon as his shield was down I yelled, "Stupify!" and sent him flying backwards.

"Nice," Tonks said, nodding at Luna and me.

"Thanks," I panted. "Let's get there quickly."

But no sooner had I said that when a ball of purple light smashed into Tonk's chest and sent her stumbling backward.

Thinking quickly, Harry aimed his wand at the newly appeared Deatheater, yelling, "Reducto!" and sent the walls crashing around him.

Tonks stood for a moment, her eyes growing wide with surprise at first. She brought her hand to her mouth and coughed hard. Sticky blood came away from her mouth when she took her hand down. My stomach churned at the sight of it. Her breath rattled in her throat when she looked up in confusion, and then her eyes rolled and she dropped like a rock.

Luna and I caught her from behind, bringing her dead weight carefully down to the ground.

"Tonks!" Ginny yelled at her still form. "Tonks!"

My throat tightened and I couldn't get myself to swallow back the tears burning at my eyes. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't. With shaking fingers, I reached out and touched her wrist. For a moment I felt nothing. Then a slow pulse thrummed under my fingers.

Ginny was weeping and Neville looked like he was seconds from passing out as well.

"She's still alive," I said.

"Someone should stay with her," Ron said.

"I'll stay," Luna said, lightly brushing bright red hair that was now fading to brown out of Tonks's face which was also losing some of it's sharper features.

"Me too." Neville raised his hand.

"Are you sure you'll be fine?" I asked, watching the dark hallways for signs of more Deatheaters.

Neville swallowed visibly and nodded. He sat down next to Luna, holding his head in his hands.

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and I took off again with the steps to the astronomy tower just ahead. When reached them and began climbing up I could tell something was different. It was quiet, but muffled voices could be heard above and one sounded like like Dumbledore, but he was far from alone.

We reached the top of the steps and I prayed that I would see Order members in the tower with Dumbledore rather than Deatheaters.

But of course, things just couldn't be easy. I peered around the wall with Harry, Ron, and Ginny to find five or six Deatheaters in the room. Dumbledore stood with his back to the railing over the edge of the tower, and he was defenseless without a wand in his hand.

Harry lurched forward, but Ginny grabbed the back of his shirt before he could move too far.

"Do it!" one of the Deatheaters hissed. I instantly recognized that the icy voice belonged to Belletrix Lestrange. She was standing directly in front of Dumbledore, but she seemed to be holding onto someone in front of her.

"Don't make the boy kill me, Bellatrix," Dumbledore said calmly. "Do it yourself if you must."

Bellatrix cackled. "You're a twisted man, Dumbledore!" she laughed.

A strangled sob came from her direction, but it certainly wasn't her. I swallowed ice, afraid to see who she had, but thought I already knew.

"Crying, Draco?" Bellatrix addressed who she was holding. "Well if you don't like it you should have thought about that before betraying the Dark Lord!" she spat.

I staggered backward, feeling like someone had hit me hard in the head. I knew tears started running silently down my face because my eyes were burning, but I couldn't feel anything beyond a pounding in my head and a sharp tingling in my feet.

I felt Ron grab my arm and I snapped back to the present, realizing I had started to tip forward without knowing it.

_What do we do? _Ginny mouthed to Harry.

Again, Harry looked lost. I could tell he felt obliged to come up with some sort of plan and save the day, but he couldn't do it all.

He didn't have to answer so quickly, however, because someone else was coming up the stairs.

I looked around wildly for someplace to duck into or a different way to go, but it was either run into a room full of Deatheaters or face whomever was coming up the stairs.

"I said do it!" Bellatrix screeched from the astronomy tower. Then followed a gasp of pain and I shut my eyes for a moment, wishing I could do something besides stand here helplessly.

A head of black hair appeared coming up the stairs. I held my wand at the ready. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Harry, Ron, and Ginny do the same. Snape's hooked nose face surfaced, followed quickly by the swish of his cloak.

He stopped dead when he saw us, and for a second I think all of us were too shocked or afraid to move. Then he brought one bony finger up to his lips.

I gave a tiny nod. I had never remotely liked Snape, but he was part of the Order and I felt I really had not choice but to trust him then.

He brought his finger down slowly, and in one fluid movement, stepped into the room.

"Oh, good evening Severus," Dumbledore said.

I could hear the swishing of cloaks as all the Deatheaters in the room turned to look at Snape, but I didn't dare look in fear they see one of us poking out from behind the wall.

"Snape," Bellatrix seemed to growl. "You're just in time. Perhaps you can get this filthy traitor to do what the Dark Lord has entrusted him to do."

"I won't do it!" Draco yelled, finally speaking up for the first time. My heart swelled at the agony in his voice.

_Slap__!_ "You will!" Bellatrix screeched.

I glanced at Harry. He was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the door frame and his eyes were tightly shut and a look of disgust played on his face while Bellatrix continued to yell at Draco.

"You will do what the Dark Lord has commanded you to do or you will die trying!"

"Calm down, Bellatrix," came Snape's monotone voice. "There isn't any need to yell."

"Tell him to do it then, Severus! He'll listen to you."

There was a pregnant pause, in which I could hear every one of my veins pumping blood, and each breath every Deatheater was taking. I could feel the sweat on my neck, sticky and hot, and I could faintly smell smoke and dust.

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered. "Please."

My breathing quickened. I saw Harry open his eyes and peak just barely around the corner.

"Avada Kedavra."

There was a flash of green light. I stumbled backward, knocking into Ron who fell to the floor in surprise. By the time I found my balance Harry had ran into the room.

I dashed around the corner in time to see Harry catch everyone in the room off guard. He raised his wand, the fury he felt was tangible, and I could tell he was putting everything he had into the spell he sent hurdling toward Snape.

Snape raised his wand just in time, blocking the spell. But Harry reeled back again and sent another stunner.

"Granger! To your left!" I heard Draco yell from somewhere.

I turned to my left and raised a protective shield on instinct just as a beefy Deatheater sent a curse my way. It bounced off my shield, shattering it, but it hit him square in the chest with an "umff!"

"HE TRUSTED YOU!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry cast another curse at Snape. Before the blue light hit him, Snape flicked his coat and disparated in a cloud of black smoke. Tears were on Harry's cheeks, and he cast two more curses on the area Snape had been in moments before before he seemed to realize that the wizard had gone.

"Get them!" Bellatrix screamed.

"Granger watch out!" Draco yelled.

I spun around to see what he was talking about, but just as I did someone grabbed my arm, squeezing so hard my fingers grew numb and my wand dropped out of my hand. Whoever it was, tugged on my hair, exposing my neck, and I felt a wand press into my throat.

"Let go!" I yelled, trying to kick their legs. But they were too close to get a good swing in and the wand at my neck pressed harder.

"Get off!" Harry shouted. I craned my neck to find him, but he must have been behind me because I couldn't see a thing.

Then I saw Draco. Bellatrix grabbed the back of his shirt and pushed him in front of me. Only inches away, and yet so far, I could see a deep purple bruise on his cheek and a cut on his chin where blood and dirt had clumped together and dried. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot and tears had tracked stains down his face.

Suddenly Bellatrix's face was directly in front of mine, breathing hot, stale breath onto my face.

"You said this was Granger, Draco?" she asked.

Draco set his jaw and refused to answer. He met my eyes for a brief moment and I tried to tell him that it would be okay.

"The Mudblood?" She reached out and pinched my face painfully between two of her talon-like fingers. I struggled to shake my head from her grasp, but she held on tighter for a moment as if to spite me. Then she stepped back, grabbed Draco's arm, and thrust her wand between his fingers.

His eyes widened in terror as she forced his arm to raise up and point the end of her wand at my face. His chest rose and fell rapidly and he seemed to be sucking on the air like it was hard to breathe.

"Kill her," she whispered in his ear.

...

**A/N: Dun dun duuun! Sorry (not sorry) about the cliff hanger! **

**Thanks to everyone for the great comments on last chapter, I'm glad to see people were happy to have this story back! If you're new don't forget to leave a comment, favourite, and follow the story!**

**One last thing before you click that exit button! XkeepyourfaithX PMed me about a self harm survey they were conducting and it would be awesome if you would help them out and either search for their profile using the user name or copy and paste this URL to find it: ** www. fanfiction u/1838595/ **(don't forget to take out the spaces). There is a link on their profile that you can follow to take the survey. It's really short and you're just clicking bubbles to answer so it's really not that hard. **

**Thanks!**

**With love,**

**Wren Gebel**


	24. Chapter 24

_"Kill her," she whispered in his ear._

The blood drained out of his face. His bottom lip quivered and I saw tears come to his eyes as he barely shook his head. The wand in his hand bounced.

I squeezed my eyes shut, just waiting.

"Do it or I'll make you do it!" Bellatrix grated.

"I won't," Draco whispered.

"Give me your wand."

I opened my eyes to see Bellatrix demanding the wand of the Deatheater holding Harry. He moved forward and I could see Harry's face; white like Draco's, but his eyes were full of rage instead of tears. A bulky Deatheater was holding his arm in a twisted position and poking a wand deep into his throat. This he handed to Bellatrix, who in turn pointed it directly at Draco.

"Kill the Mudblood, Draco!" she yelled, threatening him with the wand.

He stood stock still. My eyes flicked between his face and the wand in Bellatrix hands.

Finally, swallowing hard, I made up my mind.

"Draco," I whispered. "Just do it." My eyes and cheeks became wet and my legs felt too weak to hold me up.

"No!" Harry yelled. "Hermione- nmff!" The Deatheater holding him slapped a thick hand over Harry's mouth.

Draco's steel grey eyes flicked to Harry and then back to me.

Bellatrix's face contorted. Her knuckles turned white around the wand. "Imperio!" she said.

Draco's eyes relaxed as the curse took control of him. Tears still dripped from his eyes, but he wasn't actually crying. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

"Malfoy!" Harry managed to yell. "You can fight it! I did in fourth year. Don't listen to what she's telling you!"

"Shut him up!" Bellatrix yelled.

The Deatheater, again, held Harry's mouth closed with his hand. But I could tell Draco had heard him. I could see a flash in his eyes, just for a moment, that told he was fighting the curse.

Bellatrix tightened her grip and jabbed the wand forward as if the strengthen the spell.

My mind whirled. I felt everything magnetized by 100. The wand jabbing at my throat, the Deatheater's grip in my hair, the tightness in my chest.

"Draco..." I whispered, hoping it would distract him from whatever Bellatrix was hissing into his mind.

The everything seemed to still.

"CONFRINGO!"

The room suddenly burst to flames. The cloak of the Deatheater holding me caught on fire, and he disparated in a cloud of black smoke. I saw Ginny in the doorway, casting spell after spell. Ron was just behind the wall, peaking out and sending curses whenever he got the chance.

The room filled with smoke. My eyes burned and watered uncontrollably. I dropped to the ground where the air was cleaner. My fingers found my wand and I used it to disarm a confused Deatheater. Harry caught the wand and began sending a fury of bright curses at Bellatrix.

She shrieked at the top of her lungs in anger, but she was having a hard time blocking Harry's spells.

Draco looked dazed still. He stood next to Bellatrix who was still trying to keep a hold on his collar. I aimed a stunner at her hand.

"Ahh!" she yelled. She pulled her hand quickly to her chest. It was smoking and growing in size. Harry took the opportunity to stun her again.

She whirled, throwing curse after curse all around the room, not caring at all who she hit.

I pulled Draco to the ground who still seemed to not understand what was going on. He had Bellatrix's wand in his hand still, and I told him not to let it go.

I stood up, aimed a stunner at one of the remaining Deatheaters, and with a flash of light he went stock still and toppled over backward. Ducking back down again, one of Bellatrix's wild curses hit my cheek. It stung and burned, cutting far into the flesh. I put my hand to it instinctively, but quickly pulled away when it burned harder at even the slightest touch.

Draco watched me wince at the pain and rub the blood that was pooling on my cheek between my fingers. Something inside of him must have clicked then, because he stood, aimed the wand in his hand at Bellatrix and sent a spell at her, knocking her to the ground with her own wand.

She snarled then one last time and took off in a cloud of smoke.

Seeing her abandon the fight, the couple of remaining Deatheaters followed her quickly.

The room stilled. It was all quiet except for the occasional signs of a remaining battle somewhere else in the castle. The smell of smoke burned my nostrils. The sudden stillness filled me with a haze.

Then I saw Draco, still standing and pointing his wand at the spot Bellatrix had been in as if no time had passed at all. I stood up and walked to him slowly, almost afraid of what expression I might see on his face. He breathed heavily. Tears stained his cheeks and his eyes were still far from dry. The wand was held steady in his hand, but his knuckles were white with force.

"Draco?" I whispered. I was well aware of every eye in the room on me and him, but I didn't care. I took his wand hand in mine and lowered his stiff arm. He blinked and looked at me. I could see and feel every emotion that flashed in his eyes. It burned down my throat and made my chest tighten and heat like hot coals.

I grabbed him around the waist and buried my head in his shoulder. I felt his face come down to my neck and felt the hot tears leak out of his eyes.

We held each other quietly. I forgot about anyone else in the room. I forgot that Harry and Ron didn't know about Draco and me. I forgot that the rest of the castle was under attack. I forgot about it all and I just held Draco tighter, cried harder, wished for longer.

We broke apart due to a loud crash on one of the levels below us. I was almost thankful for it because it stalled any questions or awkward glances at me from Harry or Ron.

"That sounded like it came from the Great Hall," Ginny said.

"Come on." Ron jogged out the door and Harry and Ginny followed him close behind.

I took Draco's hand, feeling it shake lightly and the blood pumped hard and fast beneath his skin. He looked at me, eyes puffy and raw, hair uncombed, raw emotion unlike any I've ever seen on his face.

"Come on," I whispered, tugging lightly on his hand.

"Granger-Hermione-wait."

I looked out the doorway where Harry, Ron, and Ginny had already left and were on their way toward another battle in the Great Hall, then I looked back at Draco. He was opening and closing his mouth, but he couldn't speak.

"I'm so sorry," he sputtered.

I shook my head and reached my hand up to place my fingers softly on his cheek. "It's not your fault."

His bottom lip shook just barely. His face leaned into my hand and he closed his eyes.

"Granger," he whispered. "There's something I want to tell you. And I want to tell you now in case something happens..."

"Nothings going to happen," I said firmly.

He opened his eyes and looked at me intently. I knew what he wanted to say. Of course I did. I had know for a long time. But with the battle down below it didn't feel appropriate now.

"Come on," I said, taking his hand once more. "Let's get this over with."

**A/N: Sorry it took a while to get this one up. I know it's kinda short. I keep saying that with all my chapters and they never get any longer. Ugg. Anyway. I hope you like!**


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